I keep making blogging harder than it should be.
I miss the days I used to just… write. Long, HUGE paragraphs. I mean, I cringe reading them now. The are so NOT meant for today’s shortened attention span. But back then they were exactly the kind of catharsis I craved.
I said a lot of things back then that I wouldn’t now. Not necessarily things I don’t still think, but I’m way more calculated about the words that appear on this screen now, the ones that represent my voice. And that is mostly a very good thing. Age and maturity have taught me to think carefully about how my words impact others on both sides of the computer.
But I do long for the days when I could dump my human, flawed brain onto the screen. And maybe 50 people would read it. And maybe 2 would be offended.
I don’t regret where I am now, or where this evolution has taken me, though.
I’m just… stretching my wings and they’re getting a little stuck along the way in this tiny box that I’m in. The walls are built with expectations about babies and explaining what I mean when I say rabies. And what IS it I do for a living? I do not have a real answer for this. I blog, but am I a blogger? I’ve been telling people I’m a digital content creator.
The other day, Leyna handed me a piece of wood she decorated with electrical tape. “It’s for you, mommy! It’s a content!”
And for all I know, that’s really the best way to describe what I do. I take blocks of ideas, and I add my own flair to them, and I present them to you.
I don’t know. This is me rambling AND I’M LOVING IT.
Oh, and this isn’t me quitting this. This isn’t my resignation letter. I’m just putting words to keyboard because I want to remember what this felt like (except this time with many more paragraphs because in 8 years our brains have evolved to only read lists).
I would/should add pictures to this, too, but something is wrong with my uploader blog thing right now, and I’m trying to fix it. It’s stopped me from blogging in the past, and that’s just dumb. I can WRITE without sharing pictures.
Except now this won’t have a “feature image” so it won’t be visually appealing on Facebook, and it won’t be pinnable. I mean, what is even the point?
I’m toying with dropping the Baby Rabies title of this blog. For one, it’s just getting exhausting explaining it to people and brands (and then brands ACTUALLY refusing to work with me because my blog name is “off color”). But also, I just want to write. I want to write about whatever. I don’t want to have to tie everything back into parenting and babies.
I’m still in that chapter of my life, but I just have so much less to say about it lately, and I don’t know why. I think I’m just averse now to adding to the online noise about judgement, acceptance, open letters to other parents. I don’t know.
I could totally change my mind tomorrow. You probably know this about me if you’ve read long enough. I am fickle and flaky and flawed. I have a million amazing ideas that I’m working on any given time, but the chances that any of them come to fruition are really slim.
So what I think I’m saying is, I know this place has been quiet and devoid of personality for a while. I would say I’m sorry, but I don’t think I should apologize for doing my best to navigate these waters. This place is for me, but it is also for you. I LOVE you. I do. This community means the WORLD to me. Yes, even you who has never commented and still checks in with me from time to time. I love you.
Wow. It’s crazy how fast I can write a blog post when I’m not sizing images and prepping them for Pinterest. I didn’t even take the time to hyperlink anything. I’m such a rebel! I think I’m done now. I shall go get some more coffee.
I hope you do something today that you haven’t done in a long time that makes you happy, too.
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55 comments
I’ve enjoyed this journey with you. Our kids are about the same ages so the content about parenting and such was/is relevant. But kids grow and become their own people and don’t need us 24/7. That leaves us mommies with either a void or a chance to explore other avenues.
I love your crafts because I know they are 100% genuinely yours, not copied. And they’re simple and cheap enough that even a busy mom can do them. (I still get compliments every Halloween on my Monster wreath).
So keep on keepin’ on.
Hey! You’re back! This was more like what you wrote 5 years ago when I started following you. 🙂 I have now been blogging for 5 years, you inspired me to start, so I definitely what you have been going through and you are right to not apologize. it’s been interesting and helpful to watch your path as a parent and a blogger.
Read this. Love it. Love your blog (no matter what the name). That is all!
I love you blog, whether you change the name and go in a different direction or not, I will still read it!! 🙂
I love reading, too. Even without a picture. Even when it’s long. I enjoy reading about crafts, babies, wine, photos and life. So do bout about it! And my grammar is crap because I’m one handed on my phone.
I’m getting a haircut (LONG LONG overdue) & then going out to a nice dinner with my husband in San Francisco – at a place we’re actually REALLY excited about going to. I’ll think of you!
I also love your blog, your Facebook, and your Instagram photos. You are very talented in all you do and it’s your honesty and realness as a mother but also a human that I look forward to. You do you and whatever that means you need to do to keep moving forward, even if it means stepping back and changing a few things, we’re here for you and with you the whole way.
This is awesome. Not that I don’t like the pictures and beautiful images, but I love reading something authentic. That’s what this was.
Jill. I’ve been a reader here since… well not the very beginning but before Kendall was born so close enough. I’ve loved your voice and honesty and humor through all the stages. Thank you for sharing so much with all of us, right down to this post! I am so enjoying this period of coming back into myself after the chaos of early parenthood. And here you are, like always, writing about it in such an identifiable way. I’ve missed your earlier style, but also loved watching this space grow and change. Do what makes you happy and we’ll follow you (or not) and life will go on. I’m glad this wasn’t your resignation letter. 😉 You add good to the world.
I am clicking over from FB. The lack of image on your post actually intrigued me to click… **what blogger posts to FB with out an image?!?!** 😉
You have inspired me to write a post today. No picture editing or watermarking, just write. I have been on the road traveling and through a few fluke events I have my laptop with me but not the hard drives with my photo libraries…
So today I am going to write… just write… because I can and more importantly because it will keep me from pouring a glass of wine at 1:00pm. Today is day 1 of potty training boot camp for my 2 year old… and I NEED wine right now. 🙂
Ashley
I’ve been reading for a long time, and will continue to as long as you write. Or just post a picture. Cause in my mind we’re internet BFFs, lol. Just kidding 🙂 I honestly don’t know how you even produce coherent sentences because once I had my third baby this past February, my brain turned to mush. There are literally no brain cells left at the end of the day. I feel like life is too fast right now, and you let me slow down when I read your posts. 🙂
I’m another “I’ll follow you wherever” if you decide on a name change. I love your content, babies or no babies or rabies 😉 Pictures or no pictures, I’ll still be reading!! Keep posting!
You know what… you know why I like this blog? Because you live in DFW and I live in DFW. Because you speak truth and I like that. You had/have a hard first kid and so do I. Because you’ve talked about PPD and guess what, that video yesterday made me UGLY CRY and that was GOOD. I’m good with the “mommy blogs” that are supposed to be inspirational and instead become intimidating but that can’t be all I read. And yea, all the sponsored posts can get a little offputting but I get Mama wants to make a dollar sometimes. And I’ll either buy or not buy the product because of a 100 reasons and now I blog post is in that mix. No big deal. Keep doing what you are doing and continuing to be honest. I enjoy your writing and style and humor and perspective so just keep swimming and I look forward to seeing where you take this Blog Baby!
I absolutely love this!
This is a beautiful post. And the reason why I read “mom” blogs. For the honesty.
Loving the realness of this.
Love this. You are awesome at what you do … and to me it is not “blogging ” or “creating.” I think what makes you awesome is your willingness to share.
You’re the best. 🙂
I am so thankful for your blog. Especially the post partum anxiety info. I am currently pregnant with #3 and have a 9 and 5 year old. I am experiencing extreme anxiety as of the last two weeks and depression, too. Not sure where to go from here but your blog has been a good resource.
I’m one of the ones that checks in from time to time and never comments. Thanks for being honest and real!
You can write whatever you like, I’ll keep reading 🙂
Absolutely love this & love you. This is the only way I want to blog and I don’t care if only 10 people read it. I need it for my soul. xoxo
??we love the rambling here. Makes me feel like you know me IRL. Because what mom brain doesn’t ramble?! Really
You have ‘less to say about it’ because while you’re still in that chapter, you’re also moving on. My youngest just turned five and I find that I’m less interested in hearing the latest baby craziness than I used to be. Sites I used to frequent often and enjoyed are rarely visited now because they just aren’t for me any more (not this one). In fact, sometimes I find them almost annoying (yes, that’s not nice) because I’ve been-there-done-that and they have no idea what they’re talking about. When someone would tell me they were pregnant I couldn’t wait to share advice and talk all things baby. Now, I find my advice is starting to become a little less relevant to those new parents as I move on to the stage of parenting two school-aged kids. I love this site for a couple of reasons – I.) It’s not ALL about parents and babies; 2.) When you do talk about your family – Your two oldest and my only two are close to the same ages and I feel that your struggles and joys are so similar to mine it’s like reading my thoughts – and it makes me laugh. 🙂
Ahhhhh. How refreshing. An “old school” blog entry. Thank you. Many of us followed you before Pinterest and all the perfect pictures and FB linking and tweets. It’s OK. You are OK. Just be you. You are a mom. You are a person. It can’t be all babies and parenting all of the time. We will still follow.
<3
I love posts without pictures that are long, keeps my attention just fine. I love picture filled short posts too! I keep coming back because I enjoy reading what you have to say. Keep on typing! 🙂
You do you, Jill. Because that’s enough. 🙂 Love this blog, love this post.
Enjoyed reading this!
Gave me the feels 🙂 Here’s to finding our way.
I’ve been reading since before you had Leyna, and I still check in occasionally. I loved this post, no picture and all. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said devoid of personality. I’d love it if you went back to writing for you and less for the sponsors and free stuff. Kudos to you for putting it all out there again; it’s what keeps me coming back.
My happy thing today is a long overdue pedicure! And I am one of your quietly checking in on you fans, we started on this mommy journey at the same time, and I’ve followed you since The Knot, you never fail to entertain me 🙂
On point. I totally relate to that feeling of no longer being completely comfortable with how I’ve defined myself. The fact is it does change day to day. If you are no longer Baby Rabies, who are you? That’s actually a pretty exciting, albeit scary, question that it will be time to answer soon. Looking forward to hearing more 😉
Beautifully written. Good to see a genuine, raw blog post. We all get bogged down by the showy, quick wit with a colorful background time to time. It’s so nice to read your thoughts unedited. Keep up the great work. I love following you!
I have missed you. Welcome back.
Loved this! Do what you gotta do mama!
I totally get you! Keep on keeping on! Move in whatever direction God leads. I look at “mommy bloggers” like you and think man! There is no way I would have that much to say about parenting. But you have managed to keep it interesting, practical and REAL, and you do it all with class. So I encourage you to explore other areas of your life and see where it leads.
And this is exactly why I love you!
Best blog post ever. Love.
Yeppers. Remember those days? Xoxoxo
I have followed you from the beginning, found you on the bump back when I was dealing with fertility issues. I still read you to this day. I have loved reading your blog and do enjoy what you share. You do what you need to, I will still be here.
The best part about this is the ramblings…isn’t that how blogs started out? Going back to our roots, our focus, our WHY is always a necessisty. You help so many people with your words and don’t think that will change if you decide to change your approach!
Gawd how I love how you write. Forget the pics. Or put a random – gasp! uncropped – photo up. Please, please, please I beg of you not to let photos get in the way of your writing.
Your writing is a gift. A GIFT. It is rare and wonderful and unique. Quite frankly, there are a shit-ton of blogs out there with pinterest worthy bullshit. There is not enough YOU.
I adore you! Please know that. 🙂
PS – GOD BLESS YOU FOR NOT APOLOGIZING!
Feed your own soul. Write what moves you, what you need to.
And just think of how much fun a blog-renaming conversation could be!
This is great to hear. My youngest turned 2 in June. I’m not as excited about all the baby stuff as I used to be. But I’m wondering what’s next….
This right here is exactly what I have been waiting for. I love to read about thoughts and exactly what you just wrote, um…general life, feelings, and being you! Who cares about making sure there is a photo available, this is you and this blog is you and life evolves and changes and so does your writings and feelings. It doesn’t always have to be about babies, it has to be about your feelings and what ever you feel like sharing.
Thanks for the good read!! Keep em’ coming!
Good to see a talent at work. I can’t match that.
I’m impressed! You’ve managed the almost impossible.
That’s 2 clever by half and 2×2 clever 4 me. Thanks!
I didn’t know where to find this info then kaboom it was here.
Hahahaha. I’m not too bright today. Great post!
I’ll try to put this to good use immediately.
Deadly accurate answer. You’ve hit the bullseye!
It is very good and also included some different than others, keep doing the awesome work.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us.