So it’s been, like, 3 months since half the people I know got an Amazon Echo for Christmas. Are you one of those people? Maybe you got a Google Home. I feel like this probably applies to you just the same.
Have we learned to turn our house into a “smart house”? Have we transformed our lives? Made them more efficient? No. We still forget things at the grocery store. I still send my kids out in 50 degree weather without a jacket. Still turning on and off all my lights with my hands like an episode of Little House On The Prarie…. err. You know. WE ARE NOT IN THE FUTURE YET.
Instead of Alexa bringing us into the future, every night I am transported to some suburb of hell where my children scream over each other in an attempt to get a robot’s attention.
Leyna: “Alexa! Play the son-“
Kendall: “NO! Alexa is going to play MY song. Alexa, play-“
Leyna: “STOP IT. Alexa, stop. Play the song-“
Lowell: “ALEXXXXXXXXXXA PWAY MY SONG!”
Kendall: “Alexa, NO. Alexa, set a timer for 10 minutes because LOWELL IS GOING TO TIMEOUT.”
Leyna: “Alexa, where are the cookies?”
Alexa: “Playing ‘Cookie’ by R. Kelly.”
Me: “ALEXA, STOP. OMG.”
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The ONE and only benefit of infertility is these moments of beauty of having an only child!!!!!!!!! But that is seriously funny for anyone with more than one kid!
We stayed with family over Christmas and they have an Alexa and OMG. I knew right then and there we’d never get one. It was pure hell to have 5 cousins screaming at her and Alexa sucks even worse than my own kids when it comes to listening to my mean mom voice say “ENOUGH!” That biotch just keeps going.