Never say never. How many times have I uttered that? It should be tattooed on every new parent’s arm. A CONSTANT reminder. I bet if I could find that parenting manual that shot out of my vagina and got lost somewhere in the hospital, there would be a whole chapter repeating those words, over and over. But, I thought, surely there were SOME things I could say with confidence that I would never buy for my child. I mean, I have control over my wallet, right? I should be able to say what I will and won’t spend money on.
Well, I’ve done it again. I’ve caved to the monster that is the inevitability of parenthood. I turned to the dark side. Today I purchased….
CROCS!!! AHHHHHHHH!!! Hold me. I’m scared.
Now, watch me justify my purchase.
Okay, if ever there were an acceptable subset of people to wear foam clogs with holes in them, it would be toddlers, right? Especially toddlers with SHREK feet, feet so extra fat that I can barely get the Velcro of his extra wide sandals to close. That kind of toddler really needs big, fat, forgiving foam clogs. And that kind of toddler also happens to be the kind of toddler who’s really digging his new found independence and melting into a pile of 2 year old tears and frustration any time he can’t put his own shoes on. That kind of toddler is also loving the ease with which he can take off his flip-flops while in the car, and giggles maniacally when he launches them at the back of my head while driving. That kind of toddler loves to help his daddy water the garden every day, leaving his shoes soaking wet and covered in mud, causing his expensive sneakers, made especially for the fat-foot-freak variety of toddler, to stink after drying outside overnight.
So we bought some “greeeen shooooos!” today. He loves them, doesn’t want to take them off, wants to nap in them. I’ve never seen this sort of reaction to shoes in anyone other than a grown woman with a pair of Manolos. The Crocs store sort of smells, and I think that smell must be the toddler crack they dust on the shoes.
I sort of hate to admit it, but he kind of looks ridiculously adorable in them.
Also, let this picture be a visual for my parenting style right now, allowing the child to nosh from the Cheezits box while watching probably the 5th TV show of the day, standing atop a carpeted floor that might be a different color if I vacuumed.
But he is cute, no? And he does LOVE those damn shoes, so much that he didn’t even try to take them off and throw them at me in the car, and he begged and pleaded to sleep in them tonight. I confess, I’m even thinking of a second pair in another color.
So tell me… what have you bought your kid that you swore you’d never spend your money on?
Kendall is 2 years old and I’m 11 weeks pregnant
Hey, here’s a #helpSam update for everyone! We are sitting at $6,099 right now, $5,099 more than my original $1k goal! We’ve already paid for 4 months of COBRA insurance for Sam, and our new goal is to pay for 5. We need to raise $7,500 by June 11th (9 days away). We can SO do this. You all have been AMAZING so far. Seriously, every day I am brought to tears by your generosity, the sweet messages and emails, the encouraging tweets. Cassie and her family are moved by what you have done. Her tweet to me today said, “$1,500 seemed unreal… this is incredible. We’re blown away by the generosity.” Please help us get there. If you haven’t read Sam’s story yet, go here. Thanks so much for helping me #helpSam.