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Baby Rabies

pregnancy & parenting

  • Start Here
    • About Baby Rabies
    • Baby Registry Top Picks
    • Favorite Pregnancy Apps
  • The Book
  • Pregnancy
    • Birth Stories
    • Perinatal Mood Disorders
  • Parenthood
    • Babies
    • Toddlers
    • School Age Kids
    • Parenting LOLZ
  • Photography
    • Photography

      6 Stunning Photos You Would Never Guess Were…

      February 11, 2019

      Photography

      Simple Tips For Editing Snow Photos On Your…

      December 13, 2018

      Photography

      I Wrote A Photography eBook And This Is…

      December 6, 2018

      Photography

      Creative Lighting Ideas To Help You Take Great…

      November 27, 2018

      Photography

      Learn How To Take And Edit Photos On…

      November 19, 2018

  • Reviews
    • Reviews

      The Answer To Last Minute Holiday Gifting For…

      December 19, 2018

      Reviews

      I Was Never A Barbie Girl Until Now

      October 1, 2018

      Reviews

      Finally! Jeans For My Jean-Averse Kids!

      August 22, 2018

      Reviews

      If Your Kid Loves Dump Trucks & Garbage…

      August 13, 2018

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      Nobody Tell My Kids ABC Mouse Is Part…

      September 4, 2017

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2nd trimester

How To Tell If You’re Pregnant
Pregnancy

How To Tell If You’re Pregnant

by Jill September 14, 2016
written by Jill

I grunt when I move, I pee 4 times a night, I have to brace myself against something to catch my breath after walking up our stairs. This marks the beginning of the “I feel super pregnant” phase. Timely, considering I’ve only got about a week and a half left in the 2nd trimester. OMGWTFCERVIX.

As I flopped my belly from one side to the other while trying to position myself in bed last night, a feeble attempt to fight off insomnia, I had to wonder just how the ever loving f**K does anyone not know they are pregnant.

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Listen, I’m not saying they are lying, and I know a lot of issues come into play here. I believe them. It’s not my experience, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

Having been through this 4 times now, though, perhaps I can shed some light. Beyond just a missed period for a long stretch of time, nausea, and weight gain, there are some other tell-tale signs you’re with child that may not be so widely known.

YOU MIGHT BE PREGNANT IF…

You burp lava after drinking a glass of water.  It’s technically called reflux, but that doesn’t really do enough to describe the intense feeling of your stomach erupting up through your throat for NO APPARENT REASON.

You suddenly can’t stand the thought of anyone touching you, ESPECIALLY your significant other. Husband aversions are one of my biggest pregnancy symptoms. You may not be falling out of love! It could just be a fetus. Don’t rush to divorce until you take a pregnancy test because you could definitely use their help with midnight diaper changes, and you’ll probably like them again after a while.

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You want a Frosty, but only if it’s not runny, and when you get a runny Frosty, you cry and throw it. I’m not saying it has happened to me… just… it could happen.

You want mint chocolate chip ice cream, but when you get it you decide you actually would rather have mango sorbet, but when you get that you think maybe just a mango would be better, but then you get a mango and you peel it and pit it and almost cut your hand off, and then it tastes disgusting so you throw it and cry.

You’re so tired that you’ve lost the will to bathe regularly, but you do enjoy soaking in a hot tub of your own filth, just not having to, like, shave or clean yourself while you’re in there.

Because you’re so tired, you need so much coffee, but you’ve lost that loving feeling for coffee, or it repulses you entirely and makes you hate life  for the rest of the day when you manage to get any past your gag reflex.

You NEED a kitchen renovation and new carpet in the bedroom, and your closets desperately need organized, and your baseboards are suddenly so filthy you don’t think you can ever have guests again.

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You toss and turn all night thinking about how dirty your baseboards are and how you should clean them, but you’re so tired.

Everything smells awful.  

Everything makes you cry.

Everything makes you want to throw things. 

Raw chicken suddenly reminds you of a vagina and there’s no way you’re ever eating chicken again. 

Do any of these apply to you? Please take a pregnancy test. I’m not saying you’re pregnant, but if you are, you should totally know so you can milk that ish. There are special parking spaces for us, you know.

Pictures of myself taken with my iPhone app for my camera, though, yes, you could say I love my phone that much. Whatever. I’m just trying to cherish this fleeting, precious moment. 

September 14, 2016 7 comments
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Welcome To The 2nd Whine-Mester
Pregnancy

Welcome To The 2nd Whine-Mester

by Jill June 22, 2016
written by Jill

I know people are like, “Write more about your pregnancy!” But I really don’t have anything witty or insightful to put here. I just. I hate it. I hate being pregnant. And that’s an annoying thing for people to hear over and over and over and over again. Right? It is.

I’m nearly 15 weeks. The first trimester is gone. The nausea is also mostly gone. BUT! The reflux is coming in strong, and now? AND NOW THE HEADACHES ARE HERE.

And I’m still so emotionally conflicted about food.

I spent most of the day in bed (with the kids tearing apart my room while I shushed them), I drank water, I took Tylenol, nothing has helped this headache.

I’m watching HGTV nonstop, and I saw an Irish couple on a show, and they made me think of fish n’ chips-  in that I remembered an Irish pub I went to in Boston and it had fish n’ chips. And then I had to have fish n’ chips, but we don’t have any place nearby that serves it. So I went to a catfish place and got fried fillets and fries. And then I quietly cried to myself at a table all alone because it wasn’t close. Not remotely close to what I wanted.  (I eat out alone often now because fuck bringing my family with me on these quests for food that makes me hate life less.)

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This longing for fried fish and malted vinegar comes after a week of nothing but salads. I went to Kroger last week and dropped way too much on fresh produce, raw seeds & nuts, gourmet vinegars, and pickled veggies. I had a goat cheese, beet, & mandarin orange salad for lunch today, and it was so disappointing that I washed it down with half a bag of cool ranch Doritos.

There is no satisfaction. There has been no food I haven’t regretted moments later. The last two months have been nothing but disappointing attempts to feed myself.

Also, it is summer, and it is hot, and that’s really unpleasant.

Also unpleasant is the light of this laptop as I type with a headache. So the end.

June 22, 2016 9 comments
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PregnancyThe Story

My Body Keeps Having To Remind Me It’s Pregnant

by Jill April 22, 2013
written by Jill

My body keeps having to remind me it’s pregnant. It’s quite inconvenient. I have stuff to do, yo. But, in the midst of this (nearly over) 2nd trimester energy surge, I tend to forget that I’m actually growing another living being inside me, and that that’s kind of a shitton of work.

So then my body is all, “WHOA. STOP THE TRAIN. Let’s sleep all day!” the day or 2 after a long weekend of non-stop madness, cleaning, home renovations (yes, more!), and child chasing. Like now. I’m totally wiped out right now. This typing of the keyboard is very exhausting. My fingers are crying.

Our house is FINALLY, mostly in order. The rooms are put back together after the carpet install, and all major biohazards (and even most of the laundry) are clean. We had a great weekend, full of baseball games…

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And a Nintendo Wii U party (more on that later this week).

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And now all I want to do is sleep ALL THE SLEEP in our doesn’t-look-like-a-frat-house bedroom (can’t wait to show the whole thing off to you all soon!).

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When my body isn’t telling me to pass out at that very moment, no matter where- TARGET AISLES ARE PERFECTLY FINE TO NAP IN < says my body- it’s reminding me I’m pregnant with incessant heartburn, mixed with nonstop hunger. That’s a cruel fucking joke.

“You need to eat, Jill! You are going to die of starvation! You can’t eat anything, Jill! It will all melt you from the inside!”

Oh, and then there’s still the Pica. I hope you know how much I love you to admit this out loud. I have actually had dreams where I’ve come across a bucket that has just enough sand in the bottom of it. In my dreams, I get SO excited because it’s a “reasonable” amount of sand. I could wash it and then eat it, and it would be just enough to satisfy my craving without going completely off the deep end and buying a bag of sand. Because when I am awake? I have this conversation with myself all the time. How crazy would I be to go buy a bag of sand from Home Depot, scoop some in some boiling water, rinse it off, all for a spoonful of wet sand? I MEAN, THAT’S TOTALLY NORMAL, RIGHT?

I WANT IT MORE THAN ANYTHING.

Literally salivating right now just typing that out.

(Yes, my iron is low. Yes, I’m taking more supplements. Yes, my midwife knows.)

I’ve felt for a long while that this baby is probably a boy, even before I felt like my ultrasound techs possibly spilled the beans. Now, though, I’m not sure. This pregnancy, from the (non-food) cravings, to the insane heartburn, to the way I’m carrying are all like a carbon copy of my pregnancy with Leyna. It’s definitely keeping things interesting.

This morning I was bemoaning not having anything funny or creative to share with you all today, but then I figured, well, you haven’t heard me whine about pregnancy lately. So there. My gift to you. And a belly shot. 26ish weeks. This was taken at the end of the day, while helping Leyna wash up for bed.

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 I keep meaning to do more selfies with my nice camera, but then my body keeps reminding me just how freaking tired I am. I’m listening, body! 2nd nap, here I come!

April 22, 2013 6 comments
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PregnancyThe Story

Hold Me. I’m Scared Of This Baby.

by Jill January 25, 2013
written by Jill

This baby is trying to break me. It’s testing me.

I’m in the 2nd trimester- the  honeymoon trimester- and it’s laughing in my face. This pregnancy has been the hardest of the 3 in terms of how I feel. Granted, kicking things off at 9 weeks with full blown flu certainly didn’t help, but it feels like I’ve been dealing with some form of blerg and gag ever since.

There was a brief window last week when I thought, “BEHOLD! The 2nd trimester is nigh! And it is good!” And then this week happened. Headaches, indigestion, aches, pains, and YAY the food aversions are baaaAAACK.

This baby has made me hate nearly everything I once loved.

Coffee? Hate.
Wine? Disgusts.
Chocolate? Wretch.
Any and all food? So much hate.
Husband? There are moments of strong loathing.
Pets? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU STINK.

Hell, even by the end of this I’m sure I’ll be hating sleep, my most favorite thing of all.

The only thing it hasn’t made me hate are my other children (though be sure my temper is much shorter with them at times). I think this has to do with all 3 being born of the same womb lined in evil powers… that they can’t use against each other.

Instead, the 3rd will get here, and it will be like the trifecta of evil doom is complete, and they’ll form some sort of jungle animal when they all roll together and shoot me with their laser beams.

I am very scared.

January 25, 2013 20 comments
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