11:30 prepare lunch
11:45 make sure nobody needs to potty or a diaper change
11:50 turn on Thomas in the living room for one child
11:55 turn on Wonder Pets in the bedroom for the other child
11:58 stress, again, how super important it is that everyone watch TV quietly while mommy is on the phone
12:01 answer the call
12:03 make crazy eyes at the children who are asking for snacks like YOU DIDN’T JUST FEED THEM
12:06 silently mouth, “GO AWAY, OH MY GOD” while the client explains deliverables to you
12:09 retrieve Lucky Charms box from the pantry and try to quietly pour some in a cup
12:10 give up and give the toddler the whole box
12:11 watch as toddler pours Lucky Charms all over the floor, sifting through it on hands and knees, picking out only the marshmallows
12:15 escape to other room to get away from the 4 year old with no volume control only to find the toddler following you, furiously signing for milk because those marshmallows are dry as f&ck
12:20 end call by thanking the client for thinking of you for this amazing project while half topless with a toddler stuck to your boob who is also trying to pick your nose
I’m not saying this just happened, but yes, yes I am.
Available now: Amazon | Barnes & Noble
4 comments
BEEN THERE.
Oh my goodness I have so been there!!! I literally LOL at the cereal box. I freaking hate Lucky Charms!
Lol. Every day of my life. Except I use nutrigrain instead of lucky charms. Sometimes I shut the front door and sit on my front porch having my phone conversation while inside the children are screaming for me despite the fact that they are both changed, just been fed and watered and I have left them with their favourite toy or tv program and my phone call is going to take 5 mins tops. Oh boy. Love my kids.
Beautifully written, so tru