working out

Exercise & Poop & Procrastination
Parenthood

Exercise & Poop & Procrastination

by Jill
written by Jill

All morning I’ve been putting off blogging. I don’t know why, mostly because I was really comfy on my couch and I felt uninspired and I did try to clean the house. But then I got my reminder to fit in a workout before I pick the kids up, so now I’m procrastinating on THAT, and suddenly I feel like I should blog.

Speaking of working out, I am trying out Freeletics (that is my special link but I honestly don’t know what I get for sharing it), and by trying out I mean I’ve done two workouts so far. Seems legit. The workouts make me super sore, soo…. must be. I literally just signed up for the personalized coaching thing (I think it was $28ish for 3 months) on a whim. Are any of you doing this? The running part of it seems really promising, but procrastination-me thinks I need to get good wireless headphones before I do that. Hit me with any recommendations that are not $200. (Dre, I’m looking at you.)

So reading through the responses on my audience survey is AMAZING. (Have you taken it yet? I’m still giving away another $50 gift card once it gets to 1,500 responses.) The overwhelming majority of you say what you love to read the most here are humorous stories. That makes me happy.

It also makes me panic. The thing with the humorous stories is so many of them are not mine to tell anymore. My God, you guys, life with a 7 year old is HILARIOUS but not in a way I can write about online. And I find myself really guarded lately, and vulnerable, especially as my audience grows. Which is mostly unfounded. I get a really small percentage of trolling or negative feedback, but I’m overly cautious these days and that’s hard to get over.

I’m working on it, though. I really am.

So potty training is going well in the sense that Lowell hasn’t pooped on the floor. Or on the toilet. Or in his diaper for two days. The kid who poops like clock work at 7:30 every night hasn’t pooped in well over 48 hours.

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I told you all I got him those mini Thomas trains as incentive, right? So I was like, “Lowell, do you want more tiny Thomas trains?!” All excited, like I’m talking to a puppy with a piece of bacon in my hand, pointing at the potty.

And he’s like, “No. No trains. More McQueens!”

Oh. Okay.

I found this giant $20 battery operated Lightning McQueen at Target that he’s obsessed with, brought it home, and put it within his sight but out of reach, and told him all he had to do to get it was to poop on the potty.

I am so stupid. So dumb. Did he run off and poop in the potty? No. Instead, it’s like he now has performance anxiety? And now he just can’t poop. Soooooo excited for the McQueen and please please get it down, PLEASE but no he will not poop for it. Or anything. Never pooping again.

When some of you were like, “Jill, give us real potty training advice!” after my last post. Yeah, this is why I can’t do that. I can’t be responsible for your children never pooping again.

I should stop typing. I have 40 minutes to work out AND clean the house. I do my best work on deadlines like this. So, to summarize, Freeletics– do you use it and/or like it? Wireless headphone recs? Have you taken my audience survey? Please send good vibes to Lowell and his poops.

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I Want To Be Strong- On Body Image After Anxiety
BabiesParenthoodPopular Posts

I Want To Be Strong- On Body Image After Anxiety

by Jill
written by Jill

I remember the day I stepped on the doctor’s scale and weighed in at 139 nearly 3 years ago. I was there for a follow-up appointment, to get a renewed prescription for meds to treat my postpartum anxiety.

It had been a month since I begged them to work me in as quick as possible because I thought I was surely dying… of cancer, of a heart attack, of something. A month since I admitted to myself and a medical professional that I was dealing with some serious intrusive and obsessive thoughts nearly  9 months after having my 2nd baby.

One. Thirty. Nine. I hadn’t seen that number on a scale since high school. My first thought, which I said out loud, was, “do you think something is wrong with my thyroid? I mean. Wow. That’s… I haven’t even been working out.”

So, and I am sure this was mainly to appease me and ease my overactive concern, they ran some tests. Nope. Nothing wrong with my thyroid.

I was just, well, I was the thinnest I’d been in a long time, size 6 skinny jeans sagging off my non-existent butt, because I wasn’t taking care of myself. I wasn’t sleeping. I wasn’t eating. Not enough, I guess. I was living off of coffee. I wasn’t purposefully starving myself. I wasn’t aiming to lose weight that way. I had NO appetite.

It was all a part of the illness I was clawing my way away from. I was the thinnest I’d been in my adult life at a time when my life was the most scary it’s ever been.

I know this.

So it really makes me pissed at myself when I step on a scale these days, weighing a good 10-15 lbs more than that, and hear my inner dialogue tell me, “Remember when you were 139? Why can’t you be that skinny again?”

Hey, me? Shut the fuck up.

Because I knew the signs of postpartum anxiety this time, I caught on much earlier that I was back in that place again after having my 3rd baby a year ago. I started meds for it when he was 6 months old. I didn’t let myself get to that place where I’m living on the edge of a cliff. THANK GOD.

So the meds are working, and I am hungry, and I am enjoying life, and I’m sleeping.

The weight isn’t just falling off of me this time. Rationally, I know this is a GREAT thing. I’m not standing in front of a mirror, looking at my hollowed out cheeks, not able to recognize myself.

There is a pudgy tummy, and my butt is much bigger. My arms are  thicker, and my chicken legs are less chicken-y.

It’s not a bad body. It’s a great body. I look good in most clothes. I’m mostly happy with it.

It’s not a skinny 139 body, though, and for some reason there is still that voice that pushes me to achieve that again. And I keep trying to tell that voice that that wasn’t achieved by going to the gym 3x a week, like I’ve been doing. That wasn’t achieved by running the fastest 5k I’ve ever run, which I did last week. That wasn’t achieved by decreasing the amount of crap I’m eating AND increasing the good stuff I NEED to eat.

I’ve been working out more in the last couple months than I have in a long time. It’s been hard to put in so much effort and feel like I’m seeing so few results. I would love to tone up, to slim down just a little more in a HEALTHY way, nothing too extreme. I’d love to have some real muscles. I’m working on it.

I am fighting that voice in my head that holds that 139 body up as what I should be striving for. That 139 body was sick. It was weak.

IWantToBeStrong I want to be strong.

 

 

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Fashion & FitnessReviews

Who Wants to Get Their Wii Workout On With Me?

by Jill
written by Jill

It’s been 7 weeks since I walked into the hospital at 7 centimeters and squeezed my little chubster out 2 hours later. She is getting bigger every day, and I, thankfully, seem to be getting smaller.

At my 6 week appointment last week I learned I am 15 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight, having lost 28 lbs since Leyna was born. I’m wearing my first pair of non-elastic waist pants today, and while I’m happy with my progress so far (go calorie burning boobies!), I’m eager to tone up, slim down, and fit back into some more of my old clothes.

Now, before some of you start telling me to “take it easy,” believe me when I say I’m not about to embark on some sort of crash diet. I get that I may not lose all of those last 15 lbs for a long time, especially while I’m still breastfeeding. It’s not so much about the weight for me as it is about just getting active again and firming up a bit. Before I got pregnant with Leyna, I was fresh out of training for and running a marathon and in the best shape of my adult life. I don’t want to get too far from where I was. I don’t want to get too comfortable, too complacent.

But how will I fit in working out with 2 kids now? Especially after we had to cancel our membership to 24 Hour Fitness because I’d rather leave my children in the care of monkeys who very well may throw feces at them than the people they choose to staff their childcare center with. I can’t run with Leyna just yet, she’s too small for the jogging stroller and it’s still a little too chilly for long runs.

Enter the Wii.

As a pre-teen, I played Nintendo for hours on end. I’m fairly certain I spent an entire summer cooped up in my best friend’s room, tirelessly plugging away at Super Mario Brothers 1,2 and 3 until we beat each one. I was, to be completely honest with you all, a TOTAL NINTENDO BADASS. You know… until that became WAY uncool,and, like, I wanted to impress boys and stuff… so then I started playing with makeup.

Then last year the lovely Justine from Brand About Town reached out to me to see if I might be interested in becoming a Nintendo Ambassador. I think my inner 11 year old peed herself a little while the outter 29 year old tried her very best to remain composed and calm at our casual meeting.

A couple months later, Nintendo sent me a Wii and a Wii Fit Plus system and the love affair began all over again. I’ve been itching to dig in and get a good workout on, and now that I’m finally cleared for such things, I can’t wait to begin!

As a Nintendo Ambassador, I get to try out cool new games, like the newly released Mario Sports Mix. I also get to rope my husband into fun challenges and convince him he must dress up in dorky gear and team up with me to play another team for the chance to win personalized Nintendo jerseys (awesomest prize ever). We took the whole thing very seriously… and it paid off!

While I had a blast playing Mario Sports Mix and challenging Vanessa from Chefdruck Musings in Chicago via Wii’s WiFi Connect this weekend, I’m ready to get serious about using the Wii to get back into shape. I happened to stumble across a crazy good deal on the EA Sports Active 2 for Wii (only $19 at Toys R Us!) and picked it up yesterday.

I hope to set it up later tonight and get in my first good workout in nearly a year. I know there are a ton of other fun, active games for the Wii, though, so please tell me if you have one that rocks your socks off and makes you sweat! So far, Zumba and Just Dance are also on my workout wish list. Any others?

Have you had any success with working out on the Wii? Want to join me over the next couple months? I read there’s a way to set up a fitness group of friends with the EA Active. Would any of you be interested in joining in? I’d have to do a little more research to see how that works, but I’m sure I can get my friends at Nintendo to help me figure it out.

Kendall is 2 2/3 and Leyna is 7 weeks old today! And momma is ready to get her skinny jeans back on 🙂

**Disclosure- Nintendo sent the Wii, Wii Fit Plus and games to me at no charge. They also sent those rock star headbands, armbands and SEX-AY socks because they are awesome like that.

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