exercise

8 Ways I’ve Learned to Love Going To The Gym
Fashion & Fitness

8 Ways I’ve Learned to Love Going To The Gym

by Jill
written by Jill

I don’t mean to brag, but… wait. Yes, yes, I do. I have been to the gym more in that last 2 months than I went all last year. I’m on week 4 of working out 4 days a week.

I am officially one of those people you want to punch who says, “I love going to the gym! I look forward to it. I love the way it makes me feel,” and means it.

In the past, of course, I’ve gone to the gym or ran insanely long distances outside of the gym, but I never, ever looked forward to it.  I did it as a means to an end, and would make a lot of excuses not to go.

Now, I’m nearly skipping gleefully on my way after I’ve dropped the kids at childcare. And as soon as I’m done, I’m already planning my next visit. HAAAAAATTTE ME. It’s okay. Old me hates me, too.

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I did some reflection last night while pushing through a few miles, trying to figure out what is at the root of this change, and this is what I can say:

It took followthrough and about 3 weeks. In the past, I didn’t consistently work out, and as soon as I saw results, I’d let myself slack off. We’re not talking results like a six pack. Nah. Just, like, the minute my pants buttoned again, I was like, “Welp. My work here is done.” This time, I really stayed focused on long-term results, and I’m challenging myself to go 4 days a week for as long as I can. After 3 weeks, I FINALLY started to not hate it.

I found a gym SUPER close to home. A new gym just opened so close to us we can WALK there! This is sooooooo exciting, especially because we’re not used to being able to walk anywhere out here in the ‘burbs. It’s nearly like having it in our own house. Now, is it the best gym? No. There are no fancy rock climbing walls, the pool is crazy small, and the childcare is essentially a large closet with a TV and an adult who I am pretty sure will just keep them alive while I’m gone. (The childcare room is an actual joke, honestly.) But it’s EASY to get there, and it’s fast, and the kids will be fine. They will hate me, but they will be fine… I’m mostly sure of this.

I stopped running on the treadmill. I’ve run 2 marathons, so I’ve always felt like running should be a big part of my workout. But I have always hated the treadmill, yet I still subject myself to it because… why? Because I feel like that’s the only way to do cardio? I don’t even know, but it’s soul sucking, and I was done with it. Now I’m all about the elliptical, but not in the way I’ve used it in the past. No casually bouncing up and down for 20 minutes while watching TV. I set it to high/intense intervals, and I really focus (and sweat!) for 20-30 minutes. TV off, tunes up. Also…

I mastered the rowing machine. Hey, if it’s good enough for the Underwoods! Also, I met some competitive rowers in Israel and holy crap they looked amazing. It’s a fantastic full body workout, especially if you do it right, and work hard at it. Definitely read up and watch some videos on how to do it properly. (Here are some I found helpful.) After just a week of doing it for 10 minutes each workout, I noticed a difference in my upper body strength and my posture.


I got wireless headphones. The wires of my headphones always annoyed the shit out of me when working out, and I ruined 2 pair by rowing over the wires. So I made an investment in myself and sprung for a pair of Skullcandy wireless headphones. FREEDOM!! I mean, did I NEED these to work out? No, but it’s made it so much more fun to listen to my Spotify playlists, which I love customizing for my workouts.

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I keep my workout clothes clean and easy to find. Because, you know, it’s so easy to talk yourself out of the gym when you have nothing to wear. So I have a few outfits that I feel really great in, and I make sure to keep up with cleaning them.

I make it a priority. No seriously, really. I know I have to fit in 4 days in a week. I know I’d rather not be there on the weekends. So that really means I only get one weekday to skip. I always try to go on Mondays & Tuesdays so I can use the skip day later in the week if I need to. I think about what’s on my calendar that week, and plan out my workouts in my head, but I’m flexible. It’s not the end of the world if I don’t make it. I CAN go on the weekend if I have to. I don’t sabotage myself by waiting to get all 4 workouts in the last 4 days of the week.

I’m not weighing myself. For me, my goal is not necessarily to lose weight. I mean, yeah, that would be lovely and I do hope that happens, but it’s not how I’m judging my success. I want to feel better (and I am!) and I want my clothes to fit better (and they are!). I’m sure I’ll weigh myself eventually, but I haven’t stepped on a scale in 2 months. I know that if I do, and if I see that I haven’t lost what I arbitrarily feel is a number that represents all that work I’ve put in, then I’ll feel like a failure. And it’s hard to get failure-me to follow through on things.

Bonus: I’m putting myself out there, asking others to hold me accountable. I’m sharing a bit about it on Snapchat (I’m JillKrause there) and LOVE when people snap me back with their own fitness updates. I’m putting this here. I’m asking my husband to help me make this a priority and I’m helping him do the same.

I’d love for you to share what you’ve done or are doing to help make working out more fun for you. Do you love it? Share your secrets!

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The Whole 30 Made Me Gain Weight, I Don’t Regret It
Fashion & FitnessFood & WineParenthoodReviews

The Whole 30 Made Me Gain Weight, I Don’t Regret It

by Jill
written by Jill

I completed the Whole 30 by the beginning of February. It changed my life for the better. It also made me gain weight.

Yeah…. after 30 days of no sugar, dairy, WINE, and a list of other stuff- 30 days of no weighing myself- 30 days of feeling like I was changing and making healthier choices than I ever had before- I stepped on the scale on day 31 and saw I gained half a pound.

I felt completely defeated and like a total failure, WHICH WAS DUMB because I didn’t even do it to lose weight.

In fact, I didn’t even take measurements or before pictures before because that wasn’t the goal. It was to reboot my relationship with food. And I did that!

I totally kicked my sugar addiction. I realized I CAN live without dairy. I learned how to feed my body what it needs, not just what it craves.

But still, to not even lose a pound? What had I done wrong? Did I eat too much fruit? Did I snack too much? 30 days of followthrough on my part is a RARE thing for me. I was so proud of my choices up until the moment I stepped on that scale.

Every other person I’ve known to complete a Whole 30 reports they lose 5-15 lbs by the end of it. Honestly, for a few weeks I had to stop following the hashtag and checking in at my FB support group because their weight loss was making me feel totally inadequate.

I didn’t measure myself right before the challenge, but I had measured my bust, waist, and hips a month prior for something else. I measured myself on day 31 thinking maybe I just gained muscle mass, but lost inches. Wrong. No change.

The whole time I was doing it, though, I thought for sure I was losing weight and inches. I felt slimmer, I thought I looked slimmer. I don’t know.

The first half of February was a mind fuck in terms of diet and body image after that. It really threw me for a loop. I didn’t update here immediately because I knew I needed to sort through some emotions before I wrote about it.

Let me stop here and say that, for me, if I lost 10 lbs that would really be all the weight I’d want to lose. So it’s not like I was looking for big numbers. And I am mostly okay with the weight I am now. 10 lbs would help me tone up, not be scary thin.

Now, almost 30 days after I completed my Whole 30, I’m able to say with a clear mind that I am SO glad I did it.

And I probably won’t do it again.

Not because it was bad for me! I think it taught me so much about food, and how I respond to it.

For example, I know without a doubt that sugar was the reason I was dead tired and crashing at 3 p.m. every day. Now I won’t touch sugar of any kind before 4 p.m. and my energy levels thank me for it.

I enjoy vegetables far more now, and no longer feel like I need to cover anything in cheese.

I haven’t had a sip of soda since I started, and I honestly don’t miss it or crave it. The thought of it actually makes me a little sick.

I’m drinking coffee without sugar like it’s no big deal now. Occasionally I can rock a black coffee, and sometimes I’ll have a latte (with no sweeteners), but mostly it’s coffee with full fat coconut milk.

And since I was forced to cook nearly every meal for 30 days, I have a lot more ideas when it comes to coming up with dinner now, and am far less likely to run out to a drive through.

I hate to say that the not losing weight part was somewhere I went “wrong,” but I did think quite a bit about what happened to keep me from seeing the kind of results all my friends did.

I’m guessing it’s a combination of a few things.

First, I’m still breastfeeding Lowell. So I wasn’t about to completely cut out snacking, and I ate a lot of full-fat foods because of it.

Second, I actually FED myself. Prior to the Whole 30, my day would go something like this: coffee, coffee, coffee, random processed food in the pantry, water, iced coffee, dinner, wine, cookies.

I was feeding myself 3 full meals a day for the first time in… I really don’t know when EVER in my life I’ve eaten breakfast, lunch, and dinner for 30 days.

I also didn’t workout the entire 30 days, though I hadn’t been working out for a couple months prior to it.

Now I’m finding balance between life before and after Whole 30. Like I said, sugar is a NO before 4, but after? Sure. I’ll treat myself.  Wine is back because of course, but not as much or as frequent. Dairy is really scaled back. Processed foods have no appeal to me anymore. I drink more water, and try to have something small for breakfast- like a Larabar or a hardboiled egg. Veggies take up much more of my plate, and I rarely eat bread.

I’m also working out again, and most days I don’t eat 3 full meals if I’m not hungry for it. I still keep good fats in my diet, though, like coconut, avocados and almonds.

I don’t think I’ll do it again because I think I got what I needed out of it. None of the food groups were real triggers for me in a life-changing way beyond how I react to sugar and dairy, and I am adjusting accordingly. My cravings are minimal.

Instead, I’ll focus on moving forward, adopting what the Whole 30 taught me about myself and incorporating it into a healthier lifestyle.

I’m still a big cheerleader for Whole 30, and think anyone could do it. It’s just for 30 days, and you will learn so much about your relationship with food.

Life After Whole 30 | BabyRabies.com

That awkward moment after you upload what you thought was the perfect pic for a post, only to realize you look like a toddler holding your pee in.

If you want to learn more about it start with the Whole 30 website, read the book It Starts With Food for even more info, and follow TeamWhole on Instagram for tons of inspiration (also the #Whole30 hashtag, of course, and check out #JillsWhole30Journal for all my #whole30 related IG posts).

You can read more about my Whole 30 experience here. 

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On My Worst Days, On My Best Days
BabiesPostpartum Anxiety & DepressionThe Story

On My Worst Days, On My Best Days

by Jill
written by Jill

I honestly think I could count on one, maybe two hands the number of times I’ve taken all three kids somewhere by myself (outside of back and forth to school).

Scott’s done it more times than I’d even try to count. He often takes all three of them grocery shopping, leaving me here to work… which, to be completely honest, mostly just means leaving me here to be in silence and not feel the urge to scream.

For me, postpartum anxiety means living on edge. It means not only battling the intrusive thoughts, the obsessive fears, and the rapid and shallow rise and fall of my breath, but also this feeling of the walls quickly closing in on me whenever things get out of control. Obviously that’s something I run the risk of often when tasked with caring for 3 kids in public.

On my worst days, postpartum anxiety means truly struggling to get dressed, and then struggling even more to get out the door. I would say it’s a struggle to get out of bed, and it can be, but most days I have no choice because a 10 month old is calling out for me over the baby monitor, and nursing him in a quiet room is calming.

On my worst days, I run the necessary errands, but beyond that, there are no casual trips to the park or the post office or the library with the kids. An outing to the zoo or the pool are COMPLETELY out of question. No. I can not. Can not even deal with the thought of it.

But on days like today, one of the good days, I catch a glimpse of the future. I’m reminded that I will get to the point where taking all 3 somewhere with me, be it mundane errands or epic playdates, will become a non-issue. Granted, I don’t think it will ever be without it’s challenges, but future-me will at least be able to manage the thought of taking them somewhere by myself without fighting back a deep feeling of dread.

Today, I loaded up all 3 kids and took them to the local gym. I signed us up for a family membership, and I dropped the kids off at the on-site childcare. I hopped on a treadmill, unsure what my plan was. All I really expected out of myself was 30 minutes of movement. I gave myself permission to take easy outs. I started out at a decent pace, but told myself it was only for a mile. Then I could go slower. And after 2 miles, I could stop. I could walk. It was my first day in a gym in years.

As my feet found their rhythm, my headphones pounded in my ears to songs I’ve never heard in my life, and didn’t chose, but that Workout playlist on Spotify is the next best thing to a personal trainer. I kept up my pace. I passed one mile. I started to go faster.

I carried on, it wasn’t easy, but I found I craved the feeling of accomplishment more than a rest at every point that I’d given myself permission to back out.

I finished a 5k in 33 minutes.

I walked off that treadmill recognizing that I didn’t just kick that workout’s ass. I kicked postpartum anxiety’s ass. At least for today.

When I see people talk about how to “prevent and/or treat” postpartum mental disorders, exercise is almost always mentioned. And yes, it is powerful. I am really looking forward to incorporating it into my routine… if I can manage to keep a routine. I am really looking forward to that blast of endorphins, and all the other ways it can help me feel better, and get through this.

That said, I want to end this with a little note about the advice to just exercise PPMDs away.

On my worst days, there was no way I could get it together enough to exercise. On my worst days, I couldn’t even get it together enough to feed myself.

For me, the only way I got through all of that and to the point where I could even consider exercise was with getting real help and taking prescription medication.

Yes, exercise and self care can do a great deal to treat PPMDs, but please don’t ever assume it’s all that you or anyone else needs.

My anxiety meds are the life preserver that pulled me to the shore where I can finally stand up on my own two feet and run like hell from PPA.

Speaking of kicking PPA’s ass, please consider donating $10 or more to my Climb Out Of The Darkness fundraiser to benefit Postpartum Progress! There are great prizes up for grabs. More details here.

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Fashion & FitnessReviews

Who Wants to Get Their Wii Workout On With Me?

by Jill
written by Jill

It’s been 7 weeks since I walked into the hospital at 7 centimeters and squeezed my little chubster out 2 hours later. She is getting bigger every day, and I, thankfully, seem to be getting smaller.

At my 6 week appointment last week I learned I am 15 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight, having lost 28 lbs since Leyna was born. I’m wearing my first pair of non-elastic waist pants today, and while I’m happy with my progress so far (go calorie burning boobies!), I’m eager to tone up, slim down, and fit back into some more of my old clothes.

Now, before some of you start telling me to “take it easy,” believe me when I say I’m not about to embark on some sort of crash diet. I get that I may not lose all of those last 15 lbs for a long time, especially while I’m still breastfeeding. It’s not so much about the weight for me as it is about just getting active again and firming up a bit. Before I got pregnant with Leyna, I was fresh out of training for and running a marathon and in the best shape of my adult life. I don’t want to get too far from where I was. I don’t want to get too comfortable, too complacent.

But how will I fit in working out with 2 kids now? Especially after we had to cancel our membership to 24 Hour Fitness because I’d rather leave my children in the care of monkeys who very well may throw feces at them than the people they choose to staff their childcare center with. I can’t run with Leyna just yet, she’s too small for the jogging stroller and it’s still a little too chilly for long runs.

Enter the Wii.

As a pre-teen, I played Nintendo for hours on end. I’m fairly certain I spent an entire summer cooped up in my best friend’s room, tirelessly plugging away at Super Mario Brothers 1,2 and 3 until we beat each one. I was, to be completely honest with you all, a TOTAL NINTENDO BADASS. You know… until that became WAY uncool,and, like, I wanted to impress boys and stuff… so then I started playing with makeup.

Then last year the lovely Justine from Brand About Town reached out to me to see if I might be interested in becoming a Nintendo Ambassador. I think my inner 11 year old peed herself a little while the outter 29 year old tried her very best to remain composed and calm at our casual meeting.

A couple months later, Nintendo sent me a Wii and a Wii Fit Plus system and the love affair began all over again. I’ve been itching to dig in and get a good workout on, and now that I’m finally cleared for such things, I can’t wait to begin!

As a Nintendo Ambassador, I get to try out cool new games, like the newly released Mario Sports Mix. I also get to rope my husband into fun challenges and convince him he must dress up in dorky gear and team up with me to play another team for the chance to win personalized Nintendo jerseys (awesomest prize ever). We took the whole thing very seriously… and it paid off!

While I had a blast playing Mario Sports Mix and challenging Vanessa from Chefdruck Musings in Chicago via Wii’s WiFi Connect this weekend, I’m ready to get serious about using the Wii to get back into shape. I happened to stumble across a crazy good deal on the EA Sports Active 2 for Wii (only $19 at Toys R Us!) and picked it up yesterday.

I hope to set it up later tonight and get in my first good workout in nearly a year. I know there are a ton of other fun, active games for the Wii, though, so please tell me if you have one that rocks your socks off and makes you sweat! So far, Zumba and Just Dance are also on my workout wish list. Any others?

Have you had any success with working out on the Wii? Want to join me over the next couple months? I read there’s a way to set up a fitness group of friends with the EA Active. Would any of you be interested in joining in? I’d have to do a little more research to see how that works, but I’m sure I can get my friends at Nintendo to help me figure it out.

Kendall is 2 2/3 and Leyna is 7 weeks old today! And momma is ready to get her skinny jeans back on 🙂

**Disclosure- Nintendo sent the Wii, Wii Fit Plus and games to me at no charge. They also sent those rock star headbands, armbands and SEX-AY socks because they are awesome like that.

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