For that second before the balls dropped, I thought, “It has to be a girl. I’ve only ever felt girl. I’ve only ever dreamt girl. Leyna wants a girl so bad…. OMG it’s going to be a boy.”
I saw my sister’s face as she came downstairs, after handing our neighbor – who was perched above on our 2nd story – the correct color ping pong balls (that Scott spray painted the night before). He face said boy to me, but then it said girl.
And as that first ball dropped…
I didn’t want to look, I held my breath, waiting to hear the others’ responses.
When it finally registered- “Blue! Boy! Of course!” there was joy. There really was. Two little boys, 3.5 years apart. Close enough in age to share a room and other life experiences.
But after the balls all dropped, and we came down from the thrill of it all, I saw Leyna’s face drop.
“But I really wanted a girl. And you are done growing babies, and I will never get a little girl baby now.”
There was some genuine sadness. Having grown up with a sister, and being as close with her as I am now, it breaks my heart that Leyna won’t experience that bond. I came to terms with that after I had Lowell, back when we thought we were done. We are FOR SURE done now, though, and once again, no little sister.
Total honesty- I was hoping for a girl, willing it to be a girl. I was also sad it was not for that brief moment.
I scooped her onto my lap, we sat at the bottom of the stairs, and I told her it was okay to be sad. I reminded her how special it will be to be the only girls in the family, how we’ll get to take more mommy & Leyna trips, like when we went to Disneyland.
And then I promised her a puppy- a girl puppy, a tiny one, that she could name Rosie. I PROMISED HER A PUPPY. I couldn’t even stop the words from coming out of my mouth. And then I took her to get her nails done.
The thing is, she’ll be fine. I know this, we know this. She’ll be great, actually. But, I wasn’t expecting for it to sting so much when people replied to the news with “Oh, poor Leyna!” I mean, it’s obviously hypocritical of me to get upset with that sentiment because I felt “POOR LEYNA!” so much that I. PROMISED. HER. A. PUPPY.
The news is settling in today. I’m truly excited. Lowell and the baby will share a room once the baby is sleeping through the night. Until then, he’ll have a nursery set up in our Texas-sized master bedroom. I still get to buy a ton of new clothes because both Lowell and Kendall were warm weather newborns.
And Leyna? Welp, we’ve already spent quite a bit of time on Petfinder.
Also, speaking of sisters, my sister Kelly is co-owner Flipside Experience in Austin, TX. It’s an experiential marketing firm, and they do cool stuff like make flipbooks and slow-mo videos and GIFs. So she hauled her equipment up to Dallas, and made this for us.
We never did any kind of elaborate gender reveal for the three others, but since at least Kendall and Leyna are old enough to have fun with this, we thought it would be cool for all 5 of us to find out at the same time. Having this GIF is such a treasure. Here’s another view (press play):