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      December 13, 2018

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      December 6, 2018

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      November 27, 2018

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      November 19, 2018

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      December 19, 2018

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      October 1, 2018

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      August 22, 2018

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college

The StoryToddlers

Beyond Studying- The Pride That Came From Paying For College

by Jill July 24, 2013
written by Jill

It was never a question of “if” I would go to college. It was expected of me, and I expected it of myself. I remember talking with friends in the first grade about attending the University of Hawaii together. As a Navy brat and Oahu resident at the time, it seemed only natural.

There was a lot of talk of scholarships, loans, and grants as I got older and began setting my eyes on the reality of a college education. I didn’t grow up in a middle-class household. My parents, 18 when they had me, did a fantastic job at the whole parenthood thing on a very tight budget. So while there was no college fund waiting for me upon graduation, the best gift they gave me was the confidence never to second guess that I could make it happen on my own.

I graduated from an out of state school in three-and-a-half years, earning a bachelor’s degree in broadcast journalism from the #1 journalism school in the country- the University of Missouri.

graduation.jpg

This is not to say that it was easy. Indeed, it was a struggle. This is also not to say that I didn’t have moments of resentment that I didn’t have any financial help. I sometimes fought back bitterness and resentment, especially every time I had to choose between buying a textbook or doing things like going out to dinner with friends who put their tab on their parent’s credit card.

The hardest struggle for me in college wasn’t the actual studying part, though my grades did suffer a bit from the time I put into working so that I could pay for everything. And yes: everything. From my rent, to my car, to my clothes, to my food- it was all on me, aside from help from my parents here and there when they could afford it.

I was lucky to attend school at a time when interest rates were low and grants weren’t as hard to acquire. I had a handful of scholarships to help out, too. I’ll still be paying off my college education until…. I die? I honestly don’t know. It’s pretty far off.

The work and the sacrifice involved led to one of my proudest accomplishments, however, and I think the fact that I made it work financially is a big part of the pride I take in having earned my college degree. I wish I could say that I made this happen by carefully planning out my budget every semester, and give you tangible takeaways that you could apply to real life. The truth is, though, that it was sheer stubbornness on my part. I decided that I would NOT fail. I would NOT give up. It was equal parts determination and hope that everything would work out, and many afternoons crying in my financial aid advisor’s office, begging for him to find just one more way for me to squeeze a little more money out of my next financial aid package.

MizzouWScott

That college education has been well worth the investment, and it’s something I’m hopeful I’ll be able to help my own children attain. Ideally, we’ll be fortunate enough to help them pay for at least part of it. My husband was financially responsible for his entire college experience, too, and we often talk about what we’ll do if we’re in a position to pay for our kids’ college educations.

While we never want them to endure the stress that we did while working our way through college if we can help it, we also don’t want them to take it for granted. We feel like it’s a great time in their life to learn how to take responsibility, and to learn some life skills to go with those fancy pieces of paper. We’ll see what that solution is when we get there, but I don’t think it will involve blindly writing a check every month for tuition and expenses. That would be taking away an incredible gift of pride and accomplishment away from my children that only they can give themselves, something we can’t help them attain with money.

This post is part of BlogHer’s Goal, Accomplished editorial series, made possible by P&G Always Infinity.

July 24, 2013 14 comments
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ParenthoodStuff

Badges Of Honor From Seasons Of Life

by Jill July 26, 2012
written by Jill

It occurred to me last night, as I watched Jimmy Fallon sing “Walk Of Shame” with Dave Matthews during his primetime special, that I’m glad I experienced some of those not-all-that-fun at the time things during college, like a walk of shame or two.

At the time, I didn’t think sleeping on an air-mattress for 6 months in a crap-hole apartment or living off of Lipton Noodles (that I got for free from my roommate who happened to have some familial ties to the higher ups at Lipton) was all that funny or memory-making.

Valentines Day, 2002 – Be sure I wore that red lacy shirt home from Scott’s the next day, probably paired with a hijacked pair of his sweat pants. Don’t be too jealous of the decor! He builds things for me now, but I’m the one who decides what is and isn’t allowed to decorate our walls. 

Truthfully, I couldn’t WAIT to graduate from college (and did so a semester early) just so I could start making money, and feed and clothe myself properly. Yeah, I WANTED to give up that life of little to no obligations for a job and fresh produce. Oh, Jill.

But looking back, I love that I have those stories to tell, those life experiences to appreciate and hold over my kid’s heads.

“Back in MY day I didn’t EVEN HAVE A REAL BED TO SLEEP ON IN COLLEGE, and I lived off sodium, carbs, and VERY CHEAP BEER.”

I got to thinking last night. What are the things we’re living with now that will become the stories we laugh at and hold close to our hearts as badges of honor from this season of life?

Surely we’ll be able to laugh about sleep deprivation someday, assuming we survive it.

Taking small children to restaurants and spending our meal alternating shoving food in our mouths and catching food and utensils the kids are throwing before it hits a neighboring table -that will be HILARIOUS someday, right?

Climbing into bed, only to discover a pacifier, a pile of LEGOs and a half eaten banana will probably be adorable in the future.

When we’re 60, living a quiet life in our clean high-rise condo, are we going to be chuckling over all those times we had to push a load of clean laundry off the couch to sit down, only to eventually have to wash the same load of laundry again?

I try my very best to live in the moment, to take it all in, but when it’s 5:30 p.m. and the toddler is shouting “banananananananananananaNANANA” at me incessantly while the 4-year-old quietly destroys my makeup by mixing it into “magic potions” when he’s SUPPOSED to be pooping in the bathroom, I really just want to click my heels three times and fast forward to bedtime.

I don’t think there’s any way of knowing what I’ll look back on, misty eyed, with endearment. What will end up being my 30’s equivalent of the 20’s walk of shame.  I’m just going to assume that anything that involves the kids and causes me extreme embarrassment or costs us large sums of money to fix now is fair game.

What do you think you’ll remember as funny and endearing when you aren’t actually living through it in the future?

July 26, 2012 11 comments
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