It worked! Well, I guess I should say it’s working. After speed reading some key chapters in Dr. Ferber’s book last week, we started implementing the modified version of crying it out this weekend. After just a couple days, I slept for 8.5 hours, pretty much uninterrupted, for the first time last night in I don’t even know how long. It was more peaceful than sleep ever was during pregnancy. There was no back pain to deal with, no Snoogle to fight with, no trips to the bathroom, and best of all, NO FEEDING THE BABY!!
I know all you sleep deprived mothers are dying to know all the details, so here you go:
Friday night – Night 1
Kendall went down at his normal bedtime, 7:30, after his usual routine of bath, lotion, jammies, rock and nurse. (Yes, I’m still nursing him to sleep or drowsy. I will elaborate more on this later)
He woke for the first time at 11:30. I had Scott go in and check on him right away. He then left and we let Kendall cry for about 5 minutes. His cries actually had started to taper off around 3 minutes, but then they picked backup so I had Scott go back in just to pat his back and reassure him. The whole time I lay there in bed listening on the monitor, and this second visit pissed Kendall off royally. It really escalated his cries and then I felt bad for even having Scott go in there a second time. Scott said he was laying there, throwing his arms up in the air, demanding to be picked up. I thought for sure we were in for a battle. I was preparing myself for the heartbreak. Then, to my surprise and utter delight, a few minutes after Scott left the room for the second time Kendall quickly calmed down and went right to sleep. No drama, no vomitting, no choking on his own spit. It was amazing.
He woke again briefly at 12:30, but only half assed the cries this time around and I knew he was too tired to fight it. Sure enough, he put himself back to sleep in just a few minutes and we never had to check on him.
At 1:30 I decided to go ahead and feed him when he woke up, then he slept until 5:30 when I fed him again.
Night one was a relative success with us getting down to only 2 night feedings, which was a wonderful change for the 4 nightfeedings we had been dealing with for the last month.
Saturday night – Night 2
Kendall went down a little later than usual. It was closer to 8:30, I think. Again, we followed the routine of bath, lotion, jammies, rock and nurse.
After a few hours of quiet and no wakings, I decided to go ahead and top him off at 12 before going to bed with what they call a “dreamfeed”. My theory was I was pretty sure he was going to wake up in an hour or so anyway and I’d rather deal with this now than wake up from a comfy sleep in an hour. It was a good thing I did, because as I rocked him I kept thinking to myself, “Gah… your room smells FOUL! WTF? Is there a dirty diaper hiding somewhere in here? Geez… I just cleaned your room really well. Hmmm… wait a sec… that smell seems to be coming from…. ahhh, shit. You have a dirty diaper.” Yeah, I came to this realization right at the end of his feeding. So I had to change his diaper and wake him up. I thought we were doomed, but was totally surprised and relieved again when I laid him down awake in his crib and he put himself back to sleep in a matter of minutes.
He woke again at 5:15 and I had Scott go in to check on him. He only had to check on him once this time and then Kendall was back to sleep within a couple minutes of Scott leaving his room. Total awake time being less than 10 minutes, and the crying was really tame too. More of a whine and fake cry than anything.
Next thing I know it’s 8:15 and am I being woken by the noise of a crying baby? No! Instead, Scott is waking me and tells me that Kendall is playing with my sister (who came in for a visit) in the other room. Was he starving? No! He was happy and playing. Of course, I did insist that he nurse right away before my breasts exploded, and he did get down to business and seriously put away some boobie, but that was fine by me!
Sunday night – Night 3
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it… so I stuck with the same bedtime routine (although we were back at 7:30 instead of 8:30) and dreamfed him at 11:30.
He woke again at 5:30 as Scott was getting ready for work. I think it was the noise that bothered him since his room backs up to our bathroom. I vaguely remember Scott going in to check on him once, and I’m pretty sure he conked out shortly after that. I’m happy to report that the details are all fuzzy because I was in and out of sleep. Scott knew the drill and took care of everything.
At 8:15 I got up, refreshed, rejuvenated, ready to take over the world! I found Kendall happily playing with his feet in his crib. I promptly attached him to the boob that felt the closest to popping and then dreamed of all the many things I can get done today.
Now, maybe I’m totally jinxing myself (wouldn’t be the first time), but this whole process was far easier than I expected. I would say that Kendall actually got more sleep and cried less than when I was allowing him to wake up and eat at will throughout the night. We have all been happier, better rested, he’s resisting naps less, and I’m pretty sure that if I end up paying for his therapy in the future, this will not be the reason.
We are still nursing to sleep at night because it works for us and I like it (I KNOW! I like it… I really am now one of those moms who will be sad when her baby stops breastfeeding). I know we will eventually have to phase that out, but I’m waiting until we have all the nighttime feedings eliminated first and that will be the last thing we work on.
I guess we will stick with the 11:30 dreamfeed for now, at least untiil after the new year. Then I will try to drop that, as well. But, as it stands now, I am one happy momma. He may not be the poster child for Ferberizing yet. He is still nursing to sleep and eating at least once a night, but if I’m getting my 8 hours of sleep, I’m a happy camper.
I really hope that gave some of you a little bit of hope! Maybe for Christmas YOU’LL get a silent night, too 🙂
Kendall is almost 7 and a half months old.
I was asked this in a previous post, so allow me to answer. I believe in the power of sleep. I cherish it and think it is a vital part of a healthy life. I also believe that preventing someone from sleeping is a form of torture and that willingly preventing yourself from sleeping is a form of insanity. My philosophy is that we should all get some more f-ing sleep in this house!!! With this said, it is clear that my sweet, chubby cheeked child has, sometime in the last few weeks, transformed into a demented villain, sent to terrorize me for the rest of my life. Perhaps this sounds a bit of an exaggeration to you? I would bet that you have slept more than 3 hours in a row at some point in the last two weeks. I sound crazy because I am on the verge of insanity brought on by lack of sleep.
When I brought him home from the hospital and he woke every two hours it indeed sucked. However, I was somewhat mentally prepared for all of that and got myself through it by chasing that magical carrot that is sleeping through the night at some point shortly after the newborn stage. Milestones have come and gone. He has mastered the dead man’s crawl so well that he has come dangerously close to making it into the dog’s water before I have had a chance to poke my head in and out of the refrigerator. He is recognizing some of the baby sign language signs already. He has 6 teeth!! He still does not sleep through the night.
As I have recently elaborated on, he not only doesn’t sleep through the night, but is now waking all the time. All. the. time, people. Just when I fall asleep there he is on the monitor! Yes, yes… I wait to see if it will become crying or if he will just fall back to sleep. Although I don’t know what good that is doing anyone. I’m still not sleeping if I am laying there listening to him. 90% of the time it escalates and he is not going back to sleep. So off I go with the magical boobs in tow, or Scott will wake and bring him to the magical boobs. Then we all settle in for our next 2 to three hours of sleep. In addition to this madness, he is now fighting naps so hard that I’m beginning to worry if Freddy Kruegar is waiting for him in his dreams.
Today we had planned to get the house baby proofed, clean up a little, hang some curtains, and decorate for Christmas. Not lofty plans by any means. Did we accomplish these things? No. Instead, I spent the day fighting to get Kendall to take a nap. The WHOLE day was one giant mess because he refused to sleep.
Okay… I guess you get the point now. He won’t sleep. Sorry for the tirade. Anyway, I’m dead set on getting my nights back. We must ALL get our nights back, including Kendall. It can not be healthy for him to spend his days so tired, yet so dead set against sleep. So…. I sit here typing with Dr. Richard Ferber’s book to my left. It is patiently waiting for me to pick it up and read it (yet, I am faced with another dilemma which is who on earth has time and energy to read a book about how to get your baby to sleep when the baby is currently NOT sleeping and you’re exhausted to the point of delirium?).
That’s right folks. I will be letting my child cry it out. I will be Ferberizing. You may think what you want, as I’m sure there are plenty of you cringing as you read this, plenty of you already feeling sorry for my child. Allow me to clarify that I do this out of love for him, and yes, admittedly out of the need for a somewhat normal sleep routine around here. I have been fighting a cough/head cold/sinus infection for going on three weeks now. I am not a good mother to my son when I can not function. I can not function on no sleep.
So there. I’m doing it. And I’m sure you all know that I will keep you informed on how it goes down. In the meantime, I leave you with this hilarious email forward that was posted on thebump.com not too long ago. I found it funny at the time. I find it scary accurate now. I do not know who the orginal author was… surely some wise baby who is the Hitler of the baby sleep strike movent. Enjoy.
Sleeping through the night: A baby’s point of view
OK, here’s my situation. My Mommy has had me for
almost 7 months. The first few months were great—Icried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, day or
night. Then something happened.Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to STTN
(sleep thru the night).At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is
only getting worse. I’ve talked to other babies, and
it seems like it’s pretty common after Mommies have
had us for around 6 months.Here’s the thing: these Mommies don’t really need to
sleep. It’s just a habit. Many of them have had some
30 years to sleep–they just don’t need it anymore.
So I am implementing a plan. I call it the Crybaby
Shuffle.It goes like this:
Night 1–cry every 3 hours until you get fed.
Iknow, it’s hard. It’s hard to see your Mommy upset
over your crying. Just keep reminding yourself, it’s
for her own good.Night 2–cry every 2 hours until you get fed.
Night 3–every hour.
Most Mommies will start to respond more quickly
after about 3 nights.
Some Mommies are more alert, and may resist the
change longer. These Mommies may stand in your
doorway for hours, shhhh-ing. Don’t give in. I
cannot stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS KEY!!If you let her STTN (sleep through the night), just
once, she will expect it every night. I KNOW IT’S
HARD! But she really does not need the sleep, she is
just resisting the change.If you have an especially alert Mommy, you can stop
crying for about 10 minutes, just long enough for
her to go back to bed and start to fall asleep. Then
cry again. It WILL eventually work. My Mommy once
stayed awake for 10 hours straight, so I know she
can do it. Last night, I cried every hour. You just
have to decide to stick to it and just go for it.BE CONSISTENT! I cried for any reason I could come
up with.
My sleep sack tickled my foot.
I felt a wrinkle under the sheet.
My mobile made a shadow on the wall.
I burped, and it tasted like pears (I hadn’t eaten
pears since lunch – what’s up with that?)
The dog said ‘woof’ (I should know. My Mommy reminds
me of this about 20 times a day. LOL.)
Once I cried just because I liked how it sounded
when it echoed on the monitor in the other room.
Too hot, too cold, just right–doesn’t matter! Keep
crying!!
It took awhile, but it worked. She fed me at 4am.
Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am.
You need to slowly shorten the interval between
feedings in order to reset your Mommies’ internal
clocks.P.S. Don’t let those rubber things fool you, no
matter how long you suck on them, NO milk will come
out! Trust me.
Kendall is 7 months and 5 days old
As if you couldn’t tell from pictures, he relishes meal time, and while his love for the boob still remains, he’s slowly growing accustomed to the joys of solid foods that are not produced by my super calorie burning mammary glands (seriously, I will be in the market for a personal trainer and gym membership when this kid weans, which is almost enough incentive to be one of *those* moms that breastfeeds her 8 year old… almost).
So I’m sure you all can gather that being nearly seven months old for his first Thanksgiving was PERFECT timing. Not only had he been practicing eating solids for a good three weeks, but he also had 4 teeth to help with the gnashing. (As I type this he has 5 and is working on his 6th…Oh Lord, will there ever be a break from this teething nightmare?!) And he can thank his grandparents for feeding him the “good stuff”, like cinnamon rolls and bacon, and convincing me to leave behind my so very thoughtfully planned out all organic and homemade baby food diet for him, at least for the week we were visiting. That’s right folks… I said HOMEMADE baby food! I am SO that mom that I swore I would never be. From a post dated July 21, 2007
Prior to the Rabies, I always associated slings with hippie parents – not that that’s a bad thing. I just always thought you had to be the type of mom who made her own organic baby food from the organic vegetables she grew in her own garden to wear one, and I have no time or desire for that shit. However, I found some adorable Hotslings in very stylish patterns, and I like the idea of baby as accessory (wonder how many people I pissed off with that statement).
Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! I have to admit, though, that the Moby with Kendall’s chubby head and arms peaking out did make quite the fashion statement. And it turns out I do have the time and desire to make my own baby food. It’s ridiculously easy to do and it is so much cheaper than those jars. I’ve found wholesomebabyfood.com to be an excellent resource and I’ve picked up a lot of great tips from the book The Super Baby Food Diet (Although I don’t know that it warrants buying it full price. I found mine for $3 at our consignment store.)
We started out with simple mashed avocado and some breastmilk, or baby guacamole, and then advanced to smashed bananas, pureed sweet potatoes, peas, applesauce, carrots, and pears, and we’ve been adding Earth’s Best oatmeal cereal and plain organic yogurt on occasion. The guac and bananas are the easiest since there is no real prep. involved. Just remove from the peel and smoosh. Now that he’s okay with the thicker consistency I don’t even bother diluting it with breastmilk. I may add just the tiniest bit of water if need be.
My method of making the food is to steam the veggies, then puree in the food processor, fill ice cube trays, freeze over night, then store on freezer bags. I defrost a couple cubes at a time when I need them. Easy peasy.
Why, you may ask, did we wait until six months? Mainly, it boiled down to these reasons:
1. I dealt with a colicky baby for the first 10-12 weeks of his life and was happy with the peace that came with the digestive tract truce thereafter. I wasn’t exactly chomping at the bit to go screwing around with his gut.
2. Breastmilk did the boy good. He was in the 92nd percentile for weight at his 6 month appointment and never had so much as a spoonful of cereal.
3. Breastfeeding was working for him and me. It was easy. Why rush the mess and hassle of purees and spoons and bibs and dishes when you don’t need to? Not to mention the poop!
4. Seriously. The poop. Breastmilk poops are damn near close to pleasant. Nary a smell to them, very easy to clean up, wash right off the old diapers. Now that we are onto solids, I have a lovely transition period known as peanutbutter poop to look forward to. Nothing a little flushable liner won’t fix, but still, not nearly as delightful as curdled breastmilk poops.
(Note for cloth diaper followers – this really hasn’t been that bad to deal with. I mean, okay, it’s a little gross sometimes, but I deal. It’s a short phase. We put a flushable liner in each diaper. He only poops like once every other day, so if it’s not soiled with poop, we just throw it in with the wash. You can reuse a liner a couple times. When he does poop, I can just peel the liner off and flush it and the peanutbutter poop right down the toilet. Supposedly, this gets better once the poop gets more solid. Then it just rolls right off the diaper into the toilet, no liner required. At least, this is what I hear.)
Now, I so wish I could sit here and tell all of you that starting solids was the magical thing that made my baby sleep through the night. I mean, that’s what everyone tells you from the beginning, isn’t it? “Oh, he’s not sleeping through the night yet? He needs cereal. Feed him solids and he’ll sleep for you.” Really? REALLY?!!! LIARS LIARS PANTS. ON. FIRE. Not ONLY is he not sleeping through the night (yeah… that last post… that one where he slept for 7 hours… total, utter, complete fluke, nature’s way of screwing with my head, punishing me for God knows what, never happened again), but he has gone from waking 2 times a night to every 2 to 3 hours! Who knows why. Could be the sixth tooth he’s working on. Could be a growth spurt. Could be some sort of rebellion or clingyness. I don’t freaking know because, once again, I can’t find the damn Baby Manual that SURELY must have shot out of my vagina sometime between the baby and the placenta.
Kendall is 7 months old… and awake… again
for fear I may jinx it, but I feel like I need to record this historic event in the life of me and my little boy so that I may refer to it in the future to reassure myself that my child, indeed, does have the capacity to sleep for more than 5 hours straight. KENDALL SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT LAST NIGHT!! ::knocking on every piece of wood in sight::
I put him down at 7:30, fed him once at midnight, per our usual routine, then headed off to bed with three Advil and a big cup of water because I was feeling like ass. I guess it’s a head cold or something. I was exhausted and already dreading the inevitable trudge across the house in a few hours for the second nighttime feeding, and fearing any additional feedings that seem to be coming with this whole new world of solids introductions (because saying a baby will sleep through the night once they start solids is such a fucking lie, people!…. more on that in another post). I made sure to turn the monitor up louder than usual because I knew how hard it was going to be to get out of bed. Plus, Scott was out of town for the night and he’s usually the first to wake up when Kendall starts crying. In fact, my lovely husband who I love oh so dearly is the one to go get Kendall 90% of the time and bring him to me to nurse him in bed in the middle of the night. Then, only partly because he loves me so much and mainly because he’s afraid I am going to drop the baby in my sleep-walk haze, he is the one to take him back. It’s things like that that really make up for the fact that he has no ability to control the volume of his voice while I am trying to get Kendall down for a nap.
Now, I’m really hoping that the reason why I didn’t wake up to feed him last night is because he really did sleep through the night, not because I was so incredibly exhausted that I slept right through his cries and my husband wasn’t there to rescue the baby. Ugh… the mommy guilt, it’s trying to take away my joy. It’s trying to ruin this wonderful night of sleep for me!
Well, when I awoke this morning to, not the sound of a squawking/screaming baby, but to the sound of the school buses behind our house, I laid in bed for a minute or two wondering, “Why do I feel so…. so … rested? So… refreshed? Why do I not hear Kendall? How many times did he wake last night? Oh….my… God…. HE’S DEAD!! HE MUST BE!!!” I then leap out of bed, dart toward his room, fling his door open, and am greeted by my smiling baby, happily playing with his lovey. If my boobs weren’t about to explode, I would have tried the duck and roll before he saw me so that I could get some more sleep. I picked him up to bring him back to bed with me and reflected on a bit of advice my brother in law told me this summer. It went something like this:
“There will be a morning when you will wake up and not hear the baby crying, and you will be tempted to run to their room to check on them because you think they are dead. The way I see it is just enjoy the extra sleep. Chances are they are fine, and if they are dead, what are you going to do?”
Morbid. I know. It makes me chuckle every time. I should have listened to his advice.
So we all know that since I’ve blogged about this wondrous event Kendall will wake 4 or 5 times tonight, just to prove it was a fluke. Annnnnd… right on cue, like a scene from a movie, I hear him crying right now – 1 hour earlier than his usual first nighttime feeding, and this is actually the second feeding of the night already because he woke at 9:30. Yeah… it’s going to be a long night. Damn. I knew I shouldn’t have blogged about this. I’m off.
Kendall is 6 and a half months old