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Baby Rabies

pregnancy & parenting

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      December 13, 2018

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      December 6, 2018

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      November 27, 2018

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      November 19, 2018

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      December 19, 2018

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      August 22, 2018

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road trip

ParenthoodReviews

Crappy Pictures

by Jill April 3, 2013
written by Jill

Just got back from our annual road trip to St. Louis to visit family. If you’re imagining me typing this from a sea of unpacked luggage, un-showered, while eating leftover Easter candy, I’d say you have a crystal ball into my reality right now. Please also note the beads of sweat forming on my forehead from the stress of all the to-dos I must catch up on.

I wish I had pretty pictures to show you of our perfectly coordinated family, freshly dressed in our navy blue, pink and white Easter outfits, but the day was such an ass kicking that all I have to show for it are these “crappy” pictures. (Okay, maybe not actually crappy, I like them, but keep reading and you’ll get it. And if I had any pictures of me in them, my “B face” would steal the show.)


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Kendall, partially covered in mud (though he was, indeed, fully covered in mud by the end of the day) after a game of football with the cousins in great-grandma’s back yard.

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Leyna, napping peacefully… for about 20 minutes, which is at least 1 hour and 40 minutes less than she usually naps. So you can imagine how “peaceful” she was the rest of the day.

Now, I’m not all that fantastic at math anymore. I think I was at one time before the Google, but now I’m very bad. This equation is very easy for me to figure out, though. When it comes to children, the amount they sleep is inversely proportional to the amount of candy they consume.

Despite the long drive, and all the candy, and all the no sleeping, and all the mud, it wasn’t a bad trip. We had a great time visiting family, and the actual driving portion was far more bearable this year. The kids watched Wreck It Ralph on repeat (and then Kendall called a truck driver at a gas station a hobo… so, thanks for that, Wreck It Ralph), and I read some great books, including the entirety of Parenting: Illustrated With Crappy Pictures.

CrappyPictures

So. Much. Funny.

Amber is a friend of mine, and author of the blog Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures, or just the Crappy Pictures blog. I’ve “known” her (in the internet sense) for a long time, and I’m so super happy for her!

You may remember she Crappy Pictured one of my blog posts last year. I will cherish it always!

But seriously, even if I hated the girl, I would not be able to stop myself from telling you all about how amazing this book is, and how much you need this hilarity in your life. And once you have it in your life, you’re going to want to buy all your friends a copy because it is like looking at crappy pictures of every parent’s life. Relatable like whoa.

And I know that, as parents, sometimes the last thing we have time to do is read an actual book. I mean, yeah, we’ll spend just as much time scrolling Facebook and blogs on our phones, but turning actual paper pages? That shit takes work, yo! Paper is heavy! But, it’s a super fast, super easy read because SO MANY CRAPPY PICTURES!

Want to win a copy? Cool! Just enter using the Rafflecopter widget below.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Can’t wait/risk winning it? You can buy it on Amazon right now.Worth it, 100%.

April 3, 2013 147 comments
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The StoryToddlers

Clawing My Way Back Up

by Jill April 11, 2012
written by Jill

Oh, hey!

Still here.

Back from “vacation,” and by “vacation” I mean road trip from hell with brief moments of lovely family time, peppered by toddler terror and anxiety on blast from lack of sleep and too much screaming in my ear.

If I’m not making any sense to you right now it’s because I’m not making sense to myself, and thus, that would make sense, right?

Easter was fun. I took pretty pictures.

Oklahoma is a nutritional wasteland (but I’ve discussed this before). We had a picnic in our Jeep in the parking lot of an Oklahoma Walmart, consisting of cold cuts and crackers and peaches…obviously.

I would suck as a pioneer and traveling in covered wagons and shit. I was whiny that we couldn’t reach the DVD player from the front to re-start the movie for Kendall and that there was no way to plug a TV in front of our POSESSED 15 month old.  I started googling, from my phone, new cars that have wi-fi hot spots built in because my small phone was getting really annoying and I wanted a real keyboard. (This would be where you picture me stomping my feet like Veruca from Willy Wonka.)

Someone asked me to blog tips for road trips, to which I suggest:

1. Don’t go on road trips
2. Rot the children’s brains with TV and video games… they are easier to deal with in a comatose state
3. Don’t forget to pack your own food… and sneak some liquor in there for the lucky soul who’s not driving and therefore on WHERE IS THE EVER LOVING PACIFIER, SO HELP ME, IF YOU THROW IT ONE MORE FUCKING TIME duty by default.
4. Don’t go on road trips with teething toddlers
5. Bring lots of pacifiers
6. Don’t ask me for road trip advice

And now I get to try to claw my way back to some sort of normal… so please forgive the disruption around here for a bit.

Feel free to discuss amongst yourselves how great or not so great your weekend was. I can’t promise I’ll be a part of the convo because the things to do, there are many of them.

April 11, 2012 16 comments
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Toddlers

Inner Smug 24 Year Old Weeps While Toddler Mayhem Ensues

by Jill October 19, 2011
written by Jill

I saw this ad come across my Facebook feed this morning, and it couldn’t have been at a more appropriate time.

Remember how I told you all about how we used to meticulously care for our vehicles? How they were so shiny and clean, and how we so harshly judged parents who went rolling around town with a Goldfish cracker graveyard and sippy-cup asylum in their back seats?

Smug 24 year old vows to keep brand new, shiny Jeep shiny and fresh-smelling forever and ever.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

We just returned home from our road trip to Columbia and St. Louis, MO, and our Jeep… has seen better days. While this is a shade more extreme than the general state of things when we’re driving day to day, this is pretty standard for how things look after 15 hours of family fun on the road.

Yes, we give him gummy worms and “coffee” (chocolate milk) to quiet him while he watches endless DVDs. Do not judge. 15 hours is a REALLY FREAKING LONG TIME.

We aren’t sure what these mystery substances on his door and window are. Honestly, we don’t want to know.

I used to really take care to keep his car seat clean, washing the cover about once a month. Now I just take care to make sure there’s nothing that will mold or curdle left in the cup holders.

Toddler mayhem, it lives.

Kendall is 3.5 years old and Leyna is 9.5 months old. Can’t wait to see the level of destruction once she starts partaking in the sippy-cup tossing events.

October 19, 2011 18 comments
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BabiesThe Story

My Baby Is Crying It Out In The Car

by Jill April 20, 2011
written by Jill

Because apparently 10 hours in a car is her cut off. Her “good baby” well has run dry. We’ve been road-tripping it all day and we have to press on if we are to get there before midnight.

She’s not going to take it. NO, she’s not going to take it. She’s not going to take it anymore.

She’s fed, she’s clean, she’s exhausted. She actually fell soundly asleep after dinner, just in time for my Party Like A Kid contributors conference call, only to wake, screaming at the sound of my voice trying to carry on a conversation with Mae like I’m NOT attempting to discuss business from a car full of unhappy children and the “wiggle, wiggle” song on in the background.

We pulled off to feed her again, check her diaper again, snuggle, cuddle, kisses. But we cant stay the night at a seedy truck stop. And so she’s still crying.

And this is why brief stints of crying for things like sleep training (at an appropriate age) don’t bother me. There are times in my babies lives that they are just going to have to cry. It doesn’t mean I don’t love them or that I’m not RIGHT HERE. Both my kids have cried for far longer in the backseat of a car then Kendall ever did when we did modified Ferber (sleep training) when he was 6 months old.

Annnnd… Now she sleeps. Shhhhhhh.

April 20, 2011 8 comments
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