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      December 6, 2018

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      November 27, 2018

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      November 19, 2018

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      December 19, 2018

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elf on the shelf contest

InappropriateElf

2013 Inappropriate Elf Contest #InappropriateElf

by Jill November 29, 2013
written by Jill

Listen, elf. I know this job of yours is stressful this time of year. Parents are putting a lot of pressure on you to perform. They want you to MAKE MAGIC with cotton balls, sugar cubes, and dry erase markers!

They want you to make the kids believe in you so much that they can be stopped mid-meltdown in the aisles of Target with the mere mention of your “name.”

And sometimes it’s a really freaking ridiculous name.

“Sparkles the Elf is going to tell Santa you weren’t good today if you don’t stop that right now!”

“Sparkles”??? For fucks sake, your name is Adam. I get it. It’s enough to drive you to drink and take some pills.

DrunkElf

You’ve reached your breaking point. You’ve considered all the ways out.

psychoelf

And then you just gave up and went wild.

SpringBreakElf

This same approach happened over and over with elves across the world….

Inappropriate Elf Contest 2011
Inappropriate Elf Contest 2012

ending in some unintended consequences for a few.

SheDidntKnowElf

But now it’s really caught up to you, elf. I’m so sorry to tell you that Santa just informed me you’ve been demoted.

InappropriateElf2013

I have no idea what your new job will be, but here are a few examples of what’s happened to some of your inappropriate co-workers.

FoxSaysElf

He spends his days trying to figure this out for once and for all. Until then, he has to play the song on repeat. He twitches in his sleep, screaming out “Ring ding ding ding er WHAT DOES IT SAY?!” until he wakes in a cold sweat.

HumpDayElfPhoto credit: GEICO/You Tube

No more Marshmallow Mondays at the Candy Cane Bar. No more Fa La La La Fridays, throwing snowballs with the guys. Now it’s just a job of pushing paper in a cubicle next to this guy. The elf is equal parts terrified and curious to know how and why Santa removed his antlers.  It’s obvious that office work leads to bad posture and humps on your back. It’s rough, man. Rough.

MileysElfWith a little illustration help from HaHas For HooHas.

He’s responsible for sanitizing her foam finger and wrecking ball. I think that’s all you need to know.

RobFordsElfPhoto Credit: Chris Young/The Canadian Press

Minutes after this picture was taken, Ford took a cue from this Inappropriate Elf  and peed his own name in the snow right outside the window of a children’s hospital as a holiday party went on inside. Then he told Matt Lauer he can’t be blamed because he was too wasted to remember. Apparently, he spiked the kids’ punch… then drank it all while his elf was passing out presents.

I sure hope you find yourself in a much more tolerable job, elf. Because, like I said, I get it. I can see why you and countless other elves get a little inappropriate this time of year. Maybe Santa will let you go to rehab instead? I’ll see what we can work out.

************

I have a feeling this isn’t going to deter the other elves from getting into a little trouble this year, though. So let’s see what they’re up to. Are you ready to submit a picture of your inappropriate elf?

First, MAKE SURE YOU READ THE RULES. 

Here’s what’s on the line.

InappropriateElfPrizes13

You have until 11:59 pm CST on December 18th to link up your elf picture. After that, HaHas for HooHas will help me narrow down the top 10, and a panel of guest judges (yet to be announced) will vote to determine the top 2.

I’ll announce the winner on December 23rd. More details and dates can be found in the rules. 

Follow the directions in the Linky Tools below. Good luck, and may the elves be ever in your favor!



November 29, 2013 104 comments
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InappropriateElf

The 2012 Inappropriate Elf Winners!

by Jill January 1, 2013
written by Jill

It’s TIME! Time to announce the winners of the 2012 Inappropriate Elf contest!

Before we get to the grand reveal, I want to give a big thanks to the judges who voted on the Top 11 Inappropriate Eves of 2012, which Jen and Anna from HaHas For HooHas helped me compile.

The Judges

Jamie and Jacinda from Prudent Baby – Jacinda Boneau and Jaime Morison Curtis are the co-founders of Prudent Baby, the #1 destination for style, craft, travel and DIY inspiration for families. Join them as they search the globe and their own backyards to bring you tips, ideas, and projects that make life at home simpler and more beautiful. Visit the Prudent Baby Channel for their latest video! Jaime is also author of the award-winning book Prudent Advice: Lessons for My Baby Daughter (A Life List for Every Woman) (Andrews McMeel, 2010) and follow up fill-in journal My Prudent Advice (Chronicle, 2012)

Amber from Crappy Pictures – Amber is the author AND illustrator of Parenting Illustrated with Crappy Pictures, where she visually tells many stories of parenthood we can all relate to. She also has a book coming out early this year, published by Harlequin Nonfiction. She’s frequently featured on The Huffington Post.

Charlie and Andy from How To Be A Dad – Charlie Capen & Andy Herald are co-founders of “How To Be A Dad” an entertainment site for dads, moms,  and those with no plans of procreating, whatsoever. The site is not so much a “how-to”, but a “how-not-to” portal centered around two sleep-deprived friends with nothing left to lose but their sanity as they navigate fatherhood and try to look smart doing so. They’re not experts, but that isn’t gonna stop them from pretending. They’ve appeared on Babble.com, Huff Post Parents, Art of Manliness, BabyCenter, AOL, Neatorama, Laughing Squid, and a host of other websites that smell delicious.

Tanis The Redneck Mommy – When Tanis Miller isn’t twirling her pompons in the freak parade that is her life, she’s writing about it on her blog, Attack of the Redneck Mommy. She’s not really a redneck, she just plays one on the internet. She also just got THE CUTEST puppy, so you should really stalk her blog if you’re into virtual puppy breath.

Jamie The Baby Guy NYC – Jamie Grayson was named the “Best Baby Gear Guru” by New York Magazine in 2010, and writes extensively about all the latest baby gear on his blog Baby Guy Gear Guide. Don’t think you’ll be getting boring and lifeless gear reviews, though. Jamie peppers his honest and thorough posts with his wit and a dash of snark when needed. And he’s always down for dishing out advice on his Facebook page.

Chelsey The Paper Mama – When she’s not blogging on The Paper Mama about Photo Challenges, one of her many fantastic DIYs, or life as a mother to 3 year old Rauri, she’s busy working on custom illustrations she sells through her Etsy shop. She’s also a Pinning Pro for Better Homes and Gardens.

Morgan from The 818- Morgan Shanahan is a professional blogger and screenwriter living in Los Angeles’ San Fernando Valley (aka“The818”) with her toddler daughter, dashing hubby, and farting trio of dogs.In addition to over-sharing her personal life (complete with curse words) on The818.com, She’s BlogHer’s Entertainment Editor, a Babble Voices columnist, and occasionally writes about art and design for Cargoh.com.

Ilana from Mommy Shorts – Ilana writes Mommy Shorts, a humor blog about parenting which chronicles her experience raising kids in NYC. Turns out, when your toddler runs the show, your newborn keeps you up all night, and you never go out, it’s not that different from raising them anywhere else. She’s not afraid to poke a little Jewish fun at Inappropriate Elves or “Hanukah Helpers” either.

Mandy from The Haps– Mandy Morrison writes about life in the Pacific Northwest with her husband Scot with one T and her ridiculously adorable toddler Harper over on Harpers Happenings, a.k.a. The Haps. You can find delicious recipes and lots of creative DIYs, which have been featured on Apartment Therapy and Young House Love. Her Instagram is a must follow.

The Winners!

1st Place and winner of the Nikon 1 V2 and 10-30 mm lens from Adorama

Elf Enough by The Eco Friendly Family

2nd Place and winner of the iPad Mini from Passionfruit Ads 

Cousin Eddie Elf from The Leggy Files

Most voted/Fan Favorite and winner of the Nintendo 3ds from me

Whipped Cream Bikini Elf from Awesomeness Since 2002

Congrats to the winners! I’ll be in touch to arrange prize shipping. Thanks to all who participated this year, and another thanks for understanding all the delays due to unforeseen circumstances this past month.

 

January 1, 2013 20 comments
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Prepare For The Inappropriate Elves
InappropriateElf

Prepare For The Inappropriate Elves

by Jill November 13, 2012
written by Jill

They’re coming. They’re growing restless in their dark boxes.

They’re whispering in your attic.

They’re plotting their naughty adventures.

They aren’t just here to watch your kids and threaten them into good behavior.

They’re here… for the party. And they are ready to be inappropriate.

Yes, friends. The 2nd Annual Inappropriate Elf contest is launching soon.

And prizes? You bet there will be prizeS! WITH AN S! AS IN MORE THAN ONE!

Not only am I giving away an iPad Mini from Passionfruit Ads this year, but my favorite camera store Adorama has stepped in with an even bigger prize – the newly released Nikon 1 V2 mirrorless camera and lens! Also, the elf with the most fan votes will win a Nintendo 3Ds, provided by me.

 

Mark your calendars and prepare the elves!

Entries will open Saturday, the 24th of November, in the evening. 

I will have more details for you then with the official launch post.

What you need to know for now is:

  • Each blog may submit ONE photo (not a collage, not a video, not a drawing) of an elf being “inappropriate.” You can, of course, put as many pictures up on your own blog (to tell your elf’s story if you’d like) but you need to select only one to enter.
  • You don’t have to have kids or even celebrate Christmas to participate. You don’t even have to have “that elf” that is pictured above. All you have to do is get an elf and take a picture of them that will make people laugh. That’s it.
  • If you don’t have a blog, I recommend setting up a Tumblr account. It’s free and super easy. Your photo will need to be hosted on your blog or tumblr to submit it. It will also need to be viewable by the public.
  • Keep your elves PG-13. These are inappropriate elves, not racist, ignorant, or pornographic elves. Use your discretion. I can tell you, the winner will NOT be something beyond “inappropriate.” In other words? Use your head and get creative, like last year’s winner Cut A Hole In A Box Elf by Adventure Mama


Here’s a description of what the MPAA considers PG-13.
 (Please note this contest is not at all intended to be viewed by children. This is adult fun.)

If you are looking for an elf, I have seen them at Target (in the book section), Barnes & Noble and on Amazon (affiliate link).

Remember how much fun we had last year? If you need a refresher, are new to this whole Inappropriate Elf thing, or you just need to get your hilarious elf fix between now and the 24th, check out these posts from last year:

  • The one that started it all! 5 Highly Inappropriate & Traumatizing Elf On The Shelf Ideas
  • The one where I launched the contest – Inappropriate Elf Contest, Starring Inappropriate Elf
  • And the winner was…. – The Moment All Inappropriate Elves Have Been Waiting For

To make your elf easier to pose amidst their mischief, check out this tutorial from Dirty Diaper Laundry.

And for even more elf fun, check out Elf Shaming!

I can’t wait to see what your elves have been up to this year!  And don’t worry, you don’t HAVE to enter ON the 24th. Entries will be open until December 18th, and voting won’t start until December 7th.

Follow me on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook, along with the #InappropriateElf hashtag to keep up with all the fun! 

 

November 13, 2012 10 comments
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Blogging

#InappropriateElf In July

by Jill July 4, 2012
written by Jill

#InappropriateElf wanted to be sure you all have a safe and happy holiday.

He’s enjoying his time off, and is taking advantage of the off-season by grilling, lounging in his private pool, working on his tan..

And doing wine-box stands to stay hydrated.

He also wanted me to remind you that he’ll be back this year for the 2nd Annual #InappropriateElf contest, and promises more awesome prizes. (Remember how last year the winner got an iPad 2?)

You can’t participate unless you adopt an Inappropriate Elf of your own… or just a regular elf that you turn to the dark side. If you take one in now, you should have plenty of time to corrupt them.

You can get one on Amazon. 

The contest opens for entries this year on Saturday, December 1st.

I’m only telling you all this because Inappropriate Elf thought it would be a nice reminder. I’m back to respecting the turkey, and the jack-o-lantern, and the Texas State Fair, and the rest of summer now.

Not familiar with #InappropriateElf and all his inappropriate co-workers? For shame! You have catching up to do.

5 Highly Inappropriate & Traumatizing Elf On The Shelf Ideas 

Inappropriate Elf Contest, Starring Inappropriate Elf

The Top 11 Inappropriate Elves of 2011

The Inappropriate Elf Winners of 2011

Happy 4th, y’all! And God bless a country where I’m free to photograph and exploit an Inappropriate Elf.

July 4, 2012 4 comments
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