first baby

5 Things I Love That I Did With My First Baby
Babies

5 Things I Love That I Did With My First Baby

by Jill
written by Jill

The other day I heard a first-time mom talking about planning her baby’s first birthday party and all the favors she was hand-making, and I was taken right back to my first-born’s first birthday and the alien stuffies I sewed up myself to give the other babies coming to the party.

I could feel the mom-of-4 in me laugh at mom-of-one me, and then I told her to STFU because  you know what? I love that I did that even though I’d probably never have the time or desire to do it again.

So, in that spirit, I thought I’d share 5 things I’m glad I did with my first baby- no shame- even though I wouldn’t go on to do that again for baby #4 (and sometimes #2 & #3). 

  1. I love that I cloth diapered him 100%. I was FULLY committed. He was in cloth diapers nearly his whole diapered life, including nights, potty training, and even when we traveled. I would never be able to commit that fully to cloth diapering the other 3, but damn we saved some crazy money on baby #1 by doing that! And we needed it. Our budget was suuuuuper tight when he was a baby.
  2. I love that I made all of his baby food. It’s important to note here that back then I didn’t have a job. I had this blog, but it was not a business back then and I had a lot more free time. Making his baby food was fun for me. It’s not something I prioritized as my time became more scarce with the other 3, but I’m glad I got to do it when it was fun and I had time for it. 
  3. I love that I took him to Gymboree classes and playgroups weekly. These activities were less about him and more about me, to be totally honest. They gave me a reason to get dressed and get out of the house regularly, and they introduced me to some incredible women I am still friends with to this day. Regular commitments like this became harder to stick to with each baby after him, but I had a solid base of local mom friends by then, and I knew all the words to the Gymboree bubble song. 
  4. I love that I planned him some really incredible birthday parties. We’ve moved away from doing elaborate, themed parties every year, but it was a fun creative outlet for me. I didn’t plan them because I felt like I had to impress anyone. I did it because I enjoyed it. And I’m actually looking forward to doing more for my littles when we get off the road and settled into a community (sans hand-sewn favors). My oldest, though, is pretty much past this stage, and I’m glad I relished it while I could.
  5. I love that our world revolved around him for a couple years. That one-baby life was pretty special, and while I do lament that I wish I had ignored him more, I don’t regret the hours and days he was our only entertainment. I don’t regret the nights we kept him up a little late or the mornings we let him sleep in bed with us. We were much stricter about routines with him than with the other 3, and I think that mostly had to do with us needing to feel in control of this wild and new thing called parenthood. I’m most fond of the memories of when we let those routines fall away for a bit. 

BE EXTRA if you want, first-time parents! There is no shame in cherishing this new role and going all out IF YOU WANT TO. 

Tell me what brought you joy when you had only one baby that you refuse to feel shame about. 

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One Thing I Wish I Realized With My Firstborn
Babies

One Thing I Wish I Realized With My Firstborn

by Jill
written by Jill

I would give anything to go back in time to when we were new parents to our firstborn, and to have the confidence and ease we have now with our fourth baby. If I could find a way to package this, I would gift it to every expecting parent. (Along with a copy of my book, of course.)

It’s not that we feel like we have things figured out now. It’s that we know nobody does. We know babies are resilient and bouncy and will do what they will do, and they simply don’t care if you are concerned that others are judging you.

We know babies need happy parents more than they need worried parents.

We know that when the flight of beer comes- in those tiny glass cups

and the toddler sees the row of cheerful drinks, they must be thinking, “Wow! A whole assortment of drinks for me, sized to perfectly fit in my chubby toddler hands. How thoughtful, you guys!”

We can understand the confusion, the anger

and the sadness when they are told, “Um, no. Yeah, no, buddy.”

We can act quickly to empty one water cup into another, and pour the German wheat into the empty water cup. Then quickly and discreetly pour big sister’s orange cream soda into the empty toddler-sized beer glass…

And then give the soda in the toddler-sized beer glass to the toddler

to enjoy

with glee

while we continue to debate if we’d like to purchase the growler of the German wheat or the IPA.

Babies need happy parents more than they need worried parents.

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Newborns Are Scary AF
Babies

Newborns Are Scary AF

by Jill
written by Jill

I make light of how relatively easy Wallace, our 4th baby is. I think it’s partly his personality, but mostly that we’re basically seniors in the school of raising babies now. After going through the 1st year of a baby’s life 4 times, we’re ready to walk the stage. We could teach the class next year, to be honest.

But when I talk to friends and friends of friends who are there right now with their very first, I remember how much I forgot. How absolutely totally terrifying it was to be handed another tiny little human with a floppy neck and a soft spot on their head and be expected to keep them alive.

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If I Knew Then What I Know Now
BabiesCloth Diapers

If I Knew Then What I Know Now

by Jill
written by Jill

Being a parent for the first time is no joke. I don’t envy those of you holding tiny babies right now that are going through this brand new. While my postpartum recovery seems to get worse after each baby, the babies themselves? They keep getting easier.

If I Knew Then What I Know Now | BabyRabies.com

Also, I think I just keep getting better at taking care of small babies, and I’m owning that.

I WISH I could gift every first-time mom a basket of mom-of-4 confidence.

If I Knew Then What I Know Now | BabyRabies.com

I remember taking my first to the ER at 2 in the morning within a week of coming home with him. I couldn’t get him to stop scream-crying. Maybe it was the beginning of months of colic, but I look back on that night and tell old-me, “First, calm down. Okay, now feed him. I KNOW HE JUST ATE. I know your nipples are screaming and bleeding and there are literally chunks of flesh falling off of them. PUMP. Pump a bottle. A bottle is not going to ruin him. Stop obsessing about ‘nipple confusion.’ Give him milk. Put something in his mouth to soothe him. Pacifiers are okay. It’s going to be okay. FEED HIM AGAIN.” We probably would have saved the $50 ER copay and I may have got a few more hours of sleep that night. Because I don’t think I went to the ER with a baby with colic (yet). I went to the ER with a baby who was born to a mom who had no idea what she was doing.

That first baby learning curve is steep, and there is no way to relax when, for the first time ever, you are responsible for something as huge as a human life with the tiniest toes you’ve ever seen.

If I Knew Then What I Know Now | BabyRabies.com

First babies feel so much more fragile than each baby thereafter – to me, at least. And I’m not just talking soft-spots and floppy necks.

If I Knew Then What I Know Now | BabyRabies.com

By this time around, I know a baby crying in a crib for a few minutes while I tend to other things (like his 3 siblings) is not going to suffer permanent damage. I know there is no need to stress about tracking diapers and feedings – that because my breasts feel actual relief after he nurses, and because we’re washing a load of bumGenius Littles cloth diapers every 2 days, he’s doing just fine.

If I Knew Then What I Know Now | BabyRabies.com

The thing is, though, these are things you have to learn yourself. You have to learn what that rooting look is- the one all your babies will do long before they break out into full- blown “I’M STARVING” screams. You have to learn what “advice” to take and what to toss. You have to learn to trust yourself.

You will also have to learn how to totally make up stuff on the fly when the nurse at the pediatrician’s office wants a real answer to “How many wet diapers a day? And dirty? And how often is he eating?” They don’t seem to like to record “Plenty” and “The whole damn day. Just look at him!”

If I Knew Then What I Know Now | BabyRabies.com

If you’re reading this while rocking your first baby, hang in there. We’re all in the trenches together, but you? You’re in the deepest part, in mud (or something that looks like mud but smells much worse) up to your knees with flies swarming you. It gets better. I promise. And if you do this again? You’ll do it better.  Yeah, sure, it’s hard when there’s more than one kid to look after, but confidence sorta makes up for all that.

And by “confidence” I partly mean not caring if the 3 year old is running around your backyard naked while eating his 3rd chocolate breakfast bar of the day, and knowing your baby will be just fine with no socks on.

A photo posted by Jill Krause (@babyrabies) on

They’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. It’s fine.

If I Knew Then What I Know Now | BabyRabies.com

So. Tired.

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Expecting your first baby? Come, sit at my table and look into my crystal ball with me. I have many exciting predictions for your future!
PregnancyThe Story

Look Into My Crystal Ball, Expecting Moms

by Jill
written by Jill

Expecting your first baby?

Come, sit at my table and look into my crystal ball with me. I have many exciting predictions for your future!

That beautiful white rug you just bought, to go with those mirror-plated side tables? TOAST. In 2 years, you will literally think to yourself out loud, “That was the stupidest idea ever.”

There will be a moment (or 20) sometime in the next 5 years when you  sit in the middle of a room littered with toys and snack wrappers, staring off into space, while at least one child runs circles around you, climbs over you, jumps on your back, then smears an unknown substance on your person. You will not move. You will be too exhausted. You will walk around the rest of the day with the crusted substance stuck to you. You will maybe remember to wash it off before passing out in your bed that night.

Your clean car will soon become a goldfish graveyard, and you’ll be happy to just keep dirty diapers out of it. When you find you’re missing a child’s shoe, sock, clip, jacket, you will ask yourself and/or your partner, “Did you check the car yet?”

You’ll stop caring if the color of your nail polish matches your wardrobe for the week. You’ll actually avoid nail polish because the effort is so futile, and really, you’ll just be concerned that you get all the poop out from under your nails after a messy diaper change.

The most romantic thing your partner can do for you in the future will be to wake early with the kid(s). Even more sexy? He/she makes breakfast with them and then does all the dishes.

You’ll realize that all the time and money you spent on pinning and buying the cutest and trendiest baby gear and nursery decor was simply a way to keep yourself occupied before the baby came, and nothing of real importance to actually raising a baby (although, you do get bonus points for actually using the things that keep them safe properly).

On probably more than one occasion, you will find yourself in the middle of a parking lot, attempting to scrape a toddler off the asphalt as they scream at you. People passing by will offer looks of sympathy, shock, horror and disgust. You will throw the child over your shoulder, wrestle them into their carseat, then have a strong desire to open the bottle of wine you purchased right there in the parking lot. It’s okay to drink before 5 on days like this, just so you know.

No exaggeration, you will love that kid more than you can even possibly wrap your head around right now. Even after the parking lot scene. You may wish that they would take an extra long nap that day, but you will always have enough in you for an “I love you.” You will love them even when they drive you to drink. Even when they make you cry.

Oh, and yeah, they will make you cry. Sometimes they’ll make you cry about logical, sad, heart-breaking things. Sometimes tears of joy. Sometimes they will make you cry because you can’t remember the last time you got to go to the bathroom alone.

One day (many days, actually) you will find yourself doing something, and you’ll remember exactly the time in your life – prior to having children- when you said you’d NEVER do that. And you’ll laugh.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this fortune telling session. Do not be afraid, for even though these fortunes may sound terrifying, you will survive… if you keep your sense of humor.

CrystalBall

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