A lot of you chimed in with love and support after my post the other day about a lot of things, but mainly about my heartbreak over feeling Kendall was being excluded from his flag football team.
I will admit that that night I was prepared to send off a scathing email to the coach, a gut reaction to the sting I felt in my heart, radiating down toward my fingers. My momma bear impulse strong.
Scott pleaded his case that I wait. I listened. I had a drink. I went to bed.
Yesterday morning, I finally sent that email to the coach, but with time and a clearer head on my side, I was able to convey my concerns in a thoughtful manner and open a line of communication.
And that’s when I learned Kendall sat out half of the scrimmage because he’s missed half of the practices. The team meets 2x a week, and then has a game on Saturday. We haven’t been able to make it to Thursday practices because it’s conflicted with baseball, which is wrapping up still as the football season begins.
We had no idea that Thursday practices were dedicated solely to offense, and Tuesday practices to defense, thus leaving him completely in the dark about offense.
Oh. So, that would make sense. That’s why it appeared like he was the only kid (or one of very few) who was clueless about running the ball. That’s why he was pulled out of the scrimmage every time they lined up on offense. I totally get that.
We just… had no idea. The coach never communicated to us that that’s how the practices were structured, and we never communicated to the coach that we’re a little overcommitted right now (lesson learned, believe me).
And so, as with most things in life, I think this all boils down to, yes, definitely a lack of communication. But also? After a little self-reflection, it’s also in part due to my magnified fears of people’s reactions to my child’s energy. You know how when you’re in a restaurant and you swear your kid is the loudest person in there, but then there’s a couple at another table who can’t even hear your kid because they are too busy worrying that THEIR kid is the loudest one in there?
I don’t know, this could all just be me, but this is something I’ve struggled with since Kendall was born. So many of these feelings, I think, have to do with the rigid standards I used to hold parents (and kids!) to before I became a mother, and learning to let go and not live in fear of what the 25 year old me would think of me today.
Kendall is high-energy, and he lacks focus, and he’s also incredibly kind and smart and a kid I’m proud to call mine. I just find myself on-edge every time we’re in a new situation because what if the people around us only see his distractibility and his quick frustration? Those are the things I zone in on when we’re out in public, and it’s a habit I KNOW I need to work to overcome.
Anyway, this all turned into a lot more of a therapy session than I intended. I just wanted to sit down and quickly update y’all that football practice went MUCH better last night, and I felt I owed it to his coach to clarify things after we cleared the air.
And now we can get back to getting excited about football because Kendall is SO EXCITED.