defiance

ParenthoodStuffThe StoryToddlers

What are you smiling at?

by Jill
written by Jill

What is so funny about me saying no? What? It is not funny.
STOP laughing. Cease and desist, I tell you!
Step away from the dog bowl/computer/trashcan/health hazard and nobody gets hurt.
What? Are you calling my bluff? You think I won’t rip your arms from your body if you take a step closer? Okay, you may be right, but I will YELL VERY LOUD!!
NOOOOO!!!
And I will clap my hands in your face because that’s what a book says to do.
I’m mean and I’m CLAPPING.  
Look. I am now yelling at you, and clapping, AND making a very mean mommy face.  
This is NOT funny. At. All. 
Stop the belly laughs. Stop it. I am one thousand percent serious. 
Stop making that face. You are making me want to laugh. STOP IT! You are not playing fair!!  
Hold on… I’ll be right back… I must slip into the other room to laugh.

This does NOT mean you’ve won.

Kendall is 14 and a half months old and thinks is HILARIOUS to defy me.  No respect.

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The StoryToddlers

The age of defiance is upon us

by Jill
written by Jill

And, frankly, I don’t know what to do. He’s 14 months old.  In many respects he still seems like a baby. In many others he seems like he’s one step away from snatching the keys to the car from my hand and flying out the door before I even have time to shout, “don’t do anything STUPID!”  He’s very much into pushing boundaries these days, testing us, and showing off.

For example, I will say, “No, Kendall.  Don’t play in the dog water.” He will look me dead in the eyes, put his hand in the dog water with the purpose and precision of a surgeon and then shake his head no, as if to say, “Let me get this straight. THIS is what you don’t want me to do, right? Putting my hand in the dog water just like this? Oh, yes.  I know that. See.  Noooooo.”  

So is he understanding no? Can you punish a 14 month old for deliberately disobeying you when you aren’t even sure if he knows he’s disobeying you? I certainly don’t want to condone the behavior.  It’s one thing when he demonstrates with the dog water, but quite another if he is trying to break into the gas fireplace.

I’ve tried the distraction, positive reinforcement method, but I don’t think he’s getting it.  It’s such a weird place to be, in limbo between baby and child.  I’m not ready for a toddler yet.  I’m just now figuring out what to do with the baby.  Pause, please.

Kendall will be 14 months in the blink of an eye, and 14 shortly after

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BabiesThe Story

Mmmm..Crunchy!

by Jill
written by Jill

Kendall’s oral exploratory phase is in high gear.  There is no piece of dirt or debris safe from his chubby fingers and 7 teeth.  The top rails of his crib look like a wild animal attacked it, and I find him after every nap with a ring of wood stain and polyurethane chips around his mouth.  Fabulous.

This also coincides with what seems to be the beginning of defiance and boundary pushing.  I am fairly certain he can distinguish the word no, and I’m pretty sure he understands it.  I told myself months back I would not abuse the “NO” because I was worried it would loose effectiveness.  Of course, I made that silly little promise to myself before Kendall started doing things like pulling the Internet cable out of the wall, attempting to scale the blinds, and crawling as quickly away from me as possible straight for the bowl of dog water.  There I am right behind him, sprinting across the room to intercept, escalating the “no” as I get closer.  “No, honey.  NooOO.  NOOO. NO.  NO,NO,NO,No.  NO.”  I wag my finger like an old lady.  He looks over his shoulder, giggles with glee, then turns on the baby burners and books it.  So cute that he thinks his newly perfected crawl can out pace me.  He’s always surprised when I catch him, and then, of course, he tries the exact same thing again minutes later.

So today’s funny story is this.  I’m working at my desk, he is maybe 6 feet away and quietly playing.  This is my first sign something is wrong.  My son does not get quiet unless he is plotting or investigating.  He never quietly investigates the safe and healthy toys I provide.  It’s always something he’s not supposed to have.  I look up and we make eye contact.  He smiles and slowly pulls his hand up to his face, as if to taunt me.  I know what comes next, though I can’t really make out just what is going to meet it’s demise in his slobbery chompers.

I stand up and begin the series of “No”.  With each one he dramatically brings his hands closer to his face.  Half way there I get a good look at what is in his hand.  OMG.  It’s a dead spider.  “NOOOOOO!!!  Ewww!!  NO.  NO, NO, NO, NO.  Ewwwwww!!! Kendall, NO.”  The closer I get the quicker he moves.  In a matter of a second my brain is thinking “Grosss!!!  OMG.  DON’T let him eat that.  But Ewww!! You have to touch a dead SPIDER!  Quickly,  just fling it out of his hands.  HURRY.  OMG.  Boys are so gross.”

This reaction is apparently very entertaining to an 8 month old (and to think, I was JUST blogging about watching my reactions around him).  He was laughing hysterically at me by the time I grabbed his chubby little hand and flicked the icky spider out of it.  Blech…it makes me shudder just to think of him chomping down on it.  I’m pretty sure he got a leg or two.  I’m not bothered by the occasional leaf that makes it into his digestive system, but a spider is so….ewww!!!

Kendall is 8 months and 5 days old

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