Wait… not like THE END THE LAST DAY HAVING THE BABY RIGHT NOW. Not trying to alarm anyone. The baby is still tucked away up in my uterus. I show no signs of labor at the moment. But I’m nearly 39 weeks pregnant, which seems WAY more pregnant than nearly 38 weeks did a week ago.
I still haven’t grasped the idea that I’m having another baby very, very soon. It’s like I was never able to shake off this fog of disbelief for the entirety of this surprise pregnancy. I’m semi prepared, I guess, in that I have been there before- twice- so what more do I need to know? But also very, very unprepared.
I thought I was going into real labor a couple nights ago when a 5 hour stretch of painful contractions kept me from sleeping. I sat in my tub at 4:30 in the morning and begged them to stop. I pleaded with them to give me more time. I promised I’d get my shit together the very next day if they went away, but then I needed to sleep that entire day. And then I needed to take a 4 hour nap today. Sometimes I think the only way I’m preparing for this baby is by sleeping at inconvenient times.
On the bright side, my toe is healing. It still hurts a little when I walk. And it hurts A LOT when my toddler stomps on it mid-tantrum. But, at least I can walk on it now.
As “over it” as I am right now, I don’t want this baby to come any sooner than next Monday. It’s a long story, but the short of it is our childcare situation for Kendall and Leyna won’t be solid until then. I think that’s what’s causing me the most anxiety right now.
I just really don’t want to go into labor and have to stress about which friend is home and awake and can watch the kids for however long it takes for me to have this baby, and then Scott having to leave me at the hospital to go home to them. Of course, it’s not a huge problem in the grand scheme of things, and we’ll be fine. I’d just much rather have my sister here to abandon the children with from the start.
This is my “over it” face, sporting a bump that itches every time I pull a shirt down over it, and surrounded by a messy house because I’m too tired to care.
So that’s where I’m at. An update. I realize I’ve been super crappy about doing those here. On the blog. I’ve been complaining and updating plenty on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. But if you don’t check in over there, you may have been wondering …. or not.