blogher10

I promise.

I just want to get some things down before I forget them next year, mainly for myself, but also for those of you thinking about making Blogher 2011 your first blogging conference. (It will be in San Diego!)

1. Build in time to do sight seeing in addition to the days you’re spending at the conference. I’ve been to NYC several times and didn’t feel pressured to see anything beyond the hotel, which was good because I wouldn’t have had any time (or energy) for sightseeing the Thursday evening through Sunday morning I was there. However, I would very much like to see San Diego, so I’m thinking we’re going to have to build in at least one extra day into the trip next year (and I’m hoping to drag my husband along with me to play baby wrangler to our then 8ish month old baby girl who will most likely still be breastfeeding). I’m sort of with Maria Melee on this. “I kind of wish these conferences were in really boring places so I’d stay in the hotel.”

2. Remain comfortable while striving to not look like a slouch. I packed 6 pairs of shoes, about 3 too many. I wound up wearing a very comfy, practical, yet stylish pair of patent leather flats during the day because my feet just couldn’t take even the tiniest of kitten heels I planned to wear. I saved the tortuous heels for evening events. I was happy with my wardrobe choices, which included stylish, but comfy (maternity) jeans and dressy tops for day and forgiving, breathable and comfortable dresses for night (that I spiced up with lots of fun accessories). Originally, I hated that so much of my wardrobe was black, but it was super easy to dress up or dress down, and I felt great in all of it. And despite all the hype and fashion buzz leading up to the event, it actually wasn’t an intimidating fashion show. Everyone seemed very down to earth and looked lovely. Don’t feel like you have to stock up on couture to fit in.

3. Bring a great, big, lightweight bag. I originally planned to bring my Coach diaper bag turned laptop bag until Ju-Ju-Be offered to hook me up with a Mighty Be to use at the conference and bring home with me. I’m so GLAD I took them up on the super sweet offer. That bag was a lifesaver (and a shoulder saver). It had plenty of pockets for everything I had to carry with me (laptop, camera, sunglasses, cards, Tums, Tylenol, gloss, etc. etc. etc.), AND it was super light and expanded to hold all the extra stuff I seemed to accumulate throughout the day (like swag from the Expo). I have a feeling this bag just earned heavy rotation in my growing collection. Whatever bag you choose to bring, make sure it’s got plenty of room, is easy to get in and out of, and is comfortable to carry.

4. Business cards are a must, but you don’t have to have a million of them… or even 250 (in my case). For some reason I thought I’d be swapping cards with every person I made eye contact with, but that really wasn’t the case. I’d say I came home with and gave out about 50 cards to people I made connections with, and I put about 20 of them in various fish bowls for giveaways (cue mass amounts of spam in my inbox now). Of course, this probably varies greatly for everyone. There were many, many more giveaways that I didn’t drop my business card for, and I’m sure I could have worked harder to network with more people. That said, I really don’t know how one would go through more than 250. So when you have them printed up, try to keep them non-Blogher specific so that you can use them at other conferences and while networking other ways.

5. Make connections PRIOR to the conference. The thing is, there ARE cliques, there WILL be groups of women who appear to be having the time of their life with each other and it’s HUGELY intimidating to approach them. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing at all. It’s natural. People who “know” each other already are going to gravitate to each other, share inside jokes, travel in herds. That doesn’t mean they don’t want to make new friends. My suggestion is to reach out to people prior to the conference, be proactive, set “dates” to hang out, and most importantly- GET PHONE NUMBERS. The people I successfully managed to meet up with were the people I was able to text and/or call. There were several others I would have *loved* to get together with that I missed because I figured I could just tweet or email them. That never worked. Twitter and email aren’t nearly as effective as texting to get in touch immediately with someone. And with the very limited amount of free time (and the massive waits for the elevators), timing is everything. Waiting for 5 minutes for a reply to a tweet isn’t an option.

6. Expounding on that last point a bit more, MAKE CONNECTIONS PRIOR TO THE CONFERENCE. Sure, Blogher is for anybody. You don’t have to be a “big bloggger.” Nobody is going to ask your stats or your feed count. However, I really encourage you to reach out and make real friendships before going, even if that’s just over Twitter (if you are not on Twitter yet, GO THERE NOW). You know that saying about being lonely in a big crowd, or something like that? That’s exactly what I imagine it’s like for someone who just shows up at Blogher without really “knowing” anyone. Like I said before, it’s not that people don’t want to make friends, but most will already have a group, or one or two people there that they will naturally gravitate to at lunch, between sessions, at parties. Try to have your own little circle in place before you go so when you get overwhelmed or need a wing man to approach that one blogger who you just adore but can’t get the nerve up to say hi, they’re there for you.

7. Have more than one circle. You know how certain bloggers tend to run in the same circles? Maybe you feel like you belong to more than one. Make it a point to hang out with bloggers from different circles. If everyone you meet up with already knows each other, you won’t be presented with the chance to get to know that many new people organically (casual introductions vs. the networking equivalent of cold calling).

8. Go to sessions. Duh, right? But seriously, there are a lot of distractions (the Expo, parties, your bed). I mean, if it’s your 7th Blogher and you’ve heard all there is to hear about blogging, I can understand wanting to go just to see friends and nom on cheeseburgers, but if it’s your 1st? Go to sessions. This is why you’re here. And while the Expo can be fun (and the sponsors in it help make Blogher possible, so it’s nice to show your support), it’s easy to get sucked in for hours. My opinion? You’re not there to collect freebies, you’re there to make connections and to learn about, well, blogging. Granted, some great connections can be made on the Expo floor, and I’m not meaning to diss it. I spent 45 minutes in it and wish I could have spent more, but my options were skip a session, skip lunch or skimp on the Expo. I would actually really love if Expo hours were extended next year so we’re not faced with this choice. And you’re going to have to sacrifice sleep. Know that going into this.

9. Start saving. You’ve got 12 months to save up for Blogher 2011. I will be completely honest with you all. My total trip cost right at $1,000, including plane ticket (RT from DFW to LGA), conference pass (early bird), hotel (with 3 roommates for 3 nights), transportation, food (which I didn’t spend much on because I didn’t have time to eat), and coffee. Now, this total doesn’t include the mini-shopping spree I went on for new outfits, but I’m classifying that under “maternity expenses.” Divided out, that’s roughly $84 a month, and can be done much cheaper if you are in driving distance to the conference location. If you really want to go, start saving now. Put birthday money aside, ask for Blogher money in lieu of a Christmas present from your significant other. Sure you can try to get a sponsor (something I was lucky enough to swing, thanks to the awesome sponsorship BornFree gave me), but save as if you won’t have one.

10. Just GO. I’m talking to you… yeah, YOU. The blogger who’s sitting there saying to herself/himself, “I’m not big enough. I don’t know anyone. I can’t afford it.” When I first signed up for Twitter at the beginning of 2009 was the first time I started to hear about Blogher. I figured I wasn’t big enough, didn’t know anyone, couldn’t afford it. I didn’t go last year, and I sat home reading all the #blogher09 tweets with regret. I should have been there. I should have made it happen. I vowed I would do everything I could to make it this year. When some of my friends started to express the same concerns at the beginning of this year I told them to knock it off. I told them what I wish someone would have told me last year. And I hung out (and even roomed) with them this year. So if you think you want to go, just GO.

I *think* (hope?) that wraps up all I have to say about Blogher this year. For those of you who don’t give a damn, I’m sorry and I promise to get back to regular blogging now. I just felt like it was like childbirth in the sense that I had to get that all out as quickly as possible before my brain started purging memory files to make room for things like the new dates for Kendall’s Mother’s Day Out program and the words to the new Fresh Beat Band song.

If you missed my other two re-caps and feel like reading a novel, you can check here and here.

Day 2 of the conference was tough to get going for. The minimal sleep and non-existent naps really caught up to me. So Mandy and I headed out to Starbucks to fuel up, where we ran into Jen (who may not be the world’s most prolific blogger, but the girl can tweet her ass off).

SOOOOOOOOO sleepy

I briefly contemplated skipping a session that day to catch up on some sleep and to hit up the Expo, but after sitting through my first session of the day, I snapped out of it. I was here to learn, to be inspired, to take something away from this more than free sponges and coffee mugs. Sleep be damned, I’d sleep when I got home. Baby girl would just have to deal with the extra dose of caffeine it would take to get me through the day.

I think so much of that is because my first session of the day was just. so. awesome. “Radical Blogging Moms” was lead by 2 women I’m alredy inspired by (Annie and Joanne). Plus, I got to know Stephanie and was so drawn to her story of leaving her corporate career to follow her dream to do documentary photography and lead by example while teaching her children to be okay with living with less. The pictures up throughout the session were from her project PictureHope, and I really encourage you to check it out.

I came out of this session empowered, inspired, ready to stand taller for what I believe in. A point that really resonated with me was that there’s this feeling shared among many women that once you become a mother you have to fight *harder* to get people to take you seriously, that the issues you’re standing for aren’t taken as seriously. And that pisses me off. The only way to change is for all of us to keep fighting, keep writing, keep speaking. I could go on and on with my fist raised in the air and type for hours on this, but the rest of the recap awaits… I’ll just say I’m damn glad I didn’t skip this session to collect all the free tissues and sausage my heart desired and tote bag could fit at the Expo.

After a freaking delicious lunch (seriously, gourmet) at the Hilton, it was back to business with 2 more sessions.

First up, I sat in on “The Evolving Publishing Ecosystem” where I got a ton of insight into how the publishing system works today, how much is expected of writers (and bloggers), and how to maybe get this manuscript I’ve been sitting on for over a year finished up and fancied up enough to appeal to publishers and agents.

Then to finish off my day, like a delicious, hilarious, f-bomb dropping cherry on top of a c-word dropping sundae, I got to sit in on a “session” that felt more like a date at The Improv. “Humor Writing” is such an innocuous title for such a fiery discussion lead by piss-my-pants worthy women. Once again, I was inspired. This time to censor less, to be more transparent, to have a thicker skin, to blog more but keep it brief. To just… be more funny.

Confession: I teared up a bit in the Humor Writing session because I sat there and realized that I had found ME in all aspects at this conference. I was amongst my crunchy and slightly crunchy sisters, women who were fighting hard for things I believe in, and I was amongst the gals who could understand my made up language that consists of the f-word every sentence. I was with all my tribes, and it all gelled. It all fit. I didn’t feel pressured to be a part of any one mold. I was free to be *every* aspect of myself, and I hope I show that all more here as time goes by. Sure, I’m funny. Sure, I’m passionate. Sure, I try to be “eco-friendly.” I’m all of it. So don’t stick around if you’re hoping for me to show just one slice of that here all the time. This blog is a reflection of me, as a whole, and I’m ready to broaden that. I hope you’ll hang around for the ride.

The end of the day marked the end of the conference and it all started to sink in that this was getting close to the grand finale. We were going to go out with a bang, though. A big, SPARKLY bang. And so my 3 lovely roommates and I put on our prettiest dresses, our fanciest shoes and obnoxious accessories in preparation for Sparklecorn.

In my last minute shopping spree I grabbed (what I thought to be) 2 cans of spray on glitter, one gold and one pink, from Claire’s (my first purchase from that store since I was, likely, 12). Right before we were about to head out, I grabbed my can of pink glitter and aimed it straight at my rockin’ cleavage. I mean, if there is ever a place to spray glitter, it’s your cleavage, right? Except it wasn’t glitter…

I don’t think this picture accurately conveys PEEEEENNNK that was all over my boobs, and it could be that this was snapped after Mae so kindly cleaned much of it off of me after I squealed, “Get if off!!”

We all laughed so hard I can’t believe a wardrobe change (or at least panty change) wasn’t required for any of us. Turns out that can was actually pink hair spray, not glitter.

Wardrobe malfunctions aside (oh, it was a hoot watching Mandy try to get her fishnet tights on), we cleaned up real nice if I do say so myself.

Sparklecorn was all it promised to be. Sparkly, fun, dancing, glow sticks. UNICORN CAKE by Charm City Cakes!

We shook it on the dance floor, and the stage, and by the table. And when it was over, we crashed a little party called CheesburgHer. Beth Anne and I were particularly ravenous and vowed to get our hands on some of the so good but so bad McDonalds cheeseburgers promised to be at the affair. There were lounge beds and a photo booth and more dancing. Honestly, had it just been a cold, concrete room with nothing but stacks of cheeseburgers, that would have been enough for me. Did I mention I never really had time to eat at Blogher? More on that in my next post.

Oh, yes. I’m still not done. The next one will be for those of you who plan to go next year (and for myself so I don’t forget).

For now, I’m going to take a nap and dream of eating another cheeseburger. Hell, I might even have to have one for dinner. I think my appetite is still making up for all the meals I skipped over the weekend.

(If you missed my recap part 1, check here.)

I’m home! Okay, I say that as if I just walked in the door, but I’ve been here since yesterday evening. However, my brain? Possibly still in NYC. I had to leave *something* there to make room for all the awesome goodies (swag) I got to bring home with me. So this re-cap post will just hit some of the highlights and throw some pictures at you. I hope to have a more thought out one, sort of an advice column to myself for next year sometime tomorrow.

My travel to NYC was strangely uneventful. All flights were on time, all baggage arrived where it should, and the Super Shuttle had working AC and a driver who I’m sort of confident had a valid license (which was all great for my schedule and bad for my blogging muse). I got to the Hilton just in time to check in, change clothes and walk 11 blocks to the SocialLuxe party. 11 blocks doesn’t sound that bad. I mean, I run marathons, I could totally walk 11 blocks over waiting 45 minutes for a cab… except I don’t run marathons in heels 20 weeks pregnant. I arrived a bit of disheveled mess, but it didn’t matter because I still had a kick ass time (and no, I didn’t win, but still SO honored to be nominated and amongst those who did- truly). I finally met up with Gina from The Feminist Breeder and we had a lovely time partaking in all the events festivities, like free massages and manicures. I should be getting a nursing tank from Yummie Tummie in the mail soon after stopping by to speak with them. And then we finished off the night by getting our glam on and taking this:

We split a bicycle taxi on the way back to the hotel, which we managed to negotiate down from $25 to $10 (we were so street). The driver did try to convince us to make up for the difference by kissing each other, and I realized we might be able to get a lot of things for cheap in NYC if we were willing to agree to some girl on girl action. He had already agreed to the flat price of $10, though, before we even boarded so I didn’t think his additional request was all that fair.

After finally meeting all of my roomies (Mae, Mandy and Beth Anne), we got to head down to the second party of the night- The People’s Party, then we finally crashed in the room around midnight. The alarm was set for 6:15 the next morning so Beth Anne and I could get up and put on our #tutusfortanner.

Beth Anne, being the dedicated person she is, actually managed to get her butt out of bed on time and partake in the 5k. I (being the pregnant and totally exhausted person I am), put on my tutu and headed downstairs around 7ish and just wore the thing through breakfast to show my support (it’s the thought that counts, right?).

My first session was “Making Your Passion Work For You” (click here for a link to the session’s live blog) where I got a few ideas and nuggets of inspiration to do more with my new venture Party Like A Kid. In my fantasy future, PLK runs more like a business for me and this place stays my personal sanctuary, so this was not only a great way to kick off the learning part of Blogher, but also to open the floodgates of inspiration.

I skipped the second session to head over to the Getting Gorgeous event where I had my hair done by the Remington team and came home with SO. MANY amazing goodies, like a pair of jeans I plan to wear postpartum that promise to make me look 10 lbs. lighter in 10 seconds. TALL order, I know. I’ll be sure to let you all know if they are true to their word when the time comes. It was really an amazing event.

I managed to squeeze in a quick coffee date with Jenn, owner and creator of Bum Genius diapers (and the company Cotton Babies), and her lovely assistant Libby. It was one of the highlights of my weekend. I got so much insight into the process of how they go about developing new products and what the thought process was behind the changes in the new Bum Genius 4.0 diapers. These ladies are really on top of their game, and I love that they are striving to appeal to the masses, to make it easier for anyone to cloth diaper their baby. I’ve always been a super huge fan of their diapers, as many of you who have kept up with my cloth diapering experience may know, but it makes me even happier to purchase and use their products knowing such genuine and kind people are behind the name.

Jenn and I enjoying a little liquid energy

My second and last session of the day was “How To Take Great Pictures,” which promised I didn’t need a fancy SLR to participate. And though many of the tips (like the rule of thirds and paying attention to naturally occurring lines) were something I’d heard and worked with back in my video days at the J-school, there were many more that were new to me. My favorite? Don’t take pictures of sleeping babies in boxes. It’s morbid. Ha! I typed out the most thorough notes I could, knowing so many of you would be most interested in what I took away from this session, but you know what’s so much better than the jumbled mess I created in Word? The live blog you can read here.

After my last session of the day, I took some time to meet up and pass out some of the Twist N’Pop straw cups BornFree provided for the conference. I am SO, SO grateful they sent me as their Blogher Ambassador. It was wonderful representing such a well loved company and the cups were very well received.

Then it was a quick wardrobe change and out the door to the Babble.com party at a swanky bar with Gina, Leah, Danielle, Jennifer (and her precious 4 week old baby girl)and Tina. The highlight of the party was when Gina snuck off to the bar’s bathroom to pee on a stick and discover that, after 8 months of trying, she’s finally pregnant with her 3rd!! Here she is all glowy and gushy minutes after finding out:

And here we all are celebrating with her by taking Shirley Temple shots (bartender’s idea- how cute is that?!).

The final stop for the night for me was back at the Gala, where Jenny the Bloggess let my aura wash over her and then typed a little snippet all about my boobs. This awesome moment brought to you by my fetus who made my jugs grow again to their once glorious size:

Thank you, Jenny, for making me feel like a college girl piece of meat sports bar waitress again. It was refreshing and missed.

I’m going to end this here, and no, it’s not the whole story. 1. I am aiming to be a little less long winded as a new goal around here so that I may post more frequently and you may roll your eyes less at the walls of paragraphs I vomit onto the keyboard. 2. I’m f-ing exhausted y’all. And just *writing* about Blogher is taking everything out of me. So I’ll be back with part 2 tomorrow and then hopefully my advice column to myself along with it.

I’m taking my glorious breasts and sizeable bump to bed.

Kendall is 2 and survived the weekend with his dad just fine, and I’m 20 weeks pregnant.

I had every intention of getting a potty training progress report up for you all before I called it quits for the week on here, but I’m too busy FREAKING OUT (while simultaneously procrastinating) about flying to NYC tomorrow morning for 4 days where I will have the honor of rubbing elbows (and hopefully speaking to) a lot of super awesome blogging ladies (and gents!). I really hope I can pull this off without coming off as a chihuahua on Red Bull.

I get to attend informative and inspiring sessions, cocktail parties, dress up, shower uninterrupted and leave my diaper bag at home. I get to go a whole 4 days without reminding myself every 45 minutes to take the toddler to the toilet! I don’t have to make 2 plates at every meal, I won’t have to worry about sharing my really yummy snacks or hiding them. My water bottle will not be tainted with slime and floaties. I’d like to pretend that my conversations will be entirely about things that don’t revolve around poop and tantrums, but who am I kidding? I’ll commiserate with anyone who will listen. They will, however, be uninterrupted by the constant sound of, “MOMMA!” in the background.

Oh sure, I’ll miss the little terrorist, but this grown-up break is coming at the perfect time. He and his father could really use the bonding time in this hellish heat. They will, undoubtedly, eat leftover pizza the whole time, and I’ll be lucky if they go to the pool because that will probably be the only “bathing” they do. Truthfully, though, I know he’ll be an angel for his father because that’s what happens when I’m not around- he’s marvelous.

I am so, so, so grateful to my fantabulous sponsor BornFree for sending me. If you’re going to be at Blogher, too (or if you’re reading this from Blogher), please find me so I can give you some awesome BornFree products! And if you can’t make it, don’t worry. I have three prize packs that I’m giving away to people at home. Keep an eye on my Twitter account and my Facebook page over the next few days to see how to win.

I’ve got my business cards ready, my outfits picked out, my teeny tiny toiletries purchased. I even have two cans of spray on body glitter for Sparklecorn Saturday night. The whole thing feels like getting ready to head to cheerleading camp… but that’s just the chihuahua who might pee if she gets too excited in me speaking. Now I just need to make myself pack, which is quite the daunting task at this point, and one I feel might require a Frosty from Wendys before starting… or a nap… or both. Oh yes, I will be up until midnight. Also? I have to make a tutu to run/walk in to support this brave guy.

While I’m looking forward to all I’ll learn and to the parties and the dressing up, I’m most looking forward to finally putting a face and an audible voice to these inspiring and powerful bloggers I’ve come to know over the last few years. If I leave Blogher with just a handful of real new relationships, that will be worth more than all the swag in the world.

I may or may not blog from the road, post pictures, etc. I’m not going to commit to anything, though. My schedule is packed from the minute my feet touch the ground at LGA, and right now I’m just really worried about how I’m going to make it through 4 days without a nap. I’ll be sure to check back in on Monday with at least a tiny recap.

Finally, just allow me to get a touch sappy with you all for a minute. THANK YOU. No, really. Thank you, thank you so much for reading, for commenting, for emailing, for supporting me and laughing with me. This blog has taken me on quite the amazing journey the last few years and I’ve loved getting to know so many of you. Thank you for peeking into my world and sharing yours with me. I never intended for this “place” to become what it has for me, but I’m grateful for the way it’s grown the opportunities it’s given me, and none of that would be possible without you all and the relationships I’ve made here. Not only is this a creative outlet for me and an escape, but it’s also a place where I can hear from people who can relate, who will give me advice, who will make me feel a little less isolated, a little more “normal.” Baby Rabies may be up for Blog I’ve Learned The Most From at the BlogLuxe awards (and, again, thank you for that!), but I am the one who has learned the most from all of you.

Have a wonderful end of the week and weekend! I’ll be back next week and I promise to get around to doing what I do best these days- discussing toddler poop and how to get it into a toilet. I’m sure I’ll have many misadventures to share, too.

If you’re just now coming to my blog, perhaps after seeing me at Blogher (or after I assaulted you with my high-pitched, super fast speaking voice as I attempted to introduce myself to you), and want to know more about me (or how to put a restraining order on me), check out my “About” page and these links (though not completely updated, but a good overview of the first couple years on here- sorry! freaking out has really stunted my productivity and this project fell to the wayside). Most of all, feel free to email me or reach out to me on Twitter or Facebook. I know I won’t get to talk to every person there, and certainly not for the length of time I wish I could. I hope we can get to know each other more after the conference.