The following is what I can only imagine goes through Kendall’s head every morning. It’s pretty much always the same thing, the same back and forth of emotions, the same rivalry with the dog. This nearly 2 year old little boy seems to have the mood swings of a PMSing 16 year old girl.
::rub eyes, check to make sure all toys and books are still in bed with me, see that I still have room on this mattress for more stuff, crawl out of bed and toddle over to the sock drawer, bring back all the socks I can carry in my chubby arms, climb back in bed and be happy::
Hmmm.. I’m hungry, and I can’t find the cheese I tried to bring to bed with me last night.
“MA! MAAAAAA!!….. DA?…Woof??”
::sit, wait, undo diaper::
I think I hear her coming… yup… there she is! Quick, show her all the socks!
Oh wait, I’m not ready to get out of bed. I’m still sleepy! NO! Why is she making me get out of bed?!
“NO. Grrrrrrrr. No!”
::flailing limbs, body to jelly::
Must resist clean diaper. If she gets a clean diaper on me, she’ll think she can put clean clothes on me. Do NOT WANT CLOTHES! Oh look, a dog.
Dammit, how did she get that diaper on me! Stupid distracting dog trick.
::turn to jelly again when set on floor, collapse into puddle of screaming::
Why is she asking me what’s wrong? I don’t know! … Oh, breakfast. Yes! Bananas!
::stand up, run to kitchen, wait by bananas, lose patience::
“Nanananana! Pease! EEEEEE!”
::watch mom like a hawk, making sure she doesn’t ruin the banana by taking the peel off for me::
Whew. That was close.
::unpeel banana by myself because I’m grown up like that, leave peel on the floor, scream at dog when she tries to eat it::
OMG! OMG, what just happened?! OH NO! The banana is broken! I BROKE THE BANANA! This will not DO! How could I do this?
::throw banana on floor, crying::
NO! Why is the dog eating the banana?! That’s MY broken banana! Give it back!
::SCREAMS VERY LOUD::
Why is she not getting me a new banana? What does she mean USE MY WORDS?! Use YOUR words and tell the dog to give me back my broken banana!
There, now go get me a new banana…. Wait… what? Where are you taking… to TIMEOUT?? Are you for real?! It’s the dog’s fault!
::sit in stupid boring corner, take off socks, be bored, give dog evil glare, vow to never drop her food from the table again::
Yes, mommy. I’m sorry. Yes, I know. No hitting. Yes, I’ll give you a hug. And look at how cute and sweet I am, don’t ever forget it. Here’s a sweet smile just for you.
::hug mommy, walk over and hug dog, but this doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven::
Oh look! Diego!
::run over to TV, eat new banana, drink milk, lay head on doggie::
I love Diego. I love bananas. I love my doggie.
Kendall is nearly 23 months old, and sometimes I wonder if Midol might help.