Birth is personal and different for every single family and when it comes to who will be present when your baby (or babies!) arrive, every mom should be able to choose who gets in the invite.
Some moms feel comfortable with a crowd, some want only their spouse, and some would rather have their mom present.
Whatever makes you feel most comfortable should be the choice you make.
If you want a party? Invite ’em all!
If you don’t want to tell anyone but your partner and the doc that you’re in labor? Go for it!
If you want to midwife it up with 10 of your BFFs on the sideline, make it so.
But it’s up to YOU.*
Here’s what some of our readers had to say about who they wanted to invite to their births:
“For the first, just my husband was the plan. I ended up asking him to call my mom after I had been pushing for two hours and they started talking c-section. I was scared, and she had traveled across the country to help us before/after the birth, and I knew she was just waiting. She ended up being there to see her first grandchild born naturally, which was great.” – Rachel
“Just my husband at the time. I think it’s a time for the parents to share, it’s the last time we were just a couple, just the two of us. We were starting OUR little family, going from “we” to 3. We thought it was good for us to have that time alone together before life changed forever.” – Sheilah
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Feeling so thankful for my village. My mom has managed to make the transition of adding a new baby so much easier each time, taking on all the other kids while we focus on the newest. This time she's got three to manage, and she's taken them all to visit family for the night. My sister gifted us a visit from the housekeeper today so I came home to a clean, empty house. Even our hospital made the first night home easier by sending us home with dinner.
“Absolutely no one. We had a home birth with my 6th baby and I finally had the confidence to tell everyone that I’ll be laboring alone.” – Katie
“I had a lobby full of folks! I’m big on the whole family and enjoyed every second of them being there. As far as in the room with me, husband, Mom and sister were all there up until the caesarean then it was just the hubby. While I was in laboring and trying for natural, parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncle and cousins! The more the merrier for me!!!” – Ashley
“First, my husband and my doula. My mother in law invited herself and spent plenty of time listening at the door. My second, husband only. Anyone else seemed like too much work to deal with.” – Holly Mae
“My husband. End of list. I get overwhelmed with too many people around and it was definitely easier to have my two without a cheering section present.” – Kate
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“Husband only. He’s the only one I would want there. It worked out well like that. And next time, it will be the same.” – Vanessa
“Only my husband. I don’t like crowds and I prefer being left alone when I don’t feel great, so I wouldn’t have been able to deal with anyone else being there. I didn’t have any hospital visitors either (which given how many hospital staff folks were in and out of my room all damn day and night, I was in no mood for visitors). It was perfect.” – Melissa
When it comes down to the big day, YOU and your partner are the only ones who should have a say who gets on the guest list when you welcome your baby. It’s not a party, unless you want it to be.
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Anyone who is going to be upset that they didn’t get an invite to your birth is probably someone you wouldn’t want around in the moment anyhow.
You don’t need hostess guilt at your birth!
Who you invite to your birth is a “you do you” situation. Trust your gut, talk to your partner, and make a plan that you feel good about.
There’s a lot we can’t plan or control when we’re bringing babies into the world, but this you can decide for yourself.
It’s YOUR day, mama. Rock it.
*This doesn’t include any medical pros who need to be there for the health and safety of you and your baby, of course. 🙂