I don’t blog very often about Scott, my husband. Largely because I always take the “Is it my story to tell?”approach with this blog. This blog isn’t about him or our relationship. It’s about me and my misadventures in parenting, my rants, my successes and failures.
And, to be honest, another part of that is I don’t want to come off like I’m bragging.
Because the guy is like a dad rockstar. Often, I feel like he does more than 50% of the work around here… but then I factor in that I’m breastfeeding, and I feel like that at least keeps us equal. (I especially like to remind myself of this on weekend mornings when he lets me sleep in, and takes all 3 kids to Home Depot.)
Last weekend I began to think I should include him some more. I was surrounded by one of my favorite groups of people, the Dad 2.0 Summit crowd. I’ve gone 3 years in a row now, and it’s so refreshing and inspiring. This whole collection of men and women are there to break down the stereotypes and move fatherhood forward. There are conversations that make me feel all the feels, and I cry more with this group than I do at any other conference all year.
These men are all putting themselves out there on their blogs, across social media, and in their daily lives. They are owning what fatherhood means to them, not what society, the media, and even previous generations tell them it should mean. They are changing the image of modern fatherhood at a grassroots level.
And I want to be a part of that. Not only because I think fathers deserve this change, but because I think mothers do, too.
Josh Levs, a CNN and NPR reporter, and one of the Dad 2.0 keynote speakers, filed a charge with the EEOC against Time Warner last year when he learned that he could not get paid time off to stay home and take care of his new baby (his wife needed to return to work), despite the policy allowing mothers, and adoptive parents to have that time off. Anyone could get paid time off after having a baby EXCEPT a biological dad. So he’s fighting to change that.
Mothers are constantly struggling to find balance and support, taking on too much, fighting for the opportunities to do both parenting and professional careers. We aren’t going to get very far in this battle if we don’t help fathers out at the same time. We can’t do this alone.
And in the end, the people who will benefit the most from this are our kids.
Hopefully subtly, I’ll add a little more of Scott and his fatherhood story in here. Because moments like these deserve a little piece of the internet. (And maybe I’ll even blog about his hat.)
I’ll leave you with this. If you think fatherhood is changing from the dumbed-down man who can’t navigate a grocery store and doesn’t touch diapers, you’re right. Well, at least the version that’s represented by the media. The average father on the other side of the screen has been more competent than given credit for for a long while, I’d argue. It’s just taken this long for the mainstream to begin to catch up. I’m glad they’re making strides.