Baby Rabies
  • Start Here
    • About Baby Rabies
    • Baby Registry Top Picks
    • Favorite Pregnancy Apps
  • The Book
  • Pregnancy
    • Birth Stories
    • Perinatal Mood Disorders
  • Parenthood
    • Babies
    • Toddlers
    • School Age Kids
    • Parenting LOLZ
  • Photography
    • Photography

      6 Stunning Photos You Would Never Guess Were…

      February 11, 2019

      Photography

      Simple Tips For Editing Snow Photos On Your…

      December 13, 2018

      Photography

      I Wrote A Photography eBook And This Is…

      December 6, 2018

      Photography

      Creative Lighting Ideas To Help You Take Great…

      November 27, 2018

      Photography

      Learn How To Take And Edit Photos On…

      November 19, 2018

  • Reviews
    • Reviews

      The Answer To Last Minute Holiday Gifting For…

      December 19, 2018

      Reviews

      I Was Never A Barbie Girl Until Now

      October 1, 2018

      Reviews

      Finally! Jeans For My Jean-Averse Kids!

      August 22, 2018

      Reviews

      If Your Kid Loves Dump Trucks & Garbage…

      August 13, 2018

      Reviews

      Nobody Tell My Kids ABC Mouse Is Part…

      September 4, 2017

  • Subscribe

Baby Rabies

pregnancy & parenting

  • Start Here
    • About Baby Rabies
    • Baby Registry Top Picks
    • Favorite Pregnancy Apps
  • The Book
  • Pregnancy
    • Birth Stories
    • Perinatal Mood Disorders
  • Parenthood
    • Babies
    • Toddlers
    • School Age Kids
    • Parenting LOLZ
  • Photography
    • Photography

      6 Stunning Photos You Would Never Guess Were…

      February 11, 2019

      Photography

      Simple Tips For Editing Snow Photos On Your…

      December 13, 2018

      Photography

      I Wrote A Photography eBook And This Is…

      December 6, 2018

      Photography

      Creative Lighting Ideas To Help You Take Great…

      November 27, 2018

      Photography

      Learn How To Take And Edit Photos On…

      November 19, 2018

  • Reviews
    • Reviews

      The Answer To Last Minute Holiday Gifting For…

      December 19, 2018

      Reviews

      I Was Never A Barbie Girl Until Now

      October 1, 2018

      Reviews

      Finally! Jeans For My Jean-Averse Kids!

      August 22, 2018

      Reviews

      If Your Kid Loves Dump Trucks & Garbage…

      August 13, 2018

      Reviews

      Nobody Tell My Kids ABC Mouse Is Part…

      September 4, 2017

  • Subscribe

supermom

Home Decor & DIYParenthoodStuffThe Story

Faking it

by Jill April 20, 2010
written by Jill

Every now and then a friend will say something to me like, “How do you do it all?” or, even worse, refer to me as a “Supermom.” It’s totally mind boggling. It really is. I do NOT have it all together, I certainly don’t do even close to half of it, and I still haven’t gotten around to making my Supermom cape (though the fabric is purchased and stacked nicely among all the other piles of fabric for all the other projects I keep meaning to do but never seem to make their way out of my craft closet).

On these occasions, I usually chime something back like, “What? Me? Oh, honey. It’s all smoke and mirrors.” Truly, it is. I’ve actually always been pretty good at faking it, glossing things over, tidying up at the last minute, disguising and distracting. All skills that I’ve found to be massively helpful since becoming a mom, and even just since becoming a home-owner.

Truth be told, my house is never as clean as it is the mornings I host play group. So, the charade should be up now for all the play-groupie friends reading this. That level of sterile, the environment free of animal hair is not normal. My secret is out.

I’m a big believer in the power of a good spot clean. Why take the time to scour the whole thing when only a part of it looks dirty? Don’t get me wrong, the germs that live on the clean looking parts meet their match about once every week or two, but the rest of it gets special attention more often only if it actually *looks* dirty.

My husband and I have worked out a bit of a system over the last two years, dividing jobs. He loads the dishes since he can’t stand the way I don’t pre-rinse them enough (hey, only trying to save the environment), and I unload them because I can’t stand the way he has no regard for the order of things around here. I pretty much do all the laundry, including the diapers. He cleans the cat box, and the toilets. I vacuum (because I still love my Dyson so much I could lick it) and he mops. That last part is what I love the most. He mops this worst-idea-ever-thank-you-stupid-bachelor-with-no-pets-or-kids-who-lived-here-before-us WHITE TILE KITCHEN FLOOR that shows everything. I despise this floor almost as much as Ann Coulter.

However, from time to time, like when he’s traveling and it’s my week to host play group, the tile floor desperately needs attention. So what do I do? Well, I sure as hell don’t lug that nasty ass mop out of the garage and start a sink of mop water. Instead, I take a cue from my old pal Pippy. You remember her, right? Pippy Longstocking? Who among us DIDN’T want to skate around on a floor of suds?

I slip on my super cool, hot pink MOP SHOES!

Not very much unlike these (on sale at LillianVernon.com for only $4.98)

I grab my spray bottle full of water, vinegar and a dash of Dr. Bronner’s castile soap, spray, spray spray, then slide, slide, slide, doing side lunges back and forth across the floor. It’s quite the workout. When I come across a particularly stubborn spot, I do a little twist. I guess if I really wanted to let lose, I could try out all sorts of dance moves, though the running man might end in disaster.

It takes all of about 5 minutes, and Viola! The white tile floor is sparkling…sorta… if you don’t look too close… especially at the baseboards. But, hey, it’s enough to feel like the kitchen is presentable, and I don’t get nearly as frustrated at the first person or animal who drops a ball of hair/cup of milk/pool of drool on it, knowing such minimal effort went into it all.

So that’s one of my little tricks in my bag of smoke and mirrors. What about you? Come on, ‘fess up. What do you do to “fake it”?

Kendall is less than 2 weeks away from turning 2. Holy. Moly.

April 20, 2010 36 comments
0 FacebookPinterestWhatsappEmail
ParenthoodStuffThe Story

“Supermom” confesses

by Jill December 20, 2009
written by Jill

It’s that time of year again when I get a wild hair up my ass and try to spruce up this place I call a blog. You may have noticed the new color scheme and the sa-weet threaded comments feature, but I’m pretty sure you’ve definitely noticed the new JuiceBox Jungle video player to the right. Let’s just get this out there… I am getting paid to host it here.

That, however, does not take away from the coolness that is inside. I actually found out about JuiceBoxJungle.com when I visited another blog and got sucked in watching the videos. Frankly, they are hysterical and speak to my inner mommy soul, and I’m pretty damn sure they will ring true with a lot of my readers, too. Let’s take this quick segment on parenting with playpens today for example. Recently I showed you how we evolved from Baby Jail to George. We could not have survived those early mobile months without the Baby Jail! This is just one of those topics that I could really relate to.

After I poked around and watched a handful of videos that made me nearly snort my wine, I took the Truth and Dare quiz to find out my “True Mom Style”.   I almost choked  when it revealed my results.  Apparently, I am some sort of “Super Mom”. Say WHA???

Suuuuuuupermom!! You are organized, never run out of milk, and you book birthday parties 3 months ahead. You can’t be pushed around by your kids and you make sure they are fed the best organic food and get to bed on time. But at same time you are loads of fun. You throw yourself into kids play with great passion! Forts, crafts, soccer games, you do it all! You run riot with your kids in the park and then find it in your heart to bake cookies for the PTA. Your friends would hate you if you weren’t so much fun!

That is not possible. It’s just not. I don’t think they ask the right questions. And to prove it, here are some very non-Supermom worthy confessions:

1. I do run out of milk on occasion, actually, and last week I let the dishes go for so long that I found homemade yogurt in sippy cups at the bottom of the sink.

2. I may be able to plan parties months in advance, but I don’t have the foresight or the desire, really, to plan my menu for the month or the week. I’ve tried numerous times to clip coupons, but they NEVER make it to the store with me. My pantry is a disaster and I always come home from the store with stuff we already have because I lack the ability to make a good grocery list.

3. I may feed my kid organic whenever possible, but today I lived off a diet of cinnamon rolls, peppermint Hershey’s Kisses and coffee.

4.  I may try to do crafts with my kid, but last week, when I was attempting to make this handprint/footprint reindeer from No Time For Flashcards, I snapped at Kendall and muttered “Oh for FUCKS sake, will you just be STILL so I can trace your foot!” after 15 minutes of what felt like wrestling a pig.

5. Kendall may go to bed on time every night, but I assure you that is purely for selfish reasons.

But, hey, if they want to call me Supermom, who am I to argue? I’m making my cape tomorrow. You may think that’s one of my regular exaggerations, but it’s not. I just made superhero capes for all my nieces and nephews for Christmas today, and tomorrow I think I just might make Kendall one and one for myself, Supermom. And then it will probably get spaghetti sauce or chalk or crayons on it and I’ll need to wash it, and it will end up in the hazard zone of our house known as the bottom of my closet, maybe never to be seen again… because I’m super like that.

Anyway, the JuiceBox Jungle widget is here to stay for a while. It shouldn’t go playing on you, though, if you don’t want it to. It’s not to make any noise unless asked, so please don’t worry about coming here and jumping out of your skin when you’re startled by it playing because that should not happen. The content will be changing from week to week, so if you’re interested, give it a look and press play.  This week I see there is no video, just a quiz, sponsored by Restaurant.com.

I’m wondering when they will do a segment on whether or not it’s appropriate to wear your Supermom cape to happy hour?

Kendall is 19 and a half months old, merely years away from being embarrassed by his Supermother wearing her cape in public.

December 20, 2009 13 comments
0 FacebookPinterestWhatsappEmail

@babyrabies

Instagram did not return a 200.

Buy Jill’s Book

50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide

Up Your Phone Photography

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

©2019 | BabyRabies.com


Back To Top