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Baby Rabies

pregnancy & parenting

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    • Baby Registry Top Picks
    • Favorite Pregnancy Apps
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  • Pregnancy
    • Birth Stories
    • Perinatal Mood Disorders
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    • Parenting LOLZ
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    • Photography

      6 Stunning Photos You Would Never Guess Were…

      February 11, 2019

      Photography

      Simple Tips For Editing Snow Photos On Your…

      December 13, 2018

      Photography

      I Wrote A Photography eBook And This Is…

      December 6, 2018

      Photography

      Creative Lighting Ideas To Help You Take Great…

      November 27, 2018

      Photography

      Learn How To Take And Edit Photos On…

      November 19, 2018

  • Reviews
    • Reviews

      The Answer To Last Minute Holiday Gifting For…

      December 19, 2018

      Reviews

      I Was Never A Barbie Girl Until Now

      October 1, 2018

      Reviews

      Finally! Jeans For My Jean-Averse Kids!

      August 22, 2018

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      If Your Kid Loves Dump Trucks & Garbage…

      August 13, 2018

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elf on the shelf ideas

I Bet I Hate That Elf More Than You #InappropriateElf
InappropriateElfParenthood

I Bet I Hate That Elf More Than You #InappropriateElf

by Jill December 3, 2014
written by Jill

For the past 3 years, this blog has been home to a contest that encourages snarky fun with little elves, known as the Inappropriate Elf contest. It started when I jokingly posted some pics of our Elf On The Shelf doing some not so appropriate things, just to be silly and random.

InElf copy

That post went viral, and the contest was born because so many others had hilarious ideas for what to do with those elves that did not involve setting up miniature snowball fights and tiny cups of hot chocolate. It was a great outlet for many of us, especially when we needed to remind ourselves not to take everything so seriously this time of year, and that Pinterest doesn’t actually award any fun prizes.

2011 Elves
2012 Elves
2013 Elves

But I did! I’ve given away iPads and cameras to the winners. I’ve curated bad-ass panels of guest judges. I’ve spent my entire last 3 Decembers obsessing over this elf in a way that most, even the most devoted and crafty EOTS parents, do not.

He ruined the holidays for me.

No. Scratch that. It’s not the elf’s fault.

The complaining, and the arguing, the content theft, and the drudgery of all the details of such a huge undertaking ruined it for me.

I wanted to keep the tradition going because I know so many of you look forward to it, but as the time crept closer this year, I really just could not find any fucks to give about it. I don’t even know where our elf is in our half-packed house right now.

If I find him in time for some Random Act Of Kindness challenges for my own kids, I’ll be happy.

So, instead of forcing myself through another year of drama and angry emails, I’m just not going to do the contest.

BUT I would still LOVE to feature some of my favorite Inappropriate Elves throughout the season. Email me or tag me in yours! I won’t feature ANYTHING here that is not submitted by it’s original owner/creator so that I can give proper credit, but I’d love to post my favorites each week so that this place remains home of the #InappropriateElf without staying the reason-why-I-dread-December.

To kick things off, here are just a few of my favorites from the last 3 years-

FartLight #InappropriateElf | BabyRabies.com

FartLight Elves 

 Sh*tter's Full #InappropriateElf | BabyRabies.comSh*tter’s Full Elf

Alien #InappropriateElf | BabyRabies.com

Alien Elf

She Didn't Know #InappropriateElf | BabyRabies.com

She Didn’t Know Elf

I hope you all still have fun, and lots of inappropriate fun with your elves this year. I hope the absence of a contest from this mischief makes it more enjoyable for all of us. No more listening to me whine about major websites stealing my work, no more posts to my FB page about the unfairness of the pornographic elves being DQd from the contest.

I feel better already! And can’t wait to share more of your hilarity. I’m counting on you to bring it because I truly don’t know if I’ll ever find our elf again. You can email me via the contact form on here, or send to jill at babyrabies dot com.

December 3, 2014 48 comments
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InappropriateElfSchool Age Days

The Random Acts Of Kindness Elf Challenge

by Jill December 20, 2013
written by Jill

“Mr. Hall has had a rough year, mom. That’s what Jake said. That’s why we need to be extra kind to him. He is going to LOVE this,” Kendall said as he put the finishing touches on a secret gift for our neighbor.

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Last Saturday morning our elf made his return for the season. I know you might be thinking I’m anti Elf On A Shelf, but I’m not. I even enjoy watching all the elaborate set-ups my friends come up with for their kids. It’s a joy to watch their joy in doing these things.

Learn all about my love for Inappropriate Elves here.

Me, though, I’ve learned to edit my commitments to things like this, and then edit again. Each year since our elf Jake showed up 3 years ago, I’ve made his visit a little less elaborate, and a little shorter.

10 days. That’s all I can do right now. So he arrived on the 14th.

image-5

A few days before, I wondered what I would have him do for the kids. Should I try to do just a few funny, mischievous setups? Maybe he could bring them a new pair of socks and underwear each day? It would be funny AND useful. I have very little tolerance for non-useful stuff lately.

The first year, he brought Kendall a tiny new ornament EVERY. MORNING. I think that was rock-bottom of the hyper-new-parent-forcing-joy thing for me. Thank God Kendall was not old enough to remember that and expect it the next year when I had a 2nd baby and was less ridiculous more realistic.

This year I’ve been super sensitive to the entitlement around here. I can’t fault my 5 year old. For one, he’s 5. I think it’s natural for 5 year olds to mostly think about themselves. That said, 5 is plenty old enough to start learning to think of others.

I’ve tried talking to him about how fortunate we are, reminding him to be grateful for the things he takes for granted. Tasks to clean out toys to donate to the local shelter always lead to him negotiating and asking what’s in it for him. It is one of the biggest hot buttons for me as a parent.

If there is one thing my children will learn before they leave this house, it is to give from their heart to those who need it.

So on Saturday, Jake arrived with nothing more than a message on our iPad and a couple dollar bills. I will make this elf work for ME, dammit.

Day1BellRingers

As we walked up to the woman collecting money for a local women and children’s shelter, hot chocolate in hand, it began.

“But I want hot chocolate, mom! Is she going to give me a hot chocolate if I give her one? What is she going to give me?” Kendall whined.

“It’s not about you, Kendall,” I calmly responded, not yet realizing this would become my mantra for this challenge and I would say it often.

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He reluctantly posed for the picture, then gladly took the balloon sword she offered him. She was selling them for $1 donations, so the money they donated meant they both got one.

As I tucked him into bed that night, I told him I was so excited we were able to give the woman hot chocolate and donate money to her cause. He pouted because his balloon sword popped.

I sighed… then I set up the next day’s challenge, laying 2 Angel Tree tags next to the iPad and Jake.

We shopped for 2 kids from the local Angel Tree program the next day, and I spent nearly the entire time in Target repeating, “It’s not about you, Kendall. This is not for you. We are not looking for you. We are not buying for you.”

He whined, cried at one point, pouted, demanded I add the items we were buying for the kids to his Christmas list. I forced him to stand next to the tree and smile for a picture.

image

And then I pressed on, setting up the next day’s challenge after bedtime, and after popping 2 Advil. I had a fever, a sore throat. I was exhausted.

On the 3rd day, Jake challenged Kendall to bring some coffee to the people who work in his school’s front office. I drove to Einstein’s to pick up a gallon of coffee while Scott got him dressed. He drove him to school and helped him deliver everything. I was too sick to even try.

“Did you remember to get a picture?” I asked when Scott walked back in the door.

“Heh. Yeah. He was… thrilled,” Scott replied. I could tell he was wondering why I was even bothering with all of this. Honestly, I was starting to, too.

image-3

UGHHHHHH. I wanted to growl, but I took a nap, instead. When I woke up, I wondered if I was trying to force something that wasn’t there yet. I wondered if 10 days of random acts of kindness was too much for a 5 year old. I wondered if I was wasting my time when I was already short on it and would rather be nursing this cold.

But I couldn’t back out. Jake already committed us to this challenge. If I changed things up or just stopped altogether, I undermined Jake.

That night I set up the challenge for the next day- a donation to the local animal shelter. Jake asked us to buy a bag of dog food and deliver it.

“What? Dogs don’t have homes sometimes? But why? I love dogs!” he said as we drove to the shelter.

image-1

Dare I say, he delivered that bag of dog food with glee. We got to spend a few minutes with one of the canine residents, and he left telling me, “Maybe on Friday, instead of playing video games, we can come back here and play with more dogs!”

“Maybe,” I smiled back and wrapped my arm around his shoulder.

I knew the next day would be super busy, and the random act of kindness would need to be simple. Jake showed up with a plastic bag and a challenge to fill it with trash.

Kendall leapt out of the car at Target, “Oh! I see some, mom. Come on!”

We spent 10 minutes picking up trash along the front of the store before heading inside for some groceries. He skipped along, barely getting one piece in the bag before running off for another. I had to cut him off when the wind started to pick up and the bag was mostly full.

image-2

Today, Jake asked him to help me make a small gift for our neighbor and leave it on his door-step. He told Kendall that our neighbor has had a rough year, and that I could explain more.

I told Kendall that our neighbor, an older man, lost his wife this summer and now he’s really sick. (Last we heard, they thought he had liver cancer.)

I wasn’t met with any eye-rolls or exasperated sighs about how “this is going to be booooorrrring.”

“So we need to be extra kind to him, right mom?”

“Right!”

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IMG_9215

Tonight, my five year old and I put a soft blanket and a small gift card for a coffee shop in a gift bag. He wrote the card, and signed it “Secret Santa.”

We quietly snuck next door and crept up onto the pitch black front porch. We dropped the gift near the front door, then ran like crazy when we heard a dog barking inside. We gave each other high fives on our own front porch when we were in the clear.

Kendall beamed from ear to ear. “YES! WE DID IT!”

Tonight, I experienced the most joyous Christmas moment of my life… so far. We’re only halfway through our Random Acts Of Kindness Elf challenge.

Thank you, Jake, for showing my kid how magical giving to others can be, and for giving me the honor of watching him make the discovery.

December 20, 2013 36 comments
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InappropriateElf

2nd Annual Inappropriate Elf Contest #InappropriateElf

by Jill November 24, 2012
written by Jill

It’s the moment some of us have been waiting for since we put away that sly little elf last year. Visions of inappropriate elf scenarios have been dancing through many of your heads for weeks or months.

Oh sure, these elves may help us persuade the children to behave between now and Christmas, but I’d argue they’re more effective at providing the grownups some much-needed comic relief between bedtime and breakfast throughout this chaotic season.

It seems our elf – Jake- has been watching a bit too much cable TV since last Christmas. He got into lots of TV-inspired mischief at our house recently.

Honey Boo Boo Elf greets the kids with a breakfast of Sketti and Go Go juice.

Spring Break Elf breaks into your liquor cabinet and does body shots off Barbie.

She Didn’t Know She Was Pregnant Elf presents you with a great opportunity to talk to the kids about unplanned pregnancy when she pushes out a baby in your bathroom.

Gangnam Style Elf will teach your kids to… be awesome… and call everyone “sexy.”

 What began as 5 Highly Inappropriate and Traumatizing Elf On The Shelf Ideas in 2011, has morphed into the hilarity that is the Annual Inappropriate Elf Contest, and now it’s your turn to play!

I can’t wait to see all the elves you’re going to link up below between now and December 18th at 11:59 p.m. CST when we will close entries and let our amazing panel of guest judges (to be announced soon) decide who takes home first prize (a Nikon 1 V2 mirrorless camera from Adorama!!) and second prize (an iPad mini from Passionfruit Ads!) from the top 10 elves, selected by the girls from HaHas for HooHas and me.

The 3 elves with the most votes/likes in the linkup will automatically make it into the top 10.

The elf with the MOST votes/likes- Fan Favorite- will automatically make it into the top 10, and win a Nintendo 3ds unless they win first or second prize. 

For more info on how the prizes will shake out in that case, and to read ALL THE RULES (which you’re REQUIRED to do before entering), head to the official 2nd Annual Inappropriate Elf Contest Rules Page. 

Then come back here to link up below! Voting doesn’t start until December 7th.

Be sure to follow and post with the #InappropriateElf hashtag on Twitter and Instagram! And you can always like me on Facebook, and follow me on Twitter and Instagram so you won’t miss a single Inappropriate Elf update.



November 24, 2012 136 comments
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Prepare For The Inappropriate Elves
InappropriateElf

Prepare For The Inappropriate Elves

by Jill November 13, 2012
written by Jill

They’re coming. They’re growing restless in their dark boxes.

They’re whispering in your attic.

They’re plotting their naughty adventures.

They aren’t just here to watch your kids and threaten them into good behavior.

They’re here… for the party. And they are ready to be inappropriate.

Yes, friends. The 2nd Annual Inappropriate Elf contest is launching soon.

And prizes? You bet there will be prizeS! WITH AN S! AS IN MORE THAN ONE!

Not only am I giving away an iPad Mini from Passionfruit Ads this year, but my favorite camera store Adorama has stepped in with an even bigger prize – the newly released Nikon 1 V2 mirrorless camera and lens! Also, the elf with the most fan votes will win a Nintendo 3Ds, provided by me.

 

Mark your calendars and prepare the elves!

Entries will open Saturday, the 24th of November, in the evening. 

I will have more details for you then with the official launch post.

What you need to know for now is:

  • Each blog may submit ONE photo (not a collage, not a video, not a drawing) of an elf being “inappropriate.” You can, of course, put as many pictures up on your own blog (to tell your elf’s story if you’d like) but you need to select only one to enter.
  • You don’t have to have kids or even celebrate Christmas to participate. You don’t even have to have “that elf” that is pictured above. All you have to do is get an elf and take a picture of them that will make people laugh. That’s it.
  • If you don’t have a blog, I recommend setting up a Tumblr account. It’s free and super easy. Your photo will need to be hosted on your blog or tumblr to submit it. It will also need to be viewable by the public.
  • Keep your elves PG-13. These are inappropriate elves, not racist, ignorant, or pornographic elves. Use your discretion. I can tell you, the winner will NOT be something beyond “inappropriate.” In other words? Use your head and get creative, like last year’s winner Cut A Hole In A Box Elf by Adventure Mama


Here’s a description of what the MPAA considers PG-13.
 (Please note this contest is not at all intended to be viewed by children. This is adult fun.)

If you are looking for an elf, I have seen them at Target (in the book section), Barnes & Noble and on Amazon (affiliate link).

Remember how much fun we had last year? If you need a refresher, are new to this whole Inappropriate Elf thing, or you just need to get your hilarious elf fix between now and the 24th, check out these posts from last year:

  • The one that started it all! 5 Highly Inappropriate & Traumatizing Elf On The Shelf Ideas
  • The one where I launched the contest – Inappropriate Elf Contest, Starring Inappropriate Elf
  • And the winner was…. – The Moment All Inappropriate Elves Have Been Waiting For

To make your elf easier to pose amidst their mischief, check out this tutorial from Dirty Diaper Laundry.

And for even more elf fun, check out Elf Shaming!

I can’t wait to see what your elves have been up to this year!  And don’t worry, you don’t HAVE to enter ON the 24th. Entries will be open until December 18th, and voting won’t start until December 7th.

Follow me on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook, along with the #InappropriateElf hashtag to keep up with all the fun! 

 

November 13, 2012 10 comments
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