Exercise & Poop & Procrastination

All morning I’ve been putting off blogging. I don’t know why, mostly because I was really comfy on my couch and I felt uninspired and I did try to clean the house. But then I got my reminder to fit in a workout before I pick the kids up, so now I’m procrastinating on THAT, and suddenly I feel like I should blog.

Speaking of working out, I am trying out Freeletics (that is my special link but I honestly don’t know what I get for sharing it), and by trying out I mean I’ve done two workouts so far. Seems legit. The workouts make me super sore, soo…. must be. I literally just signed up for the personalized coaching thing (I think it was $28ish for 3 months) on a whim. Are any of you doing this? The running part of it seems really promising, but procrastination-me thinks I need to get good wireless headphones before I do that. Hit me with any recommendations that are not $200. (Dre, I’m looking at you.)

So reading through the responses on my audience survey is AMAZING. (Have you taken it yet? I’m still giving away another $50 gift card once it gets to 1,500 responses.) The overwhelming majority of you say what you love to read the most here are humorous stories. That makes me happy.

It also makes me panic. The thing with the humorous stories is so many of them are not mine to tell anymore. My God, you guys, life with a 7 year old is HILARIOUS but not in a way I can write about online. And I find myself really guarded lately, and vulnerable, especially as my audience grows. Which is mostly unfounded. I get a really small percentage of trolling or negative feedback, but I’m overly cautious these days and that’s hard to get over.

I’m working on it, though. I really am.

So potty training is going well in the sense that Lowell hasn’t pooped on the floor. Or on the toilet. Or in his diaper for two days. The kid who poops like clock work at 7:30 every night hasn’t pooped in well over 48 hours.


I told you all I got him those mini Thomas trains as incentive, right? So I was like, “Lowell, do you want more tiny Thomas trains?!” All excited, like I’m talking to a puppy with a piece of bacon in my hand, pointing at the potty.

And he’s like, “No. No trains. More McQueens!”

Oh. Okay.

I found this giant $20 battery operated Lightning McQueen at Target that he’s obsessed with, brought it home, and put it within his sight but out of reach, and told him all he had to do to get it was to poop on the potty.

I am so stupid. So dumb. Did he run off and poop in the potty? No. Instead, it’s like he now has performance anxiety? And now he just can’t poop. Soooooo excited for the McQueen and please please get it down, PLEASE but no he will not poop for it. Or anything. Never pooping again.

When some of you were like, “Jill, give us real potty training advice!” after my last post. Yeah, this is why I can’t do that. I can’t be responsible for your children never pooping again.

I should stop typing. I have 40 minutes to work out AND clean the house. I do my best work on deadlines like this. So, to summarize, Freeletics– do you use it and/or like it? Wireless headphone recs? Have you taken my audience survey? Please send good vibes to Lowell and his poops.




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  1. the best advice I have gotten wad take away the incentives. make them want to go so they dont feel dirty, it is a major pain in the ass washing dirty underwear but it has worked so much better for me. I did incentives with my son (now 4) and he still poops his pants at least once a week. my daughter who is two has been training for 2 weeks and has been accident free for 2 days now.

  2. I know you said I’m lookin’ at you Dre, but those Beats wireless headphones are the bomb! (Do people still say the bomb?) There is a pair on Amazon for $130 and they are worth it. Great sound, good fit once I figured out the whole behind the ear business, and they do not get in the way while working out. I highly recommend them. As far as potty training, I’m at the point where my youngest will be in diapers while still in college…just need to find a preschool that is OK with this plan.

  3. Don’t feel bad. I manage to potty train my 3 yr old stepson in a week at the end of December but I still haven’t gotten him to poop in a toilet. He apparently poops in the toilet at daycare and maybe when he’s with his mom (we have him half the month and she has him half the month). I however have gotten pretty good at cleaning poop off carpet (and books because who likes literature)… Before I got into this, I never realized how gross every surface in a child’s house must be between urine, poop, snot, and vomit. I need to buy more clorox and/or a bubble to live in.

  4. Miralax and benefiber in milk. Separately, of course. Signed, a mom whose kid stopped pooping without the help of suppositories this fall. It’s like he figured out that he could just hold it forever if he stopped eating and drinking. Not good.

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