I’ve been thinking of getting a tattoo. I don’t have any, and I never, ever thought I’d get any. Not because I think they’re bad, but because I’m so fickle, and I’m certain I’d end up hating it.
I’m not a “word of the year” kind of person any more than I’m a tattoo person, but this year I can’t shake a word. I think of it every day, multiple times.
I am feeling the weight of a lot of things in life lately, and am trying so hard to be intentional with my time, with my words, with my love, with my commitments.
So I think, maybe, if I were to be the tattoo type, I think I would maybe get “be intentional” tattooed somewhere that would be a constant reminder. I don’t know. I don’t think I’ll go through with the tattoo, but I do think I’ll stick with intention as my word this year… maybe for the rest of my life, or just my 30s. (Did I mention I’m fickle?)
This word didn’t just come to me on January 1st. Throughout my last pregnancy, I felt the pull to trim the fat in my life, and to really focus on what matters- my family. I went to a summit in October last year as a member of this year’s #TalkEarly team for Responsiblity.org. This is my 2nd year, and I am still so honored to get to team up with them to talk to you all about the importance of talking to our kids about alcohol (from as young as 6 years old) and creating lifelong conversations about alcohol responsibility. This post is sponsored by Responsiblity.org.
Clinical Psychologist Dr. Shefali, and author of The Awakened Family, talked to us about connection and purposeful interactions with our children. It was a significant moment for me that brought that word closer to the surface- intention.
One thing she said that really shook me was “Connection comes before correction, busy schedules, and achievement.”
Man, shouldn’t that be the way? I’ve talked a little about how Kendall turning 9 this year is ripping my heart apart. This feels so urgent to me. Nine is busy sports schedules, and homework, and prepping for tests. Nine is getting in trouble- like the kind of trouble you really have to learn from before it becomes big, serious trouble in a few years.
But through all of this, the chaos, the studying, the stern talks, the redirecting, we HAVE to connect with him. We have to do that first.
So… intention. I am intentionally making life changes. I am intentionally setting an example for him, and not just trusting he will see me for a mom who really does try hard. I am intentionally putting that connection first as much as I can. And I am intentionally watching my language.
We tell our kids this all the time- “Words matter. Words have power.” So in this year of intention, I’m intentionally trying to keep myself from saying things like, “Mommy is so stressed, she needs a glass of wine.”
I don’t want this idea to stress you out. I don’t want anyone to finish reading this and feel like there is no room for error when it comes to parenting. In fact, I think kids learn more from our mistakes than our successes. I just want to put it out there that sometimes when you are more intent in how you parent, it relieves stress and that feeling of lost control… at least it has for me… for now.
Thanks to Responsiblity.org for sponsoring this post and having me on the #TalkEarly team for the 2nd year.