When I was pregnant with both Kendall and Leyna, I never really felt that excitement and anticipation leading up to having them. Nope. Mostly I spent the entirety of my pregnancies with them scared out of my freaking mind.
It caused much guilt for me. I felt bad that I wasn’t giddy thinking about those fresh little bundles being placed into my arms. STAY IN. NOT READY. That’s where my head was.
This time around, I’m surprised to feel genuine happiness about this baby’s arrival. I’m looking forward to kicking labor in the ass. This is a very new feeling.
I don’t know what it is, if I’m not remembering being this uncomfortable previously, or if this pregnancy actually is so much worse than the last two. Either way, I AM SO UNCOMFORTABLE. I’m irritable. I’m ragey. I don’t want anyone touching me. At. All.
The aversion to being touched is a big thing right now. Leyna is still a snuggle bug, and it’s all I can do to let her curl up next to me and twirl my hair around her fingers. I’m so touched out by the kids by the end of the day that my annoyance level with Scott merely brushing his feet against me when we sleep makes me want to scream. I’m sure you can imagine all the super fun implications of that scenario.
Yeah… Scott’s ready for this baby to get out of me, too.
The heartburn is out of control, even on 2 doses of Zantac a day and a healthy serving of Tums (and hands full of almonds, and lots of other natural remedies). The insomnia is making me worthless. The Pica is annoying as hell. I’m choking down iron as much as possible, keeping up with my prenatals. Still it persists.
The worst lately has been this feeling of bugs crawling all over my skin, and little twitches through my body, like tiny electric currents, just as I start to get sleepy. I lay in bed at night, scratching, tossing, turning… sometimes crying out of frustration. I wake up choking on my own stomach acid. I never feel refreshed in the mornings, more like hungover.
And I have at least 7.5 weeks left. With my track record of carrying babies 4 days past my due date, I’m looking at at least 8 weeks. OF COURSE I don’t actually want the baby to come out right now. I know the baby needs to bake for a long, long while, and I’m not taking drastic measures to shorten that.
But, for the first time in 3 pregnancies, I’m just really dang excited to have this kid. Scared of parenting 3? Nah. Bring it.