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We’ve Still Got A Lot Of Fight Left- For My Fellow Warrior Moms
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We’ve Still Got A Lot Of Fight Left- For My Fellow Warrior Moms

by Jill
written by Jill

It’s June. It’s almost halfway through June! And I feel terrible that I’m just now writing about this, organizing, this, ASKING YOUR HELP for this.

See, I was going to get together a giveaway of some kind, where anyone who donates money to help me support Postpartum Progress– the organization that has helped me, changed me, saved me as I’ve struggled with postpartum anxiety and OCD- would be entered to win cool prizes.

But part of my self-care plan has been saying NO to a lot of things, and stepping away when I feel overwhelmed. So I am stepping away from the idea that I’m finally going to pull off that big, grand giveaway. The one I was sure would help me raise over $500 for Postpartum Progress’ Climb Out Of The Darkness campaign by June 20th. 

I’m simply asking you- YOU- and you, and any of you, all of you? Whoever of you can spare $5 or $25 or more. I’m asking you to just simply donate to my fundraising efforts.

Not because I have jazzy strollers to giveaway or fancy handbags, but because this means SO much to me.

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My postpartum anxiety peaked after I had my 2nd baby- Leyna. Here we are, in the thick of it. A picture I haven’t looked at in years. I remember thinking the answer to everything was to never leave the house again. I truly thought that was an actual solution.

It not only means the world to me because of what I’ve been through (read more here, here, here, here) but because I KNOW so many of you are, have, or will go through it, too.

1 in 7 pregnant & new moms will have a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder.

One in SEVEN, y’all.

I want Postpartum Progress to continue to be the go-to resource for women who are struggling, who are up at 2 am, googling things like “I can’t stop these visions of my child dying,” or “I’m so angry and I don’t know why,” or “Why am I a terrible mother?”

I want their New Mom Checklist to be accessible far and wide, I want their Plain Mama English Symptoms of Postpartum Depression & Anxiety to get seen by as many moms and dads and caregivers as possible. And I want them to continue to grow, to help parents in ways they so desperately want to, but need funds to do so.

My wish is that you’ll crank up your speakers and watch this video. These are women, families, CHILDREN who have already been helped by this immensely valuable organization.

I want you to share it with anyone and everyone. Not so people will donate (though, of course, it would be lovely if they did) but so anyone out there who is in the trenches of postpartum depression, anxiety, ocd or psychosis will have the chance to see that there is a way through this, to hear that we believe in them and in the fight that is left in them. 

And, momma? If that warrior is you? You got this. You do. There is an entire community out here willing and ready to support you and cheer you on.

Of course, I would also love if you’d support my fundraising efforts. You can visit my Crowdrise page here. Thank you a million times for donating, sharing, and supporting however you can. Even if there’s no chance of winning a fancy prize this time.

 

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Childhood Cancer ACTION and a #HelpSam Update
Charitable

Childhood Cancer ACTION and a #HelpSam Update

by Jill
written by Jill

Last September, I read a post shared on Facebook, calling out the empty intentions behind so many “awareness” campaigns. This one was specifically addressing childhood cancer. It’s a pretty powerful read.

It was shared by Cassie Sartin, mom of Sam Sartin- a now healthy, vivacious little boy who was diagnosed with stage 4 Neuroblastoma when he was only 5 months old.

You might recall the tremendous fundraiser so many of you helped me with here over 4 years ago. We raised over $9,000 to #HelpSam.

At the time, Cassie wrote…

I hear people talk about what their kids are doing or what they hope they’ll do or become and I just desperately want him to make it there. Scraped knees, school dances, best friends, hurt feelings, swingsets and playgrounds with big slides, peeing on trees, playing in the dirt… I want him to experience it all. 

Now, 4 years later, she reports…

Sam has been off of treatment for a little over two years now. If you met him for the first time today you would never know that as a baby and toddler his tiny body had been through hell and back. He bounces off the walls, loves learning new things, tests his limits, asserts his independence, and would prefer to constantly be on the go. He can’t wait to start school next year.

(Isn’t that just the best update?! There’s more about Sam at the bottom of this post for those of you who have been interested in how he’s doing.)

When Auntie Anne’s reached out to me about the campaign they are participating in with Alex’s Lemonade Stand (a top notch charity that raises money for childhood cancer research), I jumped at the chance to collaborate, remembering how that blog post resonated with me last year.

Childhood cancer research is still tremendously under-funded. And while kids like Sam are beating it, thousands more are still fighting, like Antonio, who was diagnosed with brain cancer last year.

They all deserve the best shot at a rambunctious childhood, complete with scraped knees and school dances, right?

Antonio_front

Antonio_back

So while spreading awareness is wonderful, and a great way to visibly show our support for all the fighters and survivors, it’s even more important we take action whenever we can.

That’s why I’d like to encourage you, if you are able, to please head over to the The Mighty Fight’s campaign on CrowdTilt.com and donate what you can before September 15th.

$25 funds half an hour of childhood cancer research.

If you can’t take action this way, consider hosting a lemonade stand of your own for Alex’s Lemonade Stand. Cassie also suggests signing up to donate blood or joining the national bone marrow registry at BeTheMatch.org.

I’d like to end this post with more from Cassie on how Sam is these days. 

Sam’s type and stage of cancer has about a 50-60% relapse rate (curesearch.org) so his follow-up care includes labs every month, and scans every three months to make sure he’s still in the clear. Scan time is certainly nerve-wracking, but in the day to day we are just living normal lives, whatever that means.

We had a little bump in the road when his routine scans last December showed that a spot we had been monitoring on his kidney grew larger. After surgery remove the mass it was determined to be renal cell carcinoma, a secondary cancer most likely caused from his neuroblastoma treatment.

Thankfully it had not spread to any other areas of the body, the surgery was the only treatment required. It will just be something we continue to monitor going forward. He does have some other lasting effects from treatment like high frequency hearing loss, but if hearing aids are the price we pay to have our kiddo here, we’ll gladly pay it.

I try not to tell people to “live in the now” or “cherish every second” because a.)Yuck. Cliche. And b.) Of course life and parenting aren’t without their frustrations. You don’t have to drink in every moment. But in the quiet moments, that’s what I do. I give thanks that Sam is here to challenge me and worry me sick and give me hell and grey hairs. He’s still here.

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Babies

Help Me Raise Money For Postpartum Progress, Win Cool Stuff From Joovy

by Jill
written by Jill

I have a confession to make. When I first started blogging, started really getting to know the sphere of parenting bloggers, and got to know other moms on Twitter, I noticed quite a few of them talked about struggles with postpartum depression/anxiety. Like, a fairly high percentage of the women I knew online.

I hate to admit that for a time I thought it was “trendy,” something these women were deciding to blame stress on. God, I really hate typing that out loud. I hate putting that admission out to the public. It’s not that I thought any of them were making things up. I just figured some were trying to latch onto PPD  so they could give their struggles a name. I mean, there were just so many. That couldn’t possibly be true- that they were ALL struggling with some form of postpartum mental disorder.

What I didn’t realize at the time was what a debt I would owe to those women who were speaking out, sharing their struggles and calling them what they REALLY were. I didn’t realize that a few years later, I would be one of them. And a few years after that I would be one of them again. Without them, I would have never recognized myself in this list of Symptoms of Postpartum Depression & Anxiety (In Plain Mama English).

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PPMDs are not “trendy.” You may hear more and more women speaking out about their struggles, but I assure it’s not because it’s a cool club. I thank God for the women who have come before me, who have shared their stories, who continue to put faces to postpartum mental disorders like postpartum depression, anxiety, OCD, and psychosis.

We are talking about them more because they need to be talked about, beyond the sensationalist coverage they get every time a mom harms or kills her children and/or herself. We are talking about them more because we are part of a movement, because we were helped by the women who talked about them before us.

We are all climbing out of this together. We are reaching out to grab the hands of more women with a PPMD than have been reached out to ever before. We are not going to stop talking about them. We’re not going to stop climbing.

This video of Warrior Moms who’ve climbed out before, who are back in the world again, fills my heart with joy! Mothers, we can do this. If you’re struggling, you can climb out. You WILL get the old you back.

A HUGE thanks to David Gray for letting us use his song “Back In The World Again” from his new album Mutineers for this video. It’s. So. Perfect. 

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Now, we need your help…

whether you’ve been personally impacted or not. Do you know and love a mother in your life? Or a woman or girl who may become a mother? Then this is personal to you.

PostpartumProgressFundraiser

Please consider donating to the Postpartum Progress annual Climb Out of the Darkness fundraiser. On June 21st, I’ll be hiking with my family, and reaching out to other local moms who are also climbing out of their own struggles.

My goal is to raise $5,000 to support the cause.

Will you please consider donating $10? Will you “buy” me lunch? Each $10 or more donation enters you into a drawing for one of several awesome prizes, donated by Joovy. They are thrilled to support this community and this cause, and I’m so appreciative.

Here’s what up for grabs:

toofold

 

Joovy Too Fold Stroller– An all-in-one all-terrain stroller valued at $800

spoon

 

Joovy Spoon– A contemporary walker (which Lowell is OBSESSED with) valued at $100

BoobGiftSet

Joovy Boob Gift Set– A bottle set, including nipples and breast pump adapters valued at $130

LooPotty

LooStep

Joovy Loo Potty and StepTool valued at $60 together

To be entered to win these prizes, you must donate through my page here. If you’d like to join my team, you can also do so at this link!

Since donations will be accepted through the 30th, I will announce winners the first week of July. Thank you in advance for any and all support, for any way you can help spread the word, and for all the love and support  y’all have shown me in the past as I’ve written about my battle with postpartum anxiety and intrusive thoughts.

Mostly, thank you to the women who spoke out and climbed out before me, the ones who reached a hand out to me and continue to help me climb out today.

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CharitableInappropriateElf

Even Inappropriate Elves Can Help People

by Jill
written by Jill

The ladies from HaHas for HooHas are really… special. I love them for their humor and talent (and Jen’s mad dance skillz), and am so happy they are helping me pick the top 10 Inappropriate Elves this year because I do NOT want that job all to myself.

They’ve also come up with a couple other ways to celebrate Inappropriate Elf season, starting with these cards and mugs in their Zazzle store that will help those affected by Hurricane Sandy

All the proceeds from the sales of these hilarious cards and mugs (perfect for that special sarcastic someone in your life), will go to a Hurricane Sandy Relief 501 c3 charity.

Buy a mug!
Buy a card!

Tell your friends! Especially the ones who are oh so creeped out by the idea of an Elf that watches and reports on your behavior.

And the HaHas for HooHas girls came through big time on an Inappropriate Elf video trailer. It’s hilarious. My favorite part is the happy ending.

Behold!

Don’t forget, you can enter your very own Inappropriate Elf until December 18th, but voting will start on December 7th. You can read all the rules and details here.

Here are the prizes that are up for grabs!

Click through to see even more Inappropriate Elves!

While we’re on the subject of charitable giving (?) I wanted to plug my friend Gina’s fundraiser. She’s trying to help low-income, urban families get baby carriers from Onya Baby to make life with a baby and public transportation a little easier. I think it’s a fantastic cause. 

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BabiesCharitable

In Austin? You’re Invited to the Pregnancy & Postpartum Health Alliance of Texas Wine Social

by Jill
written by Jill

It’s been almost exactly a year since I broke down and got help for what turned out to be postpartum anxiety.

This time last year, I was in a lonely, scary, dark place. Like a hole I couldn’t find a way out of. I thought I’d be stuck there forever. It really didn’t seem like there would ever be a logical way out.

And I can’t say I’m safe from falling back in again just yet. There are days I dance on the edge, days I lose my footing and barely catch myself from tumbling down again.

There are days I get tired from balancing, from pushing away from it.

But, mostly, I’m a long way from where I was at the bottom of that dark hole last year.

Postpartum Progress’s Katherine Stone was interviewed on CNN recently, and I found it to be such a hopeful message. Postpartum mental health disorders are not forever. You can get help. You can get better. You can live a normal life again. Give it a watch if you need a healthy dose of hope.

One year later, I’m beyond honored to be speaking at the Pregnancy & Postpartum Health Alliance of Texas’ 2nd Annual Wine Tasting Social this Thursday, the 25th in Austin, TX.

I’m still firming up my speech, but I think my message will focus on hope, on overcoming, on how important it is to realize that’s a possibility even when you can’t see out of whatever dark hole you’re in.

If you’re in the Austin area and have some free time this Thursday evening, I would be thrilled if you’d join us. Come have a glass or two of wine with us and support an important cause. Support moms who need help seeing the way out of postpartum mental disorders.

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Charitable

I Tied A Wish In The Wind

by Jill
written by Jill

It started with a walk through a door…

And into a garden at one end of a bridge.

It was shaded with trees, and the sun poked through the holes where the branches intertwined. We set off to the other side, each of us making our own quiet journey. Each of us thinking of our own wish.

I carried mine, balled up in my fist, then unrolled it when I stepped onto land again.

I carefully added it to the thousands of other wishes, fastened under the shelter.

It’s one of many. Similar to some, like the one that simply requests a “Cure.” Different from others, like the one that wants to be a “world-famous dog trainer” when they grow up. The same as all of them in that it’s someone’s sincere wish.

I left it behind in Sevierville, TN, willing it to work it’s magic.

Jamie’s baby girl is scheduled to be born October 15th. She’ll undergo chemo, radiation and a double mastectomy shortly after that.

During a trip to Tennessee last weekend, I had the amazing opportunity to zip line for the first time ever at Foxfire Mountain Adventures. When I heard about the Bridge to Prosperity there, and that people could hang wishes in a covered bridge, I knew in that moment what I would write on my paper to hang in the winds that blow through those mountains. Jamie has been on my mind a lot lately.

If you missed the post where I talk about her diagnosis with advanced breast cancer at 6 months pregnant, please read it here. 

Best for Babes has stepped in to help run a fundraiser to support Jamie AND to help educate medical professionals on early signs of breast cancer in the lactating breast (Jamie, until recently, was breastfeeding her toddler). Our goal is to raise $10,000. There is no amount too small to make a difference. If you’d like to donate, you can do so by going here. It’s tax deductible. 

 

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Charitable

The Miracle Milk Fund for Jamie, A Warrior Mother

by Jill
written by Jill

Click Here to To Donate!

For as much attention as mainstream media likes to give mothers and drama (or “mommy wars”) on the internet, I’m convinced that’s not representative of the majority of interactions between women within this great space.

I know. I’ve witnessed the better side first-hand, countless times. Women and the internet can be the most powerful, inspirational combination. Give us a tool to wrap our virtual arms around each other from every corner of the world, and we can use it to pull each other closer than ever before. We can use it to hold each other up.

We can use it to support a mother who was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer at 6 months pregnant.

And we can use it to change the way the medical community recognizes early stages of breast cancer in lactating women.

Let me back up here for a minute and say that if it seems this is all a bit more than what the original goal of Jamie’s first call for help was, you’re right.  Because we CAN do more. The outpouring of support for Jamie was overwhelming. Within an hour of posting her simple request for donated breastmilk for her soon-to-be-born baby girl, Jamie and I both knew this was something much bigger than that.

HUNDREDS of you commented to say you’d be happy to help, thousands of you shared the story, hundreds of thousands of you read it. 

Enter Best For Babes.

I have massive respect for BfB as an organization. They are making tremendous strides in supporting breastfeeding women and new moms, and they do it without the guilt and judgement.

Bettina Forbes, one of the co-founders of BfB, reached out to me right after the first post of Jamie’s story with a sincere interest in wanting to help in a big way. The other co-founder of BfB, Danielle Rigg, is a breast cancer survivor. Her story is eerily similar to Jamie’s. This story spoke to their hearts.

I’m thrilled to tell you that BfB has set up a way for ALL of us to not only help make sure Jamie and her baby’s needs are met, but to also help Jamie turn her experience into a positive and something that could benefit women from here on out.

(We) offered to set up a cash donation fund through Best for Babes, so that people who wanted to, could donate money to help cover Jamie’s medical costs, or childcare help, or transportation, collection and storage of  donor milk, or whatever is needed to care for her baby and herself, while she recovers from surgery and undergoes more chemo.   By setting up the fund through Best for Babes (a 501(c)(3) non-profit), donors can receive a tax deduction and know that their gift is going directly to help Jamie.

By making a donation to the Miracle Milk(TM) Fund you will also help educate physicians about lactation management, breast care, and cancer warning signs while breastfeeding, so that any abnormalities can be found earlier.

You can read more about what your donations can do, and you can donate by heading to the BestForBabes.org/Miracle-Milk-Fund page here.

While I know so many of you were anxious to pack your breastmilk in dry-ice and ship it across the country,  I urge you to instead use the money you would spend on shipping and donate it to the fund. Then perhaps find a mother locally who could use that extra milk in your freezer.

We are quite confident that Jamie will be able to source all the breastmilk she needs for her baby from women and milk banks near her, but we want to let anyone around the world support her AND this mission, knowing your money is going directly to the cause.

I know I speak for Danielle, Bettina and the entire BfB organization when I say we could not be more proud of this community and of all of you who have expressed wanting to help Jamie and her family in any way possible.

When you give women the power of the internet, sometimes we can change the world. I have no doubt that the Miracle Milk(TM) Fund, powered by Jamie’s tremendous courage to share her story can help us do just that.

Thank you x 1 million.

Oh, and if you’re wanting to check in and see how Jamie’s doing, she started a blog – 22 Weeks And Cancer.  

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Charitable

Still Blown Away (#helpSam)

by Jill
written by Jill

Well, folks, the final emails went out this morning. I’ve officially notified everyone of their prize wins. Check your inboxes and your spam, as it’s possible it will get shuffled there, even though I tried not to make it sound like a “You WON!! IMPORTANT! Message from THE QUEEN!” email from Nigeria. We had over 530 people donate, so many of you will not receive an email from me, but I’m sure knowing all the difference you made in Sam’s life will be prize enough.

The grand total, at this very moment, in the #helpSam account is $9,292! As of Friday night when I shut down entries into the giveaway we were at a little bit over $9,100, and even more donations have rolled in since then.

That means we not only reached our ultimate SUPER DUPER goal of $7,500, but we put more than another $1,500 on top of that!! You all are phenomenal. I tweeted this Friday night, but I’ll say it here again. Thank you. You make me happy to raise my babies in this world.

I also have more FANTASTIC news from Cassie. On Friday, just hours before entries to the giveaway closed, Cassie got a call from her employer regarding her COBRA coverage. It turns out they made a mistake when filing her paper work and she IS eligible for the reduced premium. It will now only cost them a little over $500/month instead of $1,500/month. With the amount we raised, we basically just paid for all the COBRA coverage they will be allowed to utilize. Cassie expressed some guilt that people gave based on the $1,500/month amount, but I reassured her that when Sam gets better and she goes back to work, if she has a surplus of donations left over, she can pass them on to another family facing challenges. Until then, I told her to hang on to it, breathe a sigh of relief, and just focus on taking care of Sam. The money will be there to support them in whatever way they need.

ON TOP OF ALL THAT, I have even better news (from Cassie’s blog):

Sam’s CT results came back today and showed a marked improvement! One tumor near his spine is completely gone! We haven’t gotten the MIBG results back but everyone is very pleased with the CT results! The drugs are doing their job and our prayers are being answered! Praise Jesus!

Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.

A reader posted this poem on my Facebook Fan Page and I wanted to share it with everyone here. It’s one I’m familiar with, but completely forgot until she shared it with me.

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed
a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.

Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?”

The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean.
The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”

“Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish?
You can’t make a difference!”

After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish,
and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said…”
I made a difference for that one.”

No, we didn’t cure cancer with our efforts to #helpSam, but we made a difference, even if just in the life of one boy. Now, what we have to do is keep the momentum going. Take the energy we got from this, the great feeling that came from the huge success of this fundraiser and help more people. It doesn’t have to be anything big. It doesn’t take very much. Lots of small efforts can really add up to something huge.

I encourage you all to keep the giving going. Consider sacrificing another lunch out or a couple coffees next week. I want to introduce you to a blog called Raising Madison (for those who aren’t familiar with the cuteness already). Madison’s mom is raising money for Keegan who has a similarly heartbreaking story. He’s 8 months old and was just diagnosed with Medulloblastoma after having a malignant tumor removed from his brain. You can read his whole story here, as well as make a donation to help his family out. The fundraiser is run very much like the #helpSam fundraiser, with some amazing prizes up for grabs for just a $5 donation. Let’s continue the love and support of #helpSam by #karingforKeegan.

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Charitable

The Heart of Life is Good

by Jill
written by Jill

The last three weeks have been incredible. I’ve been moved to tears by your generosity more times than I can count. What started out as a simple goal- to raise $1,000 for a family whose baby is fighting for his life against cancer– has turned into something so much more. Not only have we KILLED that original goal (at this moment, the #helpSam account has $8,081 in it), but my heart is swollen from all the people who’ve come together to help a family they’ve never met before.

The internet is a powerful vehicle, but it’s only when so many kind-hearted, generous souls behind it come together that it can do such BEAUTIFUL things. I am so proud of this moment, so proud of everyone who did anything to help the cause. Every single donation, every dollar, every tweet, every comment, every little thing added up to something bigger than we could have ever imagined. THANK YOU.

I’m closing entries to the #helpSam giveaway tonight at 10 pm CST, so that still gives us plenty of time to raise more. Remember that all it takes is a $5 donation to be entered to win one of the spectacular prizes our generous sponsors have donated. If you can’t donate today but still want to help, don’t worry. Even though the giveaway portion of the fundraiser will be over, you can still donate to the #helpSam account long after this, for as long as the Sartins need the support.

I leave you with something Alex, Cassie and Sam wanted to share with everyone to express how grateful they are for all your support. Grab a Kleenex or a hankie. You’re going to need it. (Don’t miss the comments and tweets that pop up at the bottom!)

Gratitude from Cassie Sartin on Vimeo.

“No, it won’t all go the way it should, but I know the heart of life is good.”

Thank you for making the heart of life so good.

Go here to donate!

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Charitable

#helpSam Update – SO CLOSE! Need your help!

by Jill
written by Jill

I’m coming at you with another #helpSam update. We are 3 days out from the end of the fundraiser (June 11th), and while we’ve smashed my original $1,000 goal to little tiny pieces that say “fuck you asshole cancer” all over them, we are still not quite to our GRAND FINALE SUPER SPECTACULAR AWESOME goal of $7,500, which would pay for 5 months of COBRA insurance bills the Sartins are facing.

(If this is the first you’re hearing of Sam, please read his story here.)

At this moment, there is $6,868.33 in the #helpSam PayPal account. We are SO CLOSE!! I know we can make it there, but I don’t want to take anything for granted. The truth is, over the last week, the donations have really slowed down. I completely expected that. I mean, we’ve raised a TON of money and so many people have contributed, but let’s not run out of steam yet. I don’t know how else to spread the word beyond my own little circle of influence other than asking you in my circle to please spread the word to yours. Tweet about it, Facebook it, tell your moms group, whatever you can come up with. $5 gets everyone a chance to win one of so many spectacular prizes, but best of all, it gives you a warm fuzzy  feeling, knowing that, in some way, you were able to help a family whose baby, not even a year on this earth yet, is fighting for his life, fighting against cancer.

I leave you with a video of Sam, the fighter. He makes it look so easy.

Waiting Room from Cassie Sartin on Vimeo.

Please go here to see the list of prizes and donate (scroll all the way to the bottom for the donate button). Or just send funds to helpsamfundraiser@gmail.com. Thank you so much to all of you who are spreading the word, thank you to everyone who’s donated. Thank you for all the kind thoughts and prayers. I know Cassie and her family are so appreciative of it all. Thank you for being amazing.

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