I Thought I Was Dying, But I Had Postpartum Anxiety

The Postpartum Support International help line phone number is 1-800-944-4733. Keep reading for more resources you can bookmark or share with friends and family.

If you’ve been reading this blog over the last 7 years, you’ve likely heard me at least mention my struggles with postpartum anxiety and OCD at some point. I’ve tried to be open about it for nearly as long as I’ve recognized it in myself.

I first wrote about it back in 2011.

I feel a sense of obligation to talk about this because I may have never sought treatment had it not been for the women who came before me and shared their own stories.

I never realized postpartum ANXIETY or OCD were real diagnosis. I didn’t ever feel “depressed” so it never occurred to me the anger and the worry and the obsessive fear I felt had anything to do with my mental health. I assumed that I was just a BAD MOTHER. How awful, right?

So you can imagine my relief when I read this and recognized, finally, that what I was feeling was actually something that could be treated. I wasn’t a bad mom, I was sick. PLEASE BOOKMARK THIS and share it and refer back to it!

THE SYMPTOMS OF POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION & ANXIETY (IN PLAIN MAMA ENGLISH)

I white knuckled my way through it with my first baby, and I regret that, but I didn’t even know something was wrong with me then. I finally got help when my 2nd baby was 9 months old. I had plans in place after the birth of my 3rd and 4th baby- prescriptions on hand and ready to fill.

It never got easier to get through it, but it did get easier to fill those prescriptions.

If you recognize any of these symptoms in yourself or someone you care about, please reach out to a medical care provider- your family physician, your OB, or even ask your pediatrician for a recommendations if you need one.

PLEASE NOTE that PPD/PPA does not always hit those first few weeks. Mine never hit until my babies were between 4-6 months old, long after I “aced” that 6 week postpartum screening.