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Baby Rabies

pregnancy & parenting

  • Start Here
    • About Baby Rabies
    • Baby Registry Top Picks
    • Favorite Pregnancy Apps
  • The Book
  • Pregnancy
    • Birth Stories
    • Perinatal Mood Disorders
  • Parenthood
    • Babies
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    • Parenting LOLZ
  • Photography
    • Photography

      6 Stunning Photos You Would Never Guess Were…

      February 11, 2019

      Photography

      Simple Tips For Editing Snow Photos On Your…

      December 13, 2018

      Photography

      I Wrote A Photography eBook And This Is…

      December 6, 2018

      Photography

      Creative Lighting Ideas To Help You Take Great…

      November 27, 2018

      Photography

      Learn How To Take And Edit Photos On…

      November 19, 2018

  • Reviews
    • Reviews

      The Answer To Last Minute Holiday Gifting For…

      December 19, 2018

      Reviews

      I Was Never A Barbie Girl Until Now

      October 1, 2018

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      Finally! Jeans For My Jean-Averse Kids!

      August 22, 2018

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      August 13, 2018

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morning sickness

PregnancyThe Story

Hold Me. I’m Scared Of This Baby.

by Jill January 25, 2013
written by Jill

This baby is trying to break me. It’s testing me.

I’m in the 2nd trimester- the  honeymoon trimester- and it’s laughing in my face. This pregnancy has been the hardest of the 3 in terms of how I feel. Granted, kicking things off at 9 weeks with full blown flu certainly didn’t help, but it feels like I’ve been dealing with some form of blerg and gag ever since.

There was a brief window last week when I thought, “BEHOLD! The 2nd trimester is nigh! And it is good!” And then this week happened. Headaches, indigestion, aches, pains, and YAY the food aversions are baaaAAACK.

This baby has made me hate nearly everything I once loved.

Coffee? Hate.
Wine? Disgusts.
Chocolate? Wretch.
Any and all food? So much hate.
Husband? There are moments of strong loathing.
Pets? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU STINK.

Hell, even by the end of this I’m sure I’ll be hating sleep, my most favorite thing of all.

The only thing it hasn’t made me hate are my other children (though be sure my temper is much shorter with them at times). I think this has to do with all 3 being born of the same womb lined in evil powers… that they can’t use against each other.

Instead, the 3rd will get here, and it will be like the trifecta of evil doom is complete, and they’ll form some sort of jungle animal when they all roll together and shoot me with their laser beams.

I am very scared.

January 25, 2013 20 comments
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PregnancyThe Story

Breaking Up With Pinterest

by Jill January 3, 2013
written by Jill

Because food and I have a really tempestuous relationship right now, and Pinterest isn’t being very sensitive about all that.

I mean, I just saw a picture of RAW HAMBURGER MEAT next to a picture of a BLOODY NOSE. I will cut you, Pinterest.

Right after I puke on you.

Even the sight of cooked chicken sets me over the edge sometimes, and if I have to look at one more photoshoped “thinspiration” picture of a girl and all her freaking ribs showing, I’m going to roundhouse kick a unicorn.

You make me pukey AND ragey, Pinterest. This isn’t healthy. This can’t go on.

 

January 3, 2013 18 comments
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PregnancyThe Story

Jumbled Mess about Sonograms and Potty Training

by Jill May 18, 2010
written by Jill

Just a couple hours out from our first sonogram. I can’t tell if this topsy turvy stomach is morning sickness or nerves, but it’s worse than most mornings, and I’m going to guess that it’s partly due to nerves. I find that odd. I haven’t really been nervous about things going wrong this pregnancy, not nearly as much as I was with Kendall. So I thought maybe I’m just getting better at this whole thing, that it would be less stressful the second time around.

But here I sit, about to toss my Chick Fil A chicken biscuits from the combo of morning sickness and nerves (although the lingering smell of the chicken sausages Scott cooked up for Kendall’s lunch today is NOT helping… and there is a sink of soaking dishes that smells like feet… curse this hypersensitive nose!).

Really, the fact that I have been and am sick and just plain exhausted are good signs. I know. I just want to get in there and have my mind set at ease. I keep having this nightmarish thought that I’m going to go in and they’re going to be like, “Oh, you’re not pregnant. You’re just crazy.” Okay, I thought blogging about this would help, but now I’m just obsessing about it even more, so I need to stop.

In other news, Kendall continues to poop on the potty, like, 3 times a day! The kid has no issues with regularity. A few nights ago, while sitting on the toilet, doing his thing he shouted out, “It stinks!”  I heard it from the kitchen since this time it was Scott’s turn, and when Scott takes him it’s doubly funny to listen in on because he sings his own made up song “Five Green and Speckled Poops” (to the tune of “Five Green and Speckled Frogs”) while Kendall works on squeezing things out. I’m going to have to get the lyrics from him one of these days and share them with you, something about speckled poops and speckled logs. It’s good stuff. When Kendall finishes he gets 2 M&Ms, and I’m telling you guys, M&Ms will save my life. That kid will do anything for an M&M. I ain’t too proud to bribe, yo. So all’s good on the potty training front so far. He doesn’t really pee in the potty, but I am a-ok with changing pee diapers right now.

Alright, that’s enough jibber jabber. I’ve got to go make myself presentable for the OBGYN. Perhaps I should start with a shower. I’ll let you guys know how everything goes. Hope you all had a great weekend!

8 weeks, 6 days pregnant/ Kendall is 2 years old

May 18, 2010 8 comments
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PregnancyThe Story

It’s not you, it’s not even me, IT’S THE BABY.

by Jill May 14, 2010
written by Jill

Dear Husband,

I get the feeling you’re taking this whole food aversion phase a little too personally. Here’s the thing, it’s not about you. It’s not about your food, your cooking. It makes NO SENSE that I don’t even want to see the raw hamburger meat (gag, typing that made me gag) let alone smell it…cooking, I GET THAT. It makes NO SENSE that, though I really wanted Mexican food yesterday, I can’t stand the thought of eating the black bean quesadillas you made tonight and instead REALLY want a bowl of noodles covered in soy sauce. I GET THAT. Can you just be okay with things not making sense right now?

And can you please, oh my God, please just stop suggesting random shit to eat? I have looked in the pantry, I have taken inventory of the refrigerator, I know my options, dear. And the reason why I’m not eating them, ANY of them? They all make me a shade of sick. So please, please stop making me recall this laundry list of various shades of sick by rattling them off to me.

Remember how before I was growing your baby I used to be able to feed myself? Hell, you would leave me for 2 weeks at a time for business trips and I managed to feed your son and myself the whole time. We were both well fed when you got home. The thing is – I CAN STILL DO THAT. I know you want to do your part, and stuff. I know you want to take some sort of active role in the growth and development of this fetus, and I know that means you take pride in feeding me. I promise I will give you all the opportunities to do just that as soon as the second trimester starts.

Until then, this is the rule. I will feed myself what I want when I want. I am politely declining any help from you for the time being. It’s not you, it’s not even me, IT’S THE BABY. Blame the fetus.

Love,
Your wife who is SO happy she was able to eat pad thai tonight instead of those bean quesadillas

8.5 weeks pregnant

Halfway through this post I laughed and remembered a very similar one I wrote around the same time during my pregnancy with Kendall, though that letter directly took issue with my finicky fetus.

May 14, 2010 8 comments
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PregnancyThe Story

Food: The enemy

by Jill September 30, 2007
written by Jill

**Warning!  If you are currently in the bowels of morning sickness hell, please proceed with caution.

I’ve been wanting to blog these stories for weeks now, but due to the nature of what I wanted to type, and therefore had to give much thought to, I had to hold out until food, the alien baby, and I called a truce.  It’s been a rough few weeks, and the battle has been long and incessant, inducing many a dry heave and countless belches….belches from the bottom of my toes that teenage boys would lust over…belches that have erased any ounce of my feminine mystique in my husband’s eyes.  I am no longer the relatively polite priss he fell in love with.  I can belch on command, and am not about to hold it in…even if that means we just finished dinner at a fancy restaurant.  In fact, I usually follow up this end of dinner belch with unzipping my pants as far as I can while sitting at the table.  Sometimes I remember to strategically place my napkin over my open fly…sometimes I don’t.  It is almost a guarantee that IF I have pants on after 6 that do not have an elastic waist while hanging out at home, I will be walking around with them completely unbuttoned and unzipped, folded underneath my college freshman beergut.

The belching is still here, not as bad, but that just means it’s only every 5 minutes versus every 2 minutes.  I guess I’m lucky though because I’ve only really puked once (stay tuned for that story further in this post).  Apparently, morning sickness for some women is just belching, and I guess I’m one of them.  However, I have to say it took me a few weeks of running to the bathroom every time I belched to realize that most likely nothing was coming back up.  But enough about belching….let’s talk about food.

I was fully prepared for all kinds of morning sickness before I ever got pregnant.  I was mentally preparing myself to puke like a seasick puppy.  What I was NOT expecting was my complete disgust for any and all food!  Ahh…food aversions.  For a good two to three weeks almost all I did was munch on crackers and sip water and choke down the occasional ginger ale.  My husband would try and try to suggest good food for me to eat.  Bless his heart, he wanted me to eat HEALTHY food!  He was worried the baby wasn’t getting enough leafy greens and protein.  HA!  He’s lucky that baby got any nourishment at all!

Now, everyday there would always be an hour or two when the clouds of food aversion would part and, BAM, it would hit me….the only thing in the entire WORLD that sounded good enough to eat…and I had to have it NOW.  God only knows how long it would sound good for.  It made for a desperate situation nearly every day.  The worst part is, most of the time this would happen between 10 p.m. and 4 a.m.  Folks, I do not live in the city that never sleeps.  Most places close their doors promptly at nine around here…except for the all night grocery store.  However, the problem with that was even if it sounded good enough to eat, it did not sound good to make.  Having to prepare the food completely negated my desire to eat it.

One of these desperate situations happened when I suddenly got the urge to scarf down a baked potato with cheese, butter and a little sour cream.  Where could I get such a delightful meal in a hurry at 10 p.m.??  Wendy’s!!  I jumped in the car and raced over. I even got brave enough to order a Frosty while I was there.  I was so ready to tear into this culinary delight when I got home that I barely made it to the kitchen before I pulled it out of the bag and audibly gasped when I saw that they had ruined my dinner by pouring their runny nacho cheese all over it!!!  NOOOOOOOO!! I wanted sprinkly cheddar cheese!  Who the hell puts nacho cheese on a baked potato?  I swear, I had one months ago that had sprinkly cheese on it.  To make matters worse, my Frosty was the consistency of icy chocolate milk…there was nothing “frosty” about it, and it only had to survive a 10 minute drive home.  This sent me into a mini-meltdown.  I was crying over Wendy’s…and I was still hungry.  My husband was baffled, speechless, and trying not to laugh his ass off at me.  The happy ending to this story is my husband driving me back across town to the late night diner, after wiping my tears and coming to grip with reality, to pick up an order of loaded mashed potatoes, smothered in butter, cheese and bacon bits.   It was no baked potato, but it would do.

The only other story that I will share in this post that is turning out to be much longer than I intended is my McDonald’s story because I feel it is a much needed Public Service Announcement for all pregnant and soon to be pregnant women.

One day, after a three day battle with food that left me lightheaded and sick of the sight of the saltine box, I became incredibly hungry for a McDonald’s cheeseburger.  Generally, I don’t even like McDonald’s (well, except for the fries), but on this day it sounded like gourmet fare.  And since I had hardly eaten anything for days, I was more than happy to indulge this craving.  I left for McDonald’s with the intention of only getting the cheeseburger, but upon arriving, I decided I should get some fries and chicken nuggets while I was there, too, since they also sounded yummy.  The plan was to take all three home, taste each and see what I wanted the most then pass the rest off to my husband and dogs.

Flash forward to ten minutes after I got home…everything was in my belly.  I demolished a McNuggets Meal and an extra cheeseburger like I was in an eating competition.  As soon as I polished off that last fry and stood up, I knew it was going to be a long night.  The belching came quickly since I had also guzzled the whole soda and progressed into dry heaves.  I knew it.  THIS was going to lead to throwing up.  My belly was so full that I felt like Templeton, the rat from Charlotte’s Web, after over indulging at the fair. The puking came at the end of a HUGE belch/dry heave, and while I hated puking at all, I was disappointed there wasn’t more.

I ended the evening sitting in front of the toilet, chugging water and shoving my hand down my throat in intervals, trying to get the rest of it back up.  My efforts only produced an extremely full bladder, a bad taste in my mouth, and the realization that that toilet will never be clean enough. Lesson to be learned – NEVER binge eat fast food while pregnant if all you’ve managed to choke down for days is a package of crackers.

For the time being, it seems that the alien baby is allowing food and I to rediscover our love for each other.  But every now and then, the baby will remind me who’s boss and I will be completely disgusted by a certain smell or sight of different foods.  At this point, though, I’m happy to say I’m craving more than I’m disgusted by.

(9 weeks 5 days pregnant)

September 30, 2007 4 comments
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Popular PostsPregnancyThe Story

Tums, sweet tums…Why have I doubted you?

by Jill September 16, 2007
written by Jill

Mmmmph…I type this as I crunch on one of my first handfuls of Tums EVER…in my life.  They are delightful, a little chalky, but chalky is GOOOOOOD right now.  I can guarantee you this is a direct result of the alien baby.  If I were not pregnant, I would be totally disgusted by the thought of Tums. The look, the smell, the texture have never, ever appealed to me.  My husband has been popping them as long as I’ve known him for his terrible heartburn, but I could never understand his love for them.  That is until just a few minutes ago!

This comes at the end of a day full of morning sickness (which, by the way, lasts allllllllllll f-ing day long, and is more appropriately termed every five minutes for the rest of the foreseeable future sickness) with an intensity that I have not yet experienced.  I have gone so far as to avoid phone calls from friends today because the thought of having a conversation that required more than one word answers from me made me envision myself carrying on from the inside of the toilet bowl.  I’ve choked down more water than a human not trying to drown themselves should be allowed, munched on small bland meals that are supposed to help, but nothing has alleviated this horrible feeling of my stomach trying to take up permanent residence in my throat.

As I was washing my face to get ready for bed, I saw the Tums bottle out of the corner of my eye.  Now, my rational side would tell me that this image should make me wretch since I am generally disgusted by Tums, much like I am disgusted by the sight of used cat litter.  However, while I am still disgusted by the cat litter ….so far, who knows what the alien baby will want next (and that would be a JOKE for those of you who take me too seriously), seeing the Tums made me feel like God himself had sent the angels down to sing Hallelujah as I suddenly saw this plastic bottle full of multicolored tablets in a new light.  I was drawn to them, and cautiously put two in my mouth.  Holy mother of all things good in this world, they were amazing!!!  In fact, I have not stopped munching on them throughout this entire post.  The bottle, which was brand new to begin with, is only 2/3 full now.

I am soooo excited about my new love affair! Of course, I’m very aware that this love could be only a quick flash fire instead of a long burning flame.  If there is one thing I’ve learned in the last month it’s that pregnancy makes you feel different every single day, and you can never count on liking the same thing from one day to the next, but for tonight….I’m going to bed with my new lover, sweet Tums, and I’m very happy.

September 16, 2007 2 comments
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