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pregnancy & parenting

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    • Baby Registry Top Picks
    • Favorite Pregnancy Apps
  • The Book
  • Pregnancy
    • Birth Stories
    • Perinatal Mood Disorders
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      6 Stunning Photos You Would Never Guess Were…

      February 11, 2019

      Photography

      Simple Tips For Editing Snow Photos On Your…

      December 13, 2018

      Photography

      I Wrote A Photography eBook And This Is…

      December 6, 2018

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      Creative Lighting Ideas To Help You Take Great…

      November 27, 2018

      Photography

      Learn How To Take And Edit Photos On…

      November 19, 2018

  • Reviews
    • Reviews

      The Answer To Last Minute Holiday Gifting For…

      December 19, 2018

      Reviews

      I Was Never A Barbie Girl Until Now

      October 1, 2018

      Reviews

      Finally! Jeans For My Jean-Averse Kids!

      August 22, 2018

      Reviews

      If Your Kid Loves Dump Trucks & Garbage…

      August 13, 2018

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      Nobody Tell My Kids ABC Mouse Is Part…

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breastfeeding

What It's Really Like To Be A Mom Who Pumps At Work
Parenthood

What It’s Really Like To Be A Mom Who Pumps At Work

by Jill October 12, 2018
written by Jill

Ambrea Jackson is a Florida mom who recently shared her experience of what it’s like to be a nursing, pumping, and working mom on her Facebook profile.

Her post is resonating with a lot of mothers across the country who are feeling the exact same way.

I’m about to drop a truth bomb. Being a nursing, pumping full time working mom of 2 is HARD. Being a mom PERIOD is…

Posted by Ambrea Jackson on Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Here’s what Ambrea shared:

I’m about to drop a truth bomb.

Being a nursing, pumping full time working mom of 2 is HARD.

Being a mom PERIOD is HARD.

I feel like a burden to my team every day because I have to spend 20 minutes at a time pumping multiple times a day to keep my supply high enough to continue nursing my new baby.

Add in the house work, the homework with a 4 year old, a healthy sex life, focusing on my mental health and little to NO sleep during my work weeks and you have an exhausted pushed-past-your-limit day. Every day.

I often sit in my bed nursing my baby 10 minutes before my morning alarm for 5:50am goes off thinking “How can I make myself look like I have it all together today?” Because I don’t. I never have. I do what I can but often feel like it isn’t enough. I won’t even start on the mom guilt.

But, guess what? (SPOILER) we make it work. Every day we make it work. Much love to my sisters in this journey called parenthood. You are not alone.

Thank you, Ambrea, for sharing your message.

Moms, you are definitely NOT alone. If you know of someone who needs to read these words right now, send this post to them or share on social. Thanks for reading.

Here are some of our favourite resources for pumping at work:

  • Breast Pumping At Work Packing List
  • What You Need to Know About Pumping At Work Laws
  • Pumping at work? 7 expert tips to make your life easier

And if you need a breastmilk related laugh, there’s always this post from back in 2012. 😉

October 12, 2018 1 comment
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Denise Cortes- On Art And Breastfeeding | Parent I’d Like You To Know
Parent I'd Like You To Know

Denise Cortes- On Art And Breastfeeding | Parent I’d Like You To Know

by Jill August 7, 2018
written by Jill

I met Denise Cortes of PearMama.com on a media trip a couple years ago and have been following her work ever since. She’s not only a beautiful and vulnerable writer (and person!), but she’s also an amazingly talented artist.

Her colorful paintings brighten my IG feed, and when I saw this one when she first shared it I insisted she let me know when it would be available for sale so I could tell all of you. It’s finally available in her Etsy shop, just in time for World Breastfeeding Week/Month!

The description on her Etsy listing for this Milk|Leche, Body Positive Art Print reads:
If I have forgotten who I am, remind me. — Rumi 
We celebrate bodies of all kinds. Your body is beautiful. I make art to remind you.

Denise is offering $3 off this print the entire month of August.

I asked Denise a few questions about her art and motherhood and breastfeeding in honor of World Breastfeeding Week. Here’s what she generously shared:

You have 6 children, right? Did you breastfeed any/all of them? What were your own breastfeeding relationships like with them? Did it vary from baby to baby?

I go into it a little on my most recent blog post but yes, I breastfed all six of my children. With my first baby, I didn’t really know anything and didn’t have a support system in place so we stopped around 3 months. With my other five children, I was obsessed with the idea of fully breastfeeding. I just felt like it was so important for their growth and our health. The bonding aspect was a big deal to me as well — I really wanted that relationship with my babies. Sadly, I struggled with low milk production after each of my subsequent five births. I did it all: nursing on demand, I pumped, I took fenugreek pills, I drank copious amounts of Mother’s Milk tea (one whiff of licorice these days and my stomach turns) and used an SNS (supplemental nursing system) filled with a little bit of formula. I even rented a scale so I could make sure they were gaining enough weight. It worked. I was able to maintain a breastfeeding relationship with all of my babies and they were able to grow and thrive. The longest I breastfed was around 18 months.

What inspired you to paint this?

My inspiration was my own mother. She did not breastfeed her four children because it “just wasn’t something women did any more”. She was discouraged from breastfeeding and it always made me so sad. Her healing came when my sister and I began having babies. She watched us breastfeed, she encouraged me to keep trying even after one of my babies was diagnosed as failure to thrive and she was so happy to witness the bond we had with our babies as they nursed and that was so rewarding to me.

You are an experienced mom who has raised babies into teens and young adults now, so what wisdom would you pass onto a first time expecting mom, especially as it relates to feeding their baby?

The time you will spend breastfeeding your baby is so brief — enjoy it. Consider it a moment in your life when you have permission to slow down and really enjoy motherhood. There were moments I just wanted a break, when I wanted that particular stage to quickly pass us by, when I wanted some freedom and some space for my body! I mean, we all do. That doesn’t mean you’re a terrible mom. But looking back, I’d give anything to be able to lay chest to chest with my baby again. What a really, really special time in a mother’s life.

You can follow Denise on IG @PearMama, find her writing at PearMama.com, and her art on Etsy.

This is part of a new #ParentIdLikeYouToKnow series where I’ll share some of my favorite parents who are making and doing amazing things. I hope you’ll stay tuned!

August 7, 2018 6 comments
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I Am Breastfeeding My Toddler Around The Country
ToddlersTravel

I Am Breastfeeding My Toddler Around The Country

by Jill August 5, 2018
written by Jill

I mean we are currently traveling around the country, and I’m currently breastfeeding a toddler. So naturally I am breastfeeding my toddler around the country.

But also, I’ve made it a point to document many of the amazing places I’ve breastfed him along this trip, and they are some of my most treasured photos ever. (Backstory if you’re not familiar: we sold our house to live in an RV and drive around the US this year with our 4 kids.)

It started with a “get in the pictures” moment at White Sands National Monument at the beginning of the year. I was nursing Wallace while the rest of the family had a picnic lunch in the back of our truck, and I handed my camera to Scott. “Here, take a picture. I don’t have any pictures of me today yet.”

Breastfeeding My Toddler Around The Country

Then I joked that by the end of this trip I could have a whole collection of me breastfeeding in national parks and other beautiful places. People encouraged me to do just that, including some Instagram followers- one who suggested I use the hashtag #MotherNurtureMotherNature when sharing future nursing-in-nature pics, and that’s how my growing collection of these pictures began.

View this post on Instagram

From tiny seeds grow mighty trees. ? #mothernurturemothernature

A post shared by Jill Krause (@jillkraus.e) on May 11, 2018 at 7:03pm PDT

At the beginning of our trip, Wallace was just over a year old and still nursing quite a bit during the day so I really was having to stop and feed him while hiking and exploring quite often.  Of course, sometimes I took advantage of a really beautiful spot and offered him a snack, but many times it was just a natural opportunity to rest and feed him that presented as a photo opp.

View this post on Instagram

We couldn’t pass up an opportunity to take in the Grand Canyon while nursing. #mothernurturemothernature (And please don’t worry, there was a stretch of flat land beyond that wall. I didn’t breastfeed him on a cliff. ?)

A post shared by Jill Krause (@jillkraus.e) on Mar 24, 2018 at 8:09pm PDT

As the year has gone on, and Wallace is now breastfeeding less frequently throughout the day, the opportunities have dwindled. I regret not getting any at Yellowstone! But we’re also always keeping safety in mind, and Yellowstone really exhausted us just trying to keep an eye on the kids. We drove so much at Yellowstone that I mostly just nursed him in the truck after we stopped for a break.

I don’t think we’re done capturing these photos though. Not yet. As long as Wallace is breastfeeding while we’re visiting these valleys, forests, mountains, lakes, deserts, and oceans, I’ll gladly hand the camera over to my husband and request a picture. Wallace doesn’t seem to want to wean anytime soon, so chances are we’ll capture many more #MotherNurtureMotherNature shots this year.

View this post on Instagram

Wallace slept through the big kids working on their Jr Ranger badges and woke just in time for a brisk hike through the Petrified National Forest. Those aren’t rocks behind us! #mothernurturemothernature

A post shared by Jill Krause (@jillkraus.e) on Mar 16, 2018 at 5:39pm PDT

I really, really want to get a starry night sky photo of him enjoying a late night snack. I just need to work on my starry sky photo skills a bit. It’s my unicorn photo wish, though! I’m going to make it happen.

Have your own pics of you breastfeeding in the wild? Feel free to share them using the #MotherNurtureMotherNature hashtag, and be sure you’re following @BabyRabies on Instagram!

View this post on Instagram

Quick snack at the #tentrocks. Hiking makes you thirsty! ? #mothernurturemothernature

A post shared by Jill Krause (@jillkraus.e) on Mar 10, 2018 at 3:53pm PST

August 5, 2018 1 comment
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How To Boost Your Milk Supply With Lactation Bites
BabiesParenthood

How To Boost Your Milk Supply With Lactation Bites

by Désirée April 17, 2018
written by Désirée

Looking for a way to increase your milk supply while breastfeeding or pumping? Today’s guest post from Hello, Baby! is a great place to start! 

Continue Reading
April 17, 2018 2 comments
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“We buy more MoMos?”
BabiesToddlers

“We buy more MoMos?”

by Jill May 5, 2016
written by Jill

First, let me just acknowledge that I am usually a little skeeved out by the weird words/terms other people use to refer to their breastmilk- milkies, moomies, bobos, whatever… it’s all weird to me.

Except also? Lowell calls it MoMos. So here I am seeing you and understanding that that is a weird thing for some, and it’s okay to cringe at it because I GET YOU.

But back to the MoMos….

IMG_2037

They’re all dried up, done, completely defunct after nearly 3 years.

This is the longest I’ve nursed a baby by almost a full year, and I never intended for it to go this long, but I also DGAF. And I especially DGAF that you may GAF. So put your fucks away or leave.

So how? How did I get this child I thought would breastfeed FOREVER to give it up? Well, I just took a couple work trips and didn’t pump, made myself dry up, only made him cry about 3 times, and here we are now. I know, I should write a book.

I came back from a business trip over the weekend, and the first time he asked for “MoMos” was Monday after school. I explained that the MoMos are all gone, but he persisted, tearing at my shirt. So I was like, welp. I mean, you can try? But buddy, they are done.

And so after a couple sucks on one side, followed by a couple more on the other, he looked at me and said, “Momma? We buy more MoMos?” And that was that…. ish. Obviously we can’t buy more because not only do I not have access to a wet nurse, I’m certain I could not afford one. But we can buy more Lightning McQueen cars, so maybe that’s almost the same thing?

IMG_0116

May 5, 2016 26 comments
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Shake Those Money Makers: Tax Write-Offs for Parents {contributor}
contributors

Shake Those Money Makers: Tax Write-Offs for Parents {contributor}

by Julie Forbes March 4, 2016
written by Julie Forbes

We can always count on Julie Forbes to bring the intelligent and well-researched pieces to this blog. She doesn’t disappoint today! I had NO idea we could write off all the money Scott spent on the little league team last year! 

**************************************************

Who says being a stay-at-home parent doesn’t pay the bills?

Everyone.  Because it doesn’t.

But, that doesn’t mean you can’t claim some tax deductions.  All parents, whether you stay-at-home or are working, have plenty of opportunities to itemize.

You probably already know that each one of those money-sucking life forms you pop out grants you another ~$1,000 tax credit each year, and you get to add another exemption.

But there are quite a few others that you may not be aware of.

Here’s a breakdown of some parenting chores, and how they can help you at tax time:

Breast-feeding

Your boobs are tax deductible!  Ok, so maybe your boobs aren’t tax deductible, but if your breasts are milk-makers, they’ve now become money-makers.  Just recently, the IRS softened its stance and said that even though breastfeeding isn’t “medically necessary,” (meaning, it doesn’t require a prescription) it can be considered deductible.

You may know that health-related deductions typically fall into a category that doesn’t help you out unless you have medical deductions that add up to more than 10% of your annual income.  That’s usually a pretty high benchmark for people.  Don’t count it out just yet though because, remember, in the year that you deliver a baby, your medical expenses are probably higher than most years, so you could qualify.

And, if you don’t, Chris Williams, Managing Partner of Green Valley Taxes Inc., in Napa, California says, “Frankly, I think if you work and you have to pump milk because you’re not with the baby, I think you could take that deduction in a different part of the Schedule A which is subject to the 2% floor of the AGI,” (adjusted gross income, or your total salary).

What he’s saying is that because the IRS has announced that it will now consider breast-feeding as a health deduction, the logic would follow that if you are breastfeeding to allow you to work, than its now acceptable to claim it as a work expense.

And, you can also assume that anything associated with breast pumps would also be included (the IRS doesn’t exactly elaborate on these subjects).  But, logic would tell you that breast pumps don’t just fall into this category (as long as you didn’t receive it for free from your health insurance company), you could also claim all of the pieces of equipment you need to make breastfeeding happen: breastshields, tubing, milk storage containers, a sanitizer, bottles, etc.

If you’re thinking, “Man, I wish I would have known about this when my child was a baby!” you can always go back and file an amended return for the past 3 years.  It’s not too late to make those claims.

Laundry

Your regular load of food-stained onesies doesn’t count as a deduction, but if you or your spouse are required to wear a uniform to work (and, no I don’t mean that pair of yoga pants you wear everyday) that counts as a deduction.  A “uniform” is a set of clothing that you wouldn’t wear outside of work.  Think: a firefighter, a police officer, or even someone who wears medical scrubs.

These are all considered uniforms, so not only is the cost of these items deductible, but so is the upkeep or laundering of these items.  If you get them dry cleaned, hemmed or pressed, save the receipts.  And, if you do the laundry at home, add up the water, electricity and detergent that it took to keep that uniform clean throughout the year.

What exactly qualifies as a uniform?  Again, the IRS isn’t really big on details, but Williams says, for example, he would consider the dress clothes a doctor wears underneath his or her white coat to be a uniform, if the doctor changes clothes before they leave work.  Williams says, “Because it’s a medical situation and there are real concerns of germs, the types of clothing you’re wearing underneath is considered a uniform because you’re concerned about cross-contamination.”

Cooking

If only every grocery store run could be considered a deduction, it would take away the pain of the large bill at check-out, but that’s not the case.  But the food you buy that is considered, “medically necessary,” is.  For example, if you are breastfeeding and having trouble keeping up your supply, whatever the doctor recommends to help increase your supply would be considered medically necessary.  Or, if your child’s doctor recommends certain foods be added to their diet for health reasons, those too would be considered deductible.

(And, no, the wine you need to maintain your sanity does not count.)

Spring Cleaning

Who doesn’t love cleaning out the toy room, and getting rid of some of the junk?  Instead of handing it to a neighbor or friend, donate it to a charity, and watch the savings pour in.  “You’d be surprised how much that adds up by the end of the year,” says Williams.

It’s one of the few deductions that is not dependent on how much money you make.

Williams recommends that you don’t just get a receipt from the organization, but also take a picture of the pile you’re donating.  But, Williams says, “Don’t let a lack of receipt completely blow you out of the water with a deduction.  You only need a receipt if you’re challenged and audited.”  Williams goes on, “If you made the donation, you’re entitled to the deduction.  Claim it.”

IMG_1227

Coaching the Team

If you’re the one who got talked into coaching the little league team, you’re in luck!  You can’t deduct your time, but you can deduct all of the expenses that go into it.  If you need to buy any balls, helmets or bats for the team, those are all tax-deductible.  All of the miles you travel to practices and games are also deductible.  And, if you’re the team mom, the snack you buy is tax deductible.

You can’t just form a baseball team with the neighbors and write it all off though; this does have to be with a qualified organization.

Childcare

Most families probably know that if both parents are working, or looking for work, they can claim their childcare expenses.  Daycare or nanny care probably comes first to mind, but, did you know this also extends to after-school activities, summer camps and preschools?  This isn’t a tax deduction, it’s a tax credit, which means, money back in your pocket.

You’re allowed to claim up to $3,000 for one child and up to $6,000 for two or more children.

All the Single Ladies (and Guys)

If you’re a single mom or dad, you will get a big tax bump because you’re not considered “single” any more, but you’re now the “head of the household.”  And, that will bring you into a totally different tax calculation.

Hopefully, this helps take away some of the pain come tax time.

Do you have any other parenting tax deductions to add?  Please share!

Of course, we are not actual tax professionals and we can not guarantee the accuracy of anything in this post. Please consult your own tax professional if you have any questions.

TaxWriteOffsForParents

March 4, 2016 3 comments
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Please, Take This Pacifier As  A Substitute For My Breast, Toddler
BabiesParenthoodToddlers

Please, Take This Pacifier As A Substitute For My Breast, Toddler

by Jill January 5, 2016
written by Jill

I bought my nearly 2.5 year old 2 pacifiers for the first time in 2 years this week, desperate for him to find something else to suck on than my boobs.

Yes, I’m STILL breastfeeding my toddler. And YES, I’m actually okay with that. I’m okay with it about 2-3 times a day.

I am NOT okay with it 2-3 times a night, and while he’s watching Chuggington, and when he gets mad at his sister, and when he gets out of timeout.

It’s obviously comfort for him. I get that, and I’m not trying to take the comfort part away from him. I’m just trying to take my exhausted nipples away and replace them with a nipple that is devoid of nerve endings and need for sleep.

I do the don’t ask, don’t refuse thing, except now I really have to refuse because it’s just getting crazy. He asks to nurse more now than probably 6 months ago. His interest is doing the exact opposite of decreasing as he gets older.

So I bought him pacifiers. His sister LOVED pacifiers so much she didn’t give them up until she was 4. And now that I’m on the other side of that and she seems perfectly well adjusted, won’t shut up, and seems to have what looks like a normal smile, I’d be HAPPY if he loved them just as much.

Except he’s been spitting them out since he was 6 months old. But… but… maybe he just needs to give them one more chance! Or 20? Or however many times I need to put one in his mouth until he finally realizes it’s power.

I don’t know. This could take a while. So far, he’s handed it back to me every time (after trying to chew on the wrong end) and said, “No.”

IMG_7233

WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE?!

I know, I can already hear some of you- “You just need to learn to tell him no and walk away. Stop coddling him. This is gross.” 

  1. Fuck off.
  2. I AM telling him no, and our life is just DELIGHTFUL for it. Scott is exhausted because he has to go to Lowell’s room 2-3x a night and put him back in bed after he stands at his door, SCREAMING for me. Lowell follows me around the house trying to rip my sweaters off of me while crying incessantly. Trust, none of this makes me feel like a great mom.
  3. Also, it’s not “gross” and I’m okay with breastfeeding him for a while longer, JUST NOT SO MUCH.

I really, really don’t want to cut him off cold turkey. I just want a glimmer of hope that at some point in the not so distant future he’s not going to be so attached to me. Literally.

Well-meaning suggestions from non-assholes welcome.

January 5, 2016 83 comments
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Yup. STILL breastfeeding.
BabiesToddlers

Yup. STILL breastfeeding.

by Jill October 15, 2015
written by Jill

I was going to write this yesterday and title it something like, “Come at me, NURSE” but fortunately I’ve learned to cool off before I blog now (though sometimes I ignore that lesson).

I went to a first-aid medical practice yesterday that I’ve visited quite a bit over the years. During the routine questions the nurse asked before the doctor came in, it came up that I’m breastfeeding.

“How old is your little one?” she smiled.
“He’s a little over 2,” I replied.

“You’re STILL breastfeeding a TWO YEAR OLD?” she remarked, followed by what I can best describe as an audible eye-roll and an “Okaaaay…” as she entered something into my chart.

I was there for pink eye, not pink tits, gnawed to stumps by ferocious toddler. Her reaction seemed more on par with her learning I slept with a loaded gun between my baby and me.

Honestly, I was shocked. I mean, I know this kind of judgment exists. I’m a freaking mommy blogger. Come on. But, like, to my face… like that… from a nurse?

Uhm, no. This will not do.

So here’s a packet of papers I’m dropping off at the office first thing tomorrow.

stillbreastfeeding

It includes a letter to the doctor – the last line reads

“So I’ve taken the time to print a few helpful articles from reputable medical organizations that I hope you will share with her before she shames another mother.”

and print outs from the following links (WHO, Dr. Sears, MayoClinic). I may have got a touch aggressive with the Sharpie, underlining and circling points of interest.

The thing is, I’m not discouraged. When it’s time to stop we’ll stop.

nursinglowell

I breastfed my first until he was 13 months old, my second until 22 months, and they both were happy with when we stopped.

Lowell, at 26 months, is just not there yet. It would be AWFUL to stop right now. Not so much for me. Truly, I would be sad maybe for a day, but I’m pretty over it at this point.  But for him, it would be hard. And I’m just not ready to make my life a shade of hell right now over it. << All of that is a justification I owe nobody.

For another mom, though? Dude. What if she’s getting no support from home, and she encounters a response like this from a medical professional? What if this is the shame cherry on the shitty sundae she’s been dealing with?

You don’t have to cheer a breastfeeding mom on, but you should definitely keep your judgement to yourself, ESPECIALLY when you are a medical professional. You already know about my monthly cycle, how much I weigh, and all about my cysticle. I could do without the unsolicited and unnecessary opinions. We all could.

 

October 15, 2015 50 comments
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25 Year Old Me Was Dumb, Part 2
BabiesGreen LivingParenthoodPregnancySchool Age DaysToddlers

25 Year Old Me Was Dumb, Part 2

by Jill June 23, 2015
written by Jill

Did you read Part 1? 

Dear pregnant me,

I know you think you have this figured out. You did your research, read the websites, the forums, the books. You have a plan.

You’ve pledged to a brand of parenting that you believe will provide you with all the answers. You will be an attachment parent who cloth diapers, breastfeeds, and has a med-free birth with a midwife. Your research tells you this is the BEST kind of parent to be, so naturally you could choose no other method.

You plan to fill your baby’s room with a few carefully chosen wooden toys. He will sleep on an organic sheet. You will wrap him tight to you and wear him all day.

This will make him a kind, obedient, well-mannered and confident child. And you will be zen and bonded.

Because you think you have the answers. 

Oh, sweetie. KARMA IS COMING.

F_JillMaternity2008_044

Dear new mom me,

I see you awkwardly wearing this role, struggling to ace your first performance review. There are a lot of emotions.

Of course, you expected to feel exhausted and overwhelmed with love. You didn’t expect to feel just plain overwhelmed all. the. time.

He never stops crying. He is literally sucking chunks of flesh off your nipples. You HATE breastfeeding him.

You don’t look at him lovingly while he nurses. Instead, you throw tubes of lanolin across the room, dropping f-bombs and tears on the top of his head.

 

You wrap him tightly and wear him because that is SUPPOSED to calm him. But he only sleeps if you are constantly walking AND jumping at the same time.

Sometimes… a lot of times, you are so over holding him that you want to put him down, walk away, and let him cry.

You are drowning in guilt… because you are mad at him, because your plan isn’t working, because you think you are failing your job.

crawling

Somehow – you really don’t know how because you block it from your memory – you make it through colic.

Your nipples heal, breastfeeding becomes almost enjoyable, you make your first batch of baby food, and sign up for Gymboree classes.

You feel like you’re beginning to ace this gig, with the exception of one small detail.

He. Never. Sleeps. You breastfeed him almost every hour at night. You run to his every cry. He is your entire world, and he is sucking the life out of you.

And you’re beyond exhausted, you’ve been sick for 3 months, but you push through because good moms must always be exhausted, you think.

feb09

He grows into toddlerhood, and you struggle with discipline. Mostly because it seems you can’t MAKE him do anything, no matter what you try.

You are torn between being the gentle parent you pledged to be, and the parent with a kid who behaves perfectly.

Why isn’t this approach working? Isn’t he supposed to trust me? To feel bonded to me? Isn’t he supposed to be calm and sweet?

Would it be different if I spanked him? Would he listen better? Would he sit still at restaurants? Stop throwing forks from the table and crying for cookies in the grocery store?

You feel judged, and get hot and angry, hovering over him in public to be sure he doesn’t annoy others with his behavior.

You are quick to correct him, scold him, you are ALWAYS telling him no.

Don’t these people understand I’m TRYING? Why are they looking at me? Don’t they understand timeouts don’t work? Nothing works.

Hang in there, momma.

With a 2nd baby comes a little wisdom… an epiphany.

Other people aren’t judging you. Well, maybe they are, but their voices aren’t the ones in your head telling you you’re a bad mother.

That? Would be YOU – 25 year old you.

Sure, other people shoot you a look when your toddler throws himself to the ground in a parking lot while you’re struggling to get your baby into your Ergo, but who wouldn’t look at that scene?

They’re probably just glad it’s not them…. this time.

YOUR voice is the one in your head, hours later, mocking your parenting in-abilities. YOUR voice is the one that needs to be silenced- your 25 year old voice.

And not only do you need to tell her to shut the eff up, but you need to give yourself permission to stray from the rigid standards you pledged yourself to.

 

ONE of the smartest things you do is reclassify yourself as a hybrid parent, which is really just a way of saying you’re the kind of parent who’s going to do whatever works- gently sleep training your one year old, breastfeeding your toddler, and buying them chicken nuggets.

THE smartest thing you do is get help for postpartum anxiety and OCD. Because all these feelings you’ve been struggling with for 3 years of impending doom, anger, and the idea you were never meant to have children?

They didn’t bubble up because you’re a bad mom. They were symptoms of being sick.

In so many ways you’ve become the mother you never thought you’d be.

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Your 25 year old self would die if she got a whiff of your SUV (though she would be quite happy you haven’t given into the minivan).

She would definitely judge you if she saw you with all 3 kids at Target.

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Your 7 year old would be running down the aisles, like an animal off his leash.
Your 4 year old would look like her hair had never been brushed, and she’d be carrying some hideous plastic toy.
Your toddler would be wearing a Thomas the Train shirt and no shoes.
Your cart would be full of organic milk, cheese puffs, and chicken nuggets. (And wine because somethings never change.)

She would side eye you, and go down the next aisle to avoid your traveling circus.

But don’t you worry. She is the dumbest, and she would make a TERRIBLE mother.

Rock on, me. You’ve got this.

Love,
You

June 23, 2015 5 comments
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Oh Please, Get Over This Myth
Babies

Oh Please, Get Over This Myth

by Jill April 9, 2015
written by Jill

Myth: Feeding your baby is for bonding and turning off life, looking into their eyes, and devoting all your attention to them while you feed them.

It’s only for a short time. Surely you can devote all your love to them and cherish these small moments when you can.

Obviously you will master the bonding the best if you are breastfeeding. For the poor bottle feeders, you really need to overcompensate for the lack of bonding you’re susceptible to by being EXTRA present when you feed a bottle to your child.

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Reality: Breastfeeding is one of many ways we can nourish our children who eat quite frequently, sometimes breastfeeding for years. Bottle feeding offers the same amount of bonding opportunities.

Sometimes you may bond with your baby while feeding them via either breast or bottle and stare at them lovingly. Other times, a lot of the time, you will watch TV, drink something, check Facebook, eat, or yell at your other children while you feed them.

AND THIS IS OKAY AND NORMAL.

A photo posted by Jill Krause (@babyrabies) on Dec 30, 2013 at 3:18pm PST

 

This PSA brought to you by the rage I felt reading some comments on my friend Jamie’s (TheBabyGuyNYC) Facebook page the other day in response to a device that helps bottle feeding parents feed their baby one-handed.

May every parent, breast or bottle-feeder, feel guilt free about doing something other than bonding with their baby when they are feeding their baby. 

 

April 9, 2015 9 comments
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