Pregnancy is a miracle and we are grateful for our little blessings that come into this world as a result of it, blah blah blah.
Now that that is out of the way, PREGNANCY IS ALSO AWFUL SOMETIMES. It is. It just is. You can be thankful for the gift of life and also hate waking up, choking on your own stomach acid. Those things are not mutually exclusive.
So while you’re enduring the sometimes miraculous and sometimes torturous process of creating life, here are some things you should indulge in without any guilt.
Sleep-Turn down invitations to parties to sleep. Stop doing your makeup so you can get 15 more minutes of sleep in the morning. Stop shaving for more sleep. Sleep whenever you feel like it, even if that’s at 5:30 in the afternoon, and it requires you setting a trough of cereal out for your other children, putting on Netflix, and threatening them with their life if they leave the room you’re sleeping in. That leads me to…
Plug your children in- If you have outside children, this is not the time to be the screen time enforcer. Give them Netflix, give them apps, give them your iPhone. Give them whatever it takes for them to leave you alone so you can sleep, or just not bother you to go up the stairs and get them actual toys. There is very little in life that should make you go up a flight of stairs right now, and mostly that’s just if the house is on fire and you need to rescue children or maybe pets. Maybe.
Ask your partner to do everything- Need water? Ask them to get you water. Need something upstairs? Obviously, they should get that for you. Change the cat litter box (duh), feed the dogs, take out the trash, do the dishes because you are MAKING A HUMAN INSIDE YOUR BODY.
Park in those parking spaces for pregnant women- This is no time for pride. Those spaces are made for YOU. Seek them out. Use them. Still find yourself hyperventilating over the handle of a shopping cart once you get inside.
Take all the hot baths and showers you want- At random times of the day, even! No, you don’t have to use this opportunity to actually clean yourself. Just stand or sit in the hot water if you feel like it. Okay, I get that this one is limited for some of you in drought-stricken parts of the country. I’m not saying go against the restrictions, but hey, if your kids need to go without a bath for a week so you can fill your soaking tub up a couple times, that’s cool, right?
Ask for and accept help- Do you need help out to your car with those groceries? YES. Do you need help lifting that big bag of dog food into your cart? YES. Do you need help getting your enormous body off the couch? YES. This is a great thing to start practicing before baby comes anyway because you’re going to need to ask for and accept the help of others even more after they get here.
Take yourself out to eat- Table for one, please! Enjoy the silence, treat yourself to exactly what you’re craving, and don’t worry what anyone else wants to eat. I have a date with myself after every midwife appointment at whatever place I want for lunch. And I always get desert, too.
Wear your food stains with pride– About 6 months in, you’ll find that you can’t stop yourself from dropping food and beverages onto your boobs and bump. Your shirts will all get trails of grease down the front, and it will be too late to invest in new clothes. Wear them anyway, and embrace the knowing smiles and nods from the moms who’ve been there, spilled that.
Whine and groan- At the end of the day (or really anytime), sometimes it helps to just pull your shirt up, let your belly hang out, lay back and loudly groan, whine, and generally complain about how uncomfortable you are. I sometimes find that a small temper tantrum just before bed helps me get better sleep.
And remember, you don’t have to cherish every moment of pregnancy to appreciate the miracle of life. Let yourself hate it once in a while. No guilt.