11:30 prepare lunch
11:45 make sure nobody needs to potty or a diaper change
11:50 turn on Thomas in the living room for one child
11:55 turn on Wonder Pets in the bedroom for the other child
11:58 stress, again, how super important it is that everyone watch TV quietly while mommy is on the phone
12:01 answer the call
12:03 make crazy eyes at the children who are asking for snacks like YOU DIDN’T JUST FEED THEM
12:06 silently mouth, “GO AWAY, OH MY GOD” while the client explains deliverables to you
12:09 retrieve Lucky Charms box from the pantry and try to quietly pour some in a cup
12:10 give up and give the toddler the whole box
12:11 watch as toddler pours Lucky Charms all over the floor, sifting through it on hands and knees, picking out only the marshmallows
12:15 escape to other room to get away from the 4 year old with no volume control only to find the toddler following you, furiously signing for milk because those marshmallows are dry as f&ck
12:20 end call by thanking the client for thinking of you for this amazing project while half topless with a toddler stuck to your boob who is also trying to pick your nose
I’m not saying this just happened, but yes, yes I am.