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word of the year

Word Of The Year Ideas For Parents
ParenthoodPrintables

Word Of The Year Ideas For Parents

by Jill December 18, 2018
written by Jill

Right around the middle of December is when our feeds start filling up with everyone’s end of the year Facebook highlights videos, which literally nobody else will watch except maybe their mothers, and proclamations of what their “word of the year” will be come January 1.

I’ve tried the word of the year. I usually forget about it come February, but maybe that’s just because I’m not really connecting with the words people generally claim for this kind of thing: success, focus, power, growth, joy, inspire, etc. etc. etc.

Maybe I need to set my bar lower. Don’t we all? Aren’t we all consistently trying to live up to the unattainable as parents?

May I suggest some words of the year for your consideration, fellow parents, especially parents of small children:

 

CLEANISH– As in, you strive to keep your home, your car, your children, and your hair clean-ISH- like, at least not a biohazard or oil slick on 4 out of 7 days.

AWAKE– Ideally, you’re awake because you’re well-rested or at least well-caffeinated, and that’s really all we can ask for from 2019.

FED– Your kids are fed, your dog is fed, YOU ARE FED. GOALS, friends. Keep everyone fed, and you are killing the game.

NOPE– Nope is the new YASSS. All that stuff that you immediately scream “NOPE!” to in your head before you open your smiling face and say yes? STOP. THAT. Go back to nope. Stick to nope.

DRESSED– Even with a low bar, this one will still be aspirational for many. Strive to put on pants, but forgive yourself for the days you spend in your PJs. Nobody’s perfect.

HYDRATE– This is mine. My word of the year for 2019 shall be HYDRATE. I thought I was actually dying a couple times in 2018 only because I hadn’t had a sip of water all day. Just drink more water. It’s not as easy as it sounds, but you gotta put these things out in the universe, right?

REAL– In the era of fake news and fake influencers and fake followers, it’s bold and imperative to embrace realness. Do not let the un-reality of others cast a shadow of doubt over your lived, beautiful, imperfect, messy reality- not on or offline.

Click here to download your free Word Of The Year cards printable >>

December 18, 2018 1 comment
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Be Intentional
ParenthoodSchool Age Days

Be Intentional

by Jill March 7, 2017
written by Jill

I’ve been thinking of getting a tattoo. I don’t have any, and I never, ever thought I’d get any. Not because I think they’re bad, but because I’m so fickle, and I’m certain I’d end up hating it.

I’m not a “word of the year” kind of person any more than I’m a tattoo person, but this year I can’t shake a word. I think of it every day, multiple times.

Intention

I am feeling the weight of a lot of things in life lately, and am trying so hard to be intentional with my time, with my words, with my love, with my commitments.

So I think, maybe, if I were to be the tattoo type, I think I would maybe get “be intentional” tattooed somewhere that would be a constant reminder. I don’t know. I don’t think I’ll go through with the tattoo, but I do think I’ll stick with intention as my word this year… maybe for the rest of my life, or just my 30s. (Did I mention I’m fickle?)

This word didn’t just come to me on January 1st. Throughout my last pregnancy, I felt the pull to trim the fat in my life, and to really focus on what matters- my family. I went to a summit in October last year as a member of this year’s #TalkEarly team for Responsiblity.org. This is my 2nd year, and I am still so honored to get to team up with them to talk to you all about the importance of talking to our kids about alcohol (from as young as 6 years old) and creating lifelong conversations about alcohol responsibility. This post is sponsored by Responsiblity.org. 

Clinical Psychologist Dr. Shefali, and author of The Awakened Family, talked to us about connection and purposeful interactions with our children. It was a significant moment for me that brought that word closer to the surface- intention.

One thing she said that really shook me was “Connection comes before correction, busy schedules, and achievement.” 

talk early

Man, shouldn’t that be the way? I’ve talked a little about how Kendall turning 9 this year is ripping my heart apart. This feels so urgent to me. Nine is busy sports schedules, and homework, and prepping for tests. Nine is getting in trouble- like the kind of trouble you really have to learn from before it becomes big, serious trouble in a few years.

But through all of this, the chaos, the studying, the stern talks, the redirecting, we HAVE to connect with him. We have to do that first. 

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So… intention. I am intentionally making life changes. I am intentionally setting an example for him, and not just trusting he will see me for a mom who really does try hard. I am intentionally putting that connection first as much as I can. And I am intentionally watching my language.

We tell our kids this all the time- “Words matter. Words have power.” So in this year of intention, I’m intentionally trying to keep myself from saying things like, “Mommy is so stressed, she needs a glass of wine.” 

I don’t want this idea to stress you out. I don’t want anyone to finish reading this and feel like there is no room for error when it comes to parenting. In fact, I think kids learn more from our mistakes than our successes. I just want to put it out there that sometimes when you are more intent in how you parent, it relieves stress and that feeling of lost control… at least it has for me… for now.

Thanks to Responsiblity.org for sponsoring this post and having me on the #TalkEarly team for the 2nd year. 

March 7, 2017 1 comment
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How I Became A More Adult-y Adult in 2015
LifestyleParenthoodPostpartum Anxiety & Depression

How I Became A More Adult-y Adult in 2015

by Jill January 6, 2016
written by Jill

I can’t do the thing where you pick a word for the new year. It feels too resolution-y to me. BUT, I realized I CAN pick a word to describe the year behind me.

And the word for my 2015 would have to be “Adult-ish” because in 2015 I successfully became a more adult-y adult.

Not a full-grown adult. No, I still have terrible habits like waking up at the last possible minute, not paying close attention to my budget, and leaving dirty dishes on the counter, but I totally learned to function at a more adult level last year. At the age of 34, with 3 kids.

HowIbecamemoreadulty

I cut back on sugar. I know, what does being an adult have to do with diet? Not much UNLESS your diet makes you crash so hard you must nap EVERY DAY. Adults don’t take naps every day, unfortunately (though I am ALL for changing that). You may remember that I did a Whole 30 this time last year. I didn’t lose weight, but it broke my sugar addiction, and that turned out to be huge.

Sure, I’ll still eat sugar, but now I know how it effects me. The less sugar I have before dinner time, the more productive I am, and the less I feel the need to crawl under the covers at 2 pm. I never drink coffee with sugar in it anymore, and I haven’t had a soda (only a few sips here and there) since Jan 1 of 2015. Frankly, they are gross to me now. Candy bars, too.

I said “No” alllll the time. No, I can’t do that project, it takes time away from projects that I love. No, I can’t make your school Valentines party, I have stuff I need to do at home, but I’ll have a special dinner with you tonight. No, I will not feel guilty for not volunteering for x, y, and z.

I really prioritized what MATTERED in 2015. My family, of course, my marriage, and my own projects. From a professional standpoint, I probably missed out on some extra money last year, but I spent time investing in my own brand and platform, not getting paid to write for or promote other brands and platforms. It was far more fulfilling, and way better for my sanity.

I learned to take small steps. I didn’t morph into a more adult-y adult by tackling huge goals. I just made more small grown up choices, day by day. Whereas I use to feel paralyzed by huge tasks, this time I freed myself of those expectations.

No, I didn’t have to organize the WHOLE house, but hey, what about that one closet? I could get that done. I didn’t have clean the whole house, but let’s start with the dishes.

BTW, I’ve learned that if I just at least get the dishes done, everything seems to fall in place from there. I start picking up, wiping off, and the house at least appears clean (even if that other closet is hiding a clutter monster). It all starts with the dishes.

I did the stuff I didn’t want to do as soon as I could do them.  Make the call. Answer the email. Do what you most don’t want to do. Just get it done. I felt so much better once that one thing that I really didn’t want to face was off my radar for good.

I took risks, I made mistakes, I failed, I apologized. Whew, this was a toughie. I let myself be vulnerable. I started projects that didn’t go how I planned. I gave myself permission to try new things. I bombed at some things I did, and let others down. I took responsibility and apologized sincerely. I listened and learned and tried harder.

This is basic stuff, but I much prefer to just not letting myself make mistakes in the first place.

I went to bed earlier. Not to say I fell asleep earlier, but I was at least in bed before midnight most nights. If you don’t want to take a nap every day, it’s kinda important you get more than 4 hours of sleep at night.

IMG_1019

I stopped working at night. I just can’t anymore, you guys. I used to get all my writing and emails done after 10 pm, but then I never got to spend time with my husband before going to bed, and I’d find myself coming to bed at insane hours, like 2 or 3 in the morning. Then I was horribly unproductive until 10 pm the next day. It was an awful cycle to break, but I’m so glad I did.

Now, I check out by dinner time every night (since I still get a lot done between the time my husband gets off work and when we sit down to eat). By the time we’ve tucked all the kids in, I can’t even imagine turning on my computer. I like it this way, leaves more time for The Walking Dead marathons. 

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I took care of myself. Obviously, I made sleep a priority this year. Not naps, but solid hours of sleep at night, knowing that it’s SO tied to how well I function the next day.

Also, I stayed on Lexapro. I’ve been on it for 2 years now, and I am madly in love with it. Treating my anxiety has been THE BIGGEST step in unlocking the adult-y achievement badge. I kicked anxiety in the ass so hard that I managed to get on a plane and fly across an ocean to visit Israel. Hashtag: huge.

IMG_9474 (2)

I look back at how hard it was to function at any level just a year and a half ago, and I am PROUD of things like getting dressed (mostly) every day, and making it a whole week without needing a nap. I’m proud of how much my business grew, and what our family schedule looks like now- that my kids can always count on family dinner around the table and me tucking them in when it’s bedtime.

Maybe my word of 2016 will be “Adult” without the “ish.”

January 6, 2016 5 comments
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