I bought my nearly 2.5 year old 2 pacifiers for the first time in 2 years this week, desperate for him to find something else to suck on than my boobs.
Yes, I’m STILL breastfeeding my toddler. And YES, I’m actually okay with that. I’m okay with it about 2-3 times a day.
I am NOT okay with it 2-3 times a night, and while he’s watching Chuggington, and when he gets mad at his sister, and when he gets out of timeout.
It’s obviously comfort for him. I get that, and I’m not trying to take the comfort part away from him. I’m just trying to take my exhausted nipples away and replace them with a nipple that is devoid of nerve endings and need for sleep.
I do the don’t ask, don’t refuse thing, except now I really have to refuse because it’s just getting crazy. He asks to nurse more now than probably 6 months ago. His interest is doing the exact opposite of decreasing as he gets older.
So I bought him pacifiers. His sister LOVED pacifiers so much she didn’t give them up until she was 4. And now that I’m on the other side of that and she seems perfectly well adjusted, won’t shut up, and seems to have what looks like a normal smile, I’d be HAPPY if he loved them just as much.
Except he’s been spitting them out since he was 6 months old. But… but… maybe he just needs to give them one more chance! Or 20? Or however many times I need to put one in his mouth until he finally realizes it’s power.
I don’t know. This could take a while. So far, he’s handed it back to me every time (after trying to chew on the wrong end) and said, “No.”
WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE?!
I know, I can already hear some of you- “You just need to learn to tell him no and walk away. Stop coddling him. This is gross.”
- Fuck off.
- I AM telling him no, and our life is just DELIGHTFUL for it. Scott is exhausted because he has to go to Lowell’s room 2-3x a night and put him back in bed after he stands at his door, SCREAMING for me. Lowell follows me around the house trying to rip my sweaters off of me while crying incessantly. Trust, none of this makes me feel like a great mom.
- Also, it’s not “gross” and I’m okay with breastfeeding him for a while longer, JUST NOT SO MUCH.
I really, really don’t want to cut him off cold turkey. I just want a glimmer of hope that at some point in the not so distant future he’s not going to be so attached to me. Literally.
Well-meaning suggestions from non-assholes welcome.