Babies Don’t Keep, But Laundry Doesn’t Wash Itself

Babies don’t keep, but laundry also does not do itself.

So while I’ve been busy soaking in every moment with this adorable squish…


and Scott was busy trying to keep the other 2 kids from burning the house down, all of THIS was just sitting there, in mountains on our bathroom floor (and the entire floor of our closet) just, like, not getting clean. The nerve!


Truthfully, we haven’t been officially “caught up” on laundry since I got pregnant a year ago. For a year, we’ve been living with a rotation of mountains of dirty laundry, but we were mostly able to contain it to our closet floor, fighting it back behind a closed door with the kick of a foot when people came to visit.


Then the baby came. And all the fucks I did not give kept me from keeping the beast from migrating out of the closet and, like a slow but persistent mudslide, taking up more and more livable space.


There was a breaking point last week when we realized we were too far gone. There was no way our lone washer and on-it’s-last-leg dryer were going to get the job done. Nope. This called for the professional appliances.


This called for loading the whole family up on a Saturday in the middle of Icemageddon, and driving to the closest (and super nice with wifi and everything, I’ll add) laundromat for a day of family fun and bonding over laundry detergent.


The kids mostly loved it. Maybe because we bought them each a bag of Skittles and let them have endless screen time, but still. Beat the alternative of keeping them from trying to shut each other inside the machines.


After 2 hours there, then another 3 hours at home folding and putting away, the task was complete. 10 loads done!

And then I made everyone spend the rest of Icemageddon naked.

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  1. We did the same thing a few months ago just before I started work again after having my second (2 under 2 we have). I filled 2 60 lb and 2 30 lb machines. I was a bit embarassed, but you make me feel like I’m not a lone!!

  2. Don’t take this the wrong way…..but your husband is kinda cute. If you spend Icemageddon naked, or even just the rest of the winter naked……you might end up with baby #4.

    Just sayin 😉

  3. Now that I am home full time and only washing for me and two kids, I can always get the laundry washed and dried. However, since my husband is overseas at the moment, I have acquired a Laundry Husband, as there is an ever-growing pile of clean unfolded clothes on his side of the bed, occasionally squashed by a dog or cat or restless child. My Laundry Husband is accompanied by a perma-pile on the dresser and one on the basement couch. Basically there’s clean laundry everywhere. The worst part of nighttime accidents or 2 a.m. puke is the insta-laundry. I keep waiting for the Laundry Elf to fold it and put it away. Alas. (PS–This is how my plans to re-use our cloth diapers for #2 fell totally apart. I just could not keep up with normal laundry and wash diapers. Was never going to happen.)

  4. Kristin VanderHey Shaw on

    Laundy is the bane of my existence, and we have only one child! It is currently piled on my bed, waiting to fold. ARGH.

  5. I like your bottom line plan. “[Make] everyone spend [the winter] naked.” As a teenager, we did the laundromat thing many times while the house was being renovated. It was the best! OK, so my mom gave me car keys, cash, a ton of laundry & 2-3 siblings to go with and we got to spend the entire after goofing off unsupervised. But we also had to fold it before we brought it home. Great memories!

  6. OMG yes! Since having my daughter the laundry seems never ending, and she’s one! Our entire house was sick right after Thanksgiving and it’s taken me the better part of two weeks to catch up and just when you think you’re caught up…then you’re not.

  7. I hear you! I have a workshop manager mechanic Husband, 10yr & 9yr & 9 month old and I do 3 loads every day minimum! Oh we have 2 dogs and “his majesty” cat lol
    As we speak, I have 3 loads that need to be folded by my left and I have another 4 loads to be washed! *sigh*

  8. i swear, i am never done doing laundry. there is always a washer running, the dryer drying, a pile (or two) waiting to be folded and then a full basket of clothes waiting to be put away plus those that needed to be hung. we are only 4 people. i can’t figure out if invisible people live with us or we just feel like changing outfits every 30 seconds. the bane of my existence. for christmas i asked for a professional laundry folder to live w/ us.

  9. Nicole Peerson on

    My favorite part of college was getting all the laundry done in one afternoon at the laundromat. Now, it’s never ending.

  10. Claire Tomonaga on

    I have to say the thing that has made laundry less hideous in our house is the deal I struck with my husband after our daughter was born. I do all the washing and drying and it is his job to fold and put away. This may have saved our marriage!

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  12. great post- I feel your pain.
    a while back, our washing machine was broken. we casually mentioned it to some friends in conversation while we were ‘catching up’ with eachother. they offered the use of their washer. it was nice, but honestly I thought, no way, we are going to the Laundromat, getting it all done at once- I like the thought of 7 loads of laundry going at one time, even if it is a big pain. I thought it might be fun but quite awkward if we spent an entire day at a friends’ house doing all our laundry. plus, the Laundromats all have those magazines I never buy, People, Us weekly, what have you.

  13. I have thought about this so many times, but the act of washing is not my issue. It’s the folding and putting away that I hate….

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