Baby Rabies
  • Start Here
    • About Baby Rabies
    • Baby Registry Top Picks
    • Favorite Pregnancy Apps
  • The Book
  • Pregnancy
    • Birth Stories
    • Perinatal Mood Disorders
  • Parenthood
    • Babies
    • Toddlers
    • School Age Kids
    • Parenting LOLZ
  • Photography
    • Photography

      6 Stunning Photos You Would Never Guess Were…

      February 11, 2019

      Photography

      Simple Tips For Editing Snow Photos On Your…

      December 13, 2018

      Photography

      I Wrote A Photography eBook And This Is…

      December 6, 2018

      Photography

      Creative Lighting Ideas To Help You Take Great…

      November 27, 2018

      Photography

      Learn How To Take And Edit Photos On…

      November 19, 2018

  • Reviews
    • Reviews

      The Answer To Last Minute Holiday Gifting For…

      December 19, 2018

      Reviews

      I Was Never A Barbie Girl Until Now

      October 1, 2018

      Reviews

      Finally! Jeans For My Jean-Averse Kids!

      August 22, 2018

      Reviews

      If Your Kid Loves Dump Trucks & Garbage…

      August 13, 2018

      Reviews

      Nobody Tell My Kids ABC Mouse Is Part…

      September 4, 2017

  • Subscribe

Baby Rabies

pregnancy & parenting

  • Start Here
    • About Baby Rabies
    • Baby Registry Top Picks
    • Favorite Pregnancy Apps
  • The Book
  • Pregnancy
    • Birth Stories
    • Perinatal Mood Disorders
  • Parenthood
    • Babies
    • Toddlers
    • School Age Kids
    • Parenting LOLZ
  • Photography
    • Photography

      6 Stunning Photos You Would Never Guess Were…

      February 11, 2019

      Photography

      Simple Tips For Editing Snow Photos On Your…

      December 13, 2018

      Photography

      I Wrote A Photography eBook And This Is…

      December 6, 2018

      Photography

      Creative Lighting Ideas To Help You Take Great…

      November 27, 2018

      Photography

      Learn How To Take And Edit Photos On…

      November 19, 2018

  • Reviews
    • Reviews

      The Answer To Last Minute Holiday Gifting For…

      December 19, 2018

      Reviews

      I Was Never A Barbie Girl Until Now

      October 1, 2018

      Reviews

      Finally! Jeans For My Jean-Averse Kids!

      August 22, 2018

      Reviews

      If Your Kid Loves Dump Trucks & Garbage…

      August 13, 2018

      Reviews

      Nobody Tell My Kids ABC Mouse Is Part…

      September 4, 2017

  • Subscribe
contributorsPregnancy

40 Weeks 5 Days Pregnant Is A Lot Of Pregnant {contributor}

by Jill July 21, 2014
July 21, 2014

Today I share with you this very profound piece of writing by my friend, AND NEW CONTRIBUTOR (YAY! Ya’ll will love her!), Suzanne. She is very, very, very, very, very pregnant. 

Very.

I say we welcome her with open arms, commiseration, funny jokes, and NOBODY TELLING HER TO RELAX. 

****************************

Hi, I’m Suzanne. I’m currently 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant with my 3rd child. I currently feel like this:

For the past 5 months the doctors have been warning me to be careful, since they thought I was definitely going to have my baby early due to my high amniotic fluid levels. I have an Olympic-sized swimming pool in my uterus, but apparently my fetus is the Michael Phelps of fetuses and just wants to hang out doing laps.

All my friends and family are sitting next to their phones and computers just waiting for news like this:

But when people ask me “Have you had that baby yet??” I get like this:

Because YES, I TOTALLY HAD THE BABY AND JUST FORGOT TO TELL YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE. Right. That might happen.

My husband is in the Navy and is going to sea soon. Ish. We don’t know exactly when because although the military’s first goal is to protect the country their second goal is to screw up all the plans anyone makes ever. It’s OK, we’re used to it. But the longer I stay pregnant the greater the chances are he might miss my labor and delivery. So we’re both like this:

And my friends who have gone WAY more than 5 days past their due dates and do not want to hear about my FIVE DAYS anymore are like this:

I’ve tried all the things the internet message boards suggest to induce labor (or at least all the things I’m WILLING to try – violent diarrhea isn’t something I can get on board with) and had no results because the internet is full of lies.

I know no one stays pregnant forever and pretty soon I’ll have an outside baby. Then I can start whining about newborn problems instead, like never sleeping and leaking boobs and my hair falling out and post-partum hemorrhoids. Can you believe this is the THIRD TIME I have willingly put myself through this? Mother nature really got me good with the whole “urge to procreate” business.

But between this whining and that whining I’ll get an adorable, squishy baby to cuddle and show off and then I’ll be all like this:


You can follow along with my past-my-due-date-rage updates on Instagram at @bebehblog and eventually you’ll be rewarded with newborn photos too. I make pretty cute kids, so it’s worth it.

**************

Bless yer heart, Suzanne. BLESS IT! You’re exactly as overdue now as I was with Lowell last year before I finally evicted him. The rage was strong with me. I feel your sciatic pain, sister. Welcome to the blog! I truly hope you’re so busy taking care of an outside baby very soon that we won’t hear from you again for a while. 

And great job conveying your feels with gifs. Words are hard when there is a 50 lb toddler residing within you.


50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide
Available now: Amazon | Barnes & Noble

  • 1.6K
    Shares
big babyContributorgifsguest postlate babyoverduePregnancypregnancy rage
previous post
Launching My YouTube Channel with the Help of bumGenius
next post
Stitch Fix, Fix My Sad Closet

Keep reading

My Tips For Preparing For Your 4th Trimester

This Halloween-Inspired Maternity Shoot Is Stunning

How To Talk To Your Children About Sexual...

Your Baby Registry Doesn’t Have To Be So...

The First Thing You Eat After Giving Birth...

The Power And Beauty Of Surrogacy

You Don’t Have To Invite Anyone To Your...

3 Refreshing Mocktails For Mamas

13 Cravings That Make Perfect Sense When You’re...

The Ultimate Baby Rabies Book Launch Giveaway

18 comments

Alena July 21, 2014 - 6:07 pm

You know I am waiting like Tina Fey. Ready for dat gingah.

Reply
Amy July 21, 2014 - 7:00 pm

If I had actually been eating popcorn the whole time I’ve been waiting for you to have this baby, there would be a worldwide popcorn shortage.

Reply
Wendy @ ABCs and Garden Peas July 21, 2014 - 8:48 pm

I wasn’t even overdue, and I still felt all Beyonce after I had mine. I can’t even imagine how great that’s going to be for you!

Reply
Jennifer @ Also Known As...the Wife July 21, 2014 - 10:06 pm

If nothing else goes your way today, know that you ended your rant strongly with a JLaw gif. And I much appreciate all the Sherlock.

Reply
Heather Long July 21, 2014 - 10:30 pm

Oh my gosh, yes! My son was born at 40 weeks 6 days. Not only that, but I only went to 37 weeks with my daughter so I was soooo much more pregnant than I had ever been! Over it!

Reply
The Paper Mama July 21, 2014 - 10:59 pm

Baby: Get out!

Reply
Jennifer July 21, 2014 - 10:59 pm

Last summer, I was due with baby #2 August 16. She arrived August 31. Yes. The 31st. The absolute last day even my au natural midwife would allow. The incessant phone calls, texts, and emails … unless you are bringing me more watermelon or gelato or want to come run my feakles (feet-ankles with no definition between the two), leave me. The. F. Alone.

Reply
Nordica Salminen Burns July 21, 2014 - 11:05 pm

I can SO relate, Mama! My first kid was perfectly perfect. Born au natural the day before his due date. The 2nd and 3rd both needed eviction notices 5 and 6 days past 40 weeks respectively. Uuuuugh. LOL!

Reply
Alexandra Rosas July 21, 2014 - 11:09 pm

So funny.

Reply
Jacklyn Turecek Cawiezel July 21, 2014 - 11:45 pm

YES!! To all of this. I was 10 days overdue with my 2nd. FREAKING 10 days of people calling to ask if I’ve had the baby. NO ASSHOLES. I’M STILL PREGNANT. Good luck, sister!

Reply
Laura Cochran July 22, 2014 - 1:26 pm

I went 41w5D and 41W- both had to be forced out even then. I feel you and I also feel those eyerolling friends 🙂

Reply
Leigh July 22, 2014 - 7:21 pm

That was me. 40 weeks and 5 days with my third. But sub military for my parents are leaving and childcare is kind of important for a home birth.
She came at 40+6 in under three hours.

Reply
Cheerful Homemaker July 22, 2014 - 11:24 pm

I delivered my second baby last year at 40w5d. I think the nagging family was the worst part of it. At 40w4d I ended up composing a long fb status asking everyone to STOP asking me how I was doing. Are they really scared that we won’t tell them we’ve had the baby? Granted, we don’t tell anyone we’re at the hospital until there’s a baby in our arms, but still. It’s hard enough to enjoy being pregnant when you’ve been pregnant for what feels like 80 months.

Reply
Gem Ma July 23, 2014 - 2:32 am

Love the ginger babies! Great choice of contributors.

Reply
Baby Rabies | Bats & Balls- This Is Not About Baseball {Contributor} August 22, 2014 - 1:43 pm

[…] very pregnant contributor Suzanne? Well, she’s very not pregnant now with a precious newborn baby boy. And today she’s […]

Reply
Charlie N Esmeralda Mann December 21, 2015 - 6:36 pm

I’m 40 weeks and 5 days today and this made me feel so much better . Thank you for the laughs !!

Reply
Sarah Horton April 21, 2016 - 12:39 pm

My mom went an entire month past due date with my sister. Someone either seriously miscalculated or her uterus was just not going to cooperate this time. When she was finally born, her skin was very wrinkly and peeling off. They said if she had stayed in much longer, she would have died. Still, anyone over 32 weeks has my full sympathy. Those last several weeks are the worst!

Reply
Crystal Merreighn August 13, 2016 - 7:26 pm

I’m 40 weeks 5 days today. I had contractions 3-6 mins apart all night that never progressed.
My fluid levels are high, too.
Midwife wants to induce in two days and I’m trying so hard to go into labor before then.
I feel like I’m losing my mind. lol

Reply

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

@babyrabies

Instagram did not return a 200.

Buy Jill’s Book

50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide

Up Your Phone Photography

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

©2019 | BabyRabies.com


Back To Top