Baby Rabies
  • Start Here
    • About Baby Rabies
    • Baby Registry Top Picks
    • Favorite Pregnancy Apps
  • The Book
  • Pregnancy
    • Birth Stories
    • Perinatal Mood Disorders
  • Parenthood
    • Babies
    • Toddlers
    • School Age Kids
    • Parenting LOLZ
  • Photography
    • Photography

      6 Stunning Photos You Would Never Guess Were…

      February 11, 2019

      Photography

      Simple Tips For Editing Snow Photos On Your…

      December 13, 2018

      Photography

      I Wrote A Photography eBook And This Is…

      December 6, 2018

      Photography

      Creative Lighting Ideas To Help You Take Great…

      November 27, 2018

      Photography

      Learn How To Take And Edit Photos On…

      November 19, 2018

  • Reviews
    • Reviews

      The Answer To Last Minute Holiday Gifting For…

      December 19, 2018

      Reviews

      I Was Never A Barbie Girl Until Now

      October 1, 2018

      Reviews

      Finally! Jeans For My Jean-Averse Kids!

      August 22, 2018

      Reviews

      If Your Kid Loves Dump Trucks & Garbage…

      August 13, 2018

      Reviews

      Nobody Tell My Kids ABC Mouse Is Part…

      September 4, 2017

  • Subscribe

Baby Rabies

pregnancy & parenting

  • Start Here
    • About Baby Rabies
    • Baby Registry Top Picks
    • Favorite Pregnancy Apps
  • The Book
  • Pregnancy
    • Birth Stories
    • Perinatal Mood Disorders
  • Parenthood
    • Babies
    • Toddlers
    • School Age Kids
    • Parenting LOLZ
  • Photography
    • Photography

      6 Stunning Photos You Would Never Guess Were…

      February 11, 2019

      Photography

      Simple Tips For Editing Snow Photos On Your…

      December 13, 2018

      Photography

      I Wrote A Photography eBook And This Is…

      December 6, 2018

      Photography

      Creative Lighting Ideas To Help You Take Great…

      November 27, 2018

      Photography

      Learn How To Take And Edit Photos On…

      November 19, 2018

  • Reviews
    • Reviews

      The Answer To Last Minute Holiday Gifting For…

      December 19, 2018

      Reviews

      I Was Never A Barbie Girl Until Now

      October 1, 2018

      Reviews

      Finally! Jeans For My Jean-Averse Kids!

      August 22, 2018

      Reviews

      If Your Kid Loves Dump Trucks & Garbage…

      August 13, 2018

      Reviews

      Nobody Tell My Kids ABC Mouse Is Part…

      September 4, 2017

  • Subscribe

last pregnancy

On Knowing That I’m Done Having Babies
BabiesPregnancy

On Knowing That I’m Done Having Babies

by Jill December 1, 2016
written by Jill

So many people said to me, “You’ll just know. You’ll know when your family is complete.” And the last time I was pregnant, I was willing myself to know, but it never felt final.

I mean, of course, I said I was done because, well, 3 was the plan. That was the agreed upon number, that’s what I had envisioned and committed to. My brain was on board with 3, my heart was not.

I spent so much of my last pregnancy feeling like I wasn’t cherishing it enough. There was sadness that it was my “last time.”

I will say, though, there was not much sadness while I was in labor. I was gleeful that I’d never have to go through that again. “NEVER. FUCKING. DOING. THIS. AGAIN.” Very certain I shouted that more than a few times.

And yet, here I am, doing it again.

screen-shot-2016-12-01-at-8-05-35-pm

Look at those CHEEEEEEEKSS! Had an ultrasound today just to check in on him. He’s, um, looking pretty big. 

And yes, this was a total surprise. I had opened up to the idea of a 4th when Lowell was about 6 months old, but the plan always was to have a 4th much further down the road. I think people refer to this idea as the “bonus baby.” I was really thinking I wouldn’t have another until Lowell was going into kindergarten.

The timing of this baby was not in the plans, but the 4th baby was… eventually.

But this? For real, this is the last one. And I know this. I KNOW it and I FEEL it, and I’m totally at peace with it. I feel zero guilt about this being the last time I experience pregnancy, and no pressure to cherish this. Nope. Let’s close this chapter.

A photo posted by Jill Krause (@babyrabies) on Nov 29, 2016 at 6:22pm PST

Have I told you I think this kid cracked one of my ribs? Yeah, I’m kinda in a lot of pain sitting up trying to type this. BYE FOREVER, PREGNANCY.

And then, let’s close that labor and delivery chapter, and then let’s close that first 8 weeks chapter. THEN, maybe, I’ll start to feel sad about the “last time.” It’s really the last time, though.

We finally know it.

December 1, 2016 9 comments
0 FacebookPinterestWhatsappEmail
Suddenly It’s The End Of This Pregnancy
PregnancyThe Story

Suddenly It’s The End Of This Pregnancy

by Jill July 16, 2013
written by Jill

Wait… not like THE END THE LAST DAY HAVING THE BABY RIGHT NOW. Not trying to alarm anyone. The baby is still tucked away up in my uterus. I show no signs of labor at the moment. But I’m nearly 39 weeks pregnant, which seems WAY more pregnant than nearly 38 weeks did a week ago.

38weekbump

I still haven’t grasped the idea that I’m having another baby very, very soon. It’s like I was never able to shake off this fog of disbelief for the entirety of this surprise pregnancy. I’m semi prepared, I guess, in that I have been there before- twice- so what more do I need to know? But also very, very unprepared.

I thought I was going into real labor a couple nights ago when a 5 hour stretch of painful contractions kept me from sleeping. I sat in my tub at 4:30 in the morning and begged them to stop. I pleaded with them to give me more time. I promised I’d get my shit together the very next day if they went away, but then I needed to sleep that entire day. And then I needed to take a 4 hour nap today. Sometimes I think the only way I’m preparing for this baby is by sleeping at inconvenient times.

PregnantBath

On the bright side, my toe is healing. It still hurts a little when I walk. And it hurts A LOT when my toddler stomps on it mid-tantrum. But, at least I can walk on it now.

As “over it” as I am right now, I don’t want this baby to come any sooner than next Monday. It’s a long story, but the short of it is our childcare situation for Kendall and Leyna won’t be solid until then.  I think that’s what’s causing me the most anxiety right now.

I just really don’t want to go into labor and have to stress about which friend is home and awake and can watch the kids for however long it takes for me to have this baby, and then Scott having to leave me at the hospital to go home to them. Of course, it’s not a huge problem in the grand scheme of things, and we’ll be fine. I’d just much rather have my sister here to abandon the children with from the start.

RealTalk

This is my “over it” face, sporting a bump that itches every time I pull a shirt down over it, and surrounded by a messy house because I’m too tired to care.

So that’s where I’m at. An update. I realize I’ve been super crappy about doing those here. On the blog. I’ve been complaining and updating plenty on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. But if you don’t check in over there, you may have been wondering …. or not.

July 16, 2013 25 comments
0 FacebookPinterestWhatsappEmail
PregnancyThe Story

HOW Do I “Enjoy” My Last Pregnancy?

by Jill July 3, 2013
written by Jill

Things have been quiet around here. There are dust bunnies hiding between my sidebar ads. I think a tumbleweed just blew across my header and over my extremely out of date headshot.

People, I. AM. TIRED. And overwhelmed, and I’m running up against a deadline that is coming faster than that asteroid that Aerosmith had to shoot rockets at to save the earth while Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler made out… or something like that. The 90s were a long time ago.

I’m 1 day shy of 37 weeks pregnant with what I intend to be my LAST pregnancy. The next 3 weeks will feel like they crawl by and cease to exist all at the same time. I’ll blink, and a 3rd baby will be in my arms while my midwife stitches up whatever tears down there (which, btw, could be a giant vaginal cyst that could possibly rupture while I’m pushing… WHEEEE SO MUCH TMI AND HORRIFIC IMAGES FOR YOU!).

In the last 2 weeks, I’ve had to switch to a new midwife and a new hospital because my midwife was forced to resign. It’s not really my place to give more details than that. Just know that the decision left me angry and uncomfortable with the situation I was left with. So I got out of there. I was proactive, and at 36 weeks, I found a new practice.

In the meantime, Scott traveled nearly non-stop over the last month in an effort to pack everything in before baby comes. And the kids weren’t in summer school for a good portion of that.

My inbox is sitting at 482, and about 250 of those actually deserve/are expecting actual responses from me. Not just crappy spam pitches that I can delete.

I sit at my desk for 45 minutes, and I’m ready to go curl up in my recliner (yes, I got one!) and take a nap because the sitting upright is hard.

I intended to “enjoy” this pregnancy, to really soak it in. If this is my last, I know that I’ll, strangely, miss this when the misery is behind me. I’ll miss the sweet moments that I still manage to enjoy now. I’ll miss the freedom of walking around with my belly falling out of my pants. I’ll miss the little baby kicks. I’ll miss the great skin and hair.

Screen Shot 2013-07-03 at 1.54.06 PM

I just can’t figure out HOW, at this point, to savor this. HOW am I supposed to “enjoy” this? I feel terribly pressured to document it in some way, to really do something that I’ll be glad I did 3 years from now when I am a little sad that I won’t experience it anymore.

BUT WHAT IS THAT? And how do I manage to do that in the next 3 weeks while still managing to catch up with work and take care of the 2 kids I already have? Serious question.

July 3, 2013 19 comments
0 FacebookPinterestWhatsappEmail

@babyrabies

Instagram did not return a 200.

Buy Jill’s Book

50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide

Up Your Phone Photography

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

©2019 | BabyRabies.com


Back To Top