12 Weeks Pregnant And Still Disbelieving

You know that thing some women do where they surprise their partner with the news that they’re pregnant, sometimes accompanied by cute things like tiny onesies that say Daddy Is My Homeboy? Yeah, I’ve never done that. Not that I see anything wrong with that approach, just that my style is more:

“HERE, LOOK, OMG.” ::shoves pee stick in husband’s face::

Actually, this is exactly how it went down this time:

I noticed toward the end of the 3rd week of November that I was super tired. Like, so tired I couldn’t stay up past 8, which is odd for me since I’m normally up working until midnight most nights. That Friday, I laid in bed after I woke and it hit me. I did the math in my head, and looked at my calendar on my phone. I was pretty sure my period was a few days late.

On my way through Target that afternoon, I picked up a test just so I could pee on it and get on with my weekend. I’ve had plenty of moments the last few years when I thought I was somehow magically pregnant, and it all turned out just fine after I took a test.

When I got home, arms full of groceries, tripping over baseballs in the hall, the kids were driving. me. bonkers. and I snapped. I yelled at everyone. The kids, the dogs, my husband.

“What is your problem today?” Scott asked.

OH. I WILL SHOW YOU MY PROBLEM. I thought, and I skipped off to the bathroom to pee on the test. Half hoping it was positive so I could make sense of my rage.

And then it was positive, and then I just did that thing where I was like, “Scott! Please come here…. Now… No, I’m serious…. JUST COME HERE AND I WILL TELL YOU.”

But instead of telling him, I just shoved the test in his face and said, “THIS is my problem, ” and we laughed… after about 15 minutes of shock.

This 3rd pregnancy was a “surprise.” I mean, not in an “I can’t understand how that happened” kind of way because we know how it happens, but in an “I can’t believe we got that lucky without trying at. all. or even thinking about it” kind of way.

If I was 16, it would be the “OMG, health class was right, sperm really CAN live forever, I’m so screwed” kind of way.

The last 2 pregnancies were very, very planned. Like, you’re familiar with why I started this blog, right? Why it’s named Baby Rabies? Because my baby fever was so out of control and I was so rabid for a baby that getting pregnant was basically a science experiment. And the 2nd time around, we approached things the same because we knew it worked.

This time, I’ve spent the last couple of months feeling like I’m living some sort of lie. I was 50% convinced I’d show up and my 8 week appointment and they’d be like, “Uhm, right… you’re not pregnant, silly.” And I’d be like, “I thought so. I’m just crazy and probably have cancer.” But even when they showed me that “baby” (blob with a heartbeat) on the ultrasound, I wasn’t 100% buying it. I thought something would likely go wrong. This was too easy.

Even hearing the heartbeat last week didn’t ease this feeling of disbelief for me. I actually have a 14 week ultrasound scheduled for next week (which I opted out of the last 2 pregnancies) mainly for the purpose of seeing something that resembles a baby, in hopes it will make it more real for me.

I’m 12ish weeks now, and so looking forward to the 2nd trimester. Some days I’m able to drink a cup of coffee (and some days I can’t handle looking at it). Those days are really good days because I’m able to do just a little more than put on a bra and check the mail.

So this begins the official belly pics. I didn’t do this with my  other 2 pregnancies, but I’m excited to document my last one this way. I don’t know if I’ll have the followthrough to do a belly pic every week, but I’ll for sure shoot for one every month.

Also, so strange, but so far I’ve put on 0 lbs. In fact, I’m about 1-2 lbs below what I was before I got pregnant. I usually gain weight steadily throughout my entire pregnancy, but I think having the flu may have had quite a bit to do with the difference this time. Be sure, I’m dedicated to making up for it. Last night I had TWO candy bars for desert. Just taking one for the team.


If you’re pregnant, a new mom, have babies in your life or are thinking of having babies in your life, you should come to the #MyGreenBaby Baby Shower on Twitter tomorrow, the 15th! I’m one of the guest panelists (@BabyRabies), and there are some really fantastic sponsors who are throwing in lots of great prizes. Check out more info in the invite below, and don’t forget to RSVP HERE! 



50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide
Available now: Amazon | Barnes & Noble

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  1. I stumbled on your blog accidentally I was looking for a wreath idea. I just wanted to thank you I’ve made the turkey and the monster tulle wreath. They are so cute and I got many compliments on them.

  2. So happy for you. We’ve decided to start trying for a baby again one last time after taking a break for four years. We have not been able to have a biological child, but we adopted our sweet son in May 2011. We’re going about it the natural way and if it doesn’t work this time either, that’s okay. We’ll just proceed with adoption again. Either way we’ll have a little one again soon. Looking forward to all the bump pics. 🙂

  3. You look so great! I didn’t gain weight through the first 12ish weeks of my last couple of pregnancies, but sure had a baby belly. It is so weird.

    Hooray for babies!

  4. Your story is so funny because…..I am in the EXACT SAME BOAT. I too had ridiculous baby fever and my first two (girl and boy) were VERY planned. I am 11 weeks tomorrow with a surprise baby also and like you, it doesn’t feel real AT ALL. And like you, I think I’m doing the u/s that I opted out of with my first two pregnancies (the NT scan) simply because I too don’t feel like this is real and maybe another look at the baby will help me. I’ve been enjoying your posts and thanks for (as usual) being so real 🙂

  5. Maybe there is something with 3rd babies….I am in the exact same boat. First two pregnancies were very planned. This time I thought I was having a nervous breakdown, took about 8 tests, and all positive. I am about 18 weeks now and still have a hard time believing it.

  6. Ha, I’m the shove-the-pee-stick-in-his-face type too. Or yeah, “You need to come here and see this!!” LOL. The first time we had many months of trying, so that was a surprise in that we didn’t expect it to WORK. My second and now third ones were a different story. 😛

  7. Jill,
    I’m sure everyone says “we’re so alike!” but I swear, we totally are 😛 I commented on Facebook a few weeks ago telling you that I was in the same boat about pregnancy, but now it’s funny how similar this is! I have an almost 5 yr. old and a 2 yr. old, and am currently 21 weeks with our 3rd. After suffering 2 miscarriages and having our 2nd son, I was pretty certain I was done, because of the pain of going through TTC and losses, but then, in Sept. started feeling SO very tired and grouchy, found out I was pregnant! We were in total disbelief because we had tried so hard with our youngest, and I was so obsessive, I figured it would always be like that. I was in disbelief for my entire first trimester! Even when I heard the heart beat for the first time, and saw our baby on the screen, I had to tell myself “you ARE pregnant.”

    I can tell you though now, I can drink coffee, and I’m popped out so much (3rd babies just PUSH you out!) that I KNOW I’m pregnant. 🙂

    Also, I usually balloon with my boys, but I’m only 7 lbs. up at 21 weeks! I didn’t gain until 18 weeks! I think it’s because we’re so active with the other 2.

  8. Oh, I can totally relate about not even being able to look at coffee bit. That was me when I was pregnant with my son. It lasted until I was 18 weeks, and at that point I figured I had gone without caffeine that entire time, that I mine as well just stick with the decaf. Next time I’m pregnant I’m praying not to have the dreaded coffee aversion. I have a toddler…Momma NEEDS the caffeine!!!

  9. Congratulations!! Three’s a great number 🙂 Our third is almost ten months old and not really planned at all. Hopefully you have a wonderful pregnancy! I love that you’re documenting the third one. I have this overwhelming guilt that because I didn’t do it with the first two that I shouldn’t do it with the third, even now that’s she’s here. I’m terrified that my boys will look back and see that I did something “different” because she’s the “baby” or a girl. Can’t wait to see how everything turns out for you! Best wishes

  10. I enjoyed this post so much! I am in the exact same boat! My one and two were easy, planned bundles of joy. Now I still can’t believe I am pregnant with number 3. After barely being able to tolerate my husband for four days straight, I realized something was different….something was hormonally different. A positive pregnancy test (on Christmas day) confirmed my suspicions. This wasn’t exactly what I asked Santa for. In fact, a month before finding out I was pregnant, I sold everything….high chair, swing, maternity clothes….sigh. My best friend’s husband is a family doctor and I am having him do an ultrasound tonight, just to reconfirm their is actually a baby. It seems so unreal. People congratulate me and I think “For what? Oh yeah, there’s supposed to be a baby inside me.”

  11. I’m with you. I’m still disbelieving I’m having twins. Hitting week 15 this week and really looking forward to the next ultrasound in a few weeks.

  12. The Inquisitive Mom on

    I haven’t had a surprise, but I’ve always been surprised by how quickly it happens for us. For our second, everyone seemed to say it took longer to get pregnant, so I did the math and picked the absolute earliest I would be cool with having a second bun in the oven. It happened fast and our poor son got a December birthday! Ah, well. The road to our third baby was filled with more ups and downs, but it’s always a surprise. I’ve had a few “uh-oh” moments lately, so I’m very grateful for the dollar store pregnancy test! What I love the most about your story is how you told him and then you laughed…I think this story is exactly what life will be like if I ever have a surprise! :0)

  13. We had a surprise, but… well it didn’t happen. Now our planned timing is completely derailed. Thinking wonderful thoughts for you. Insanely jealous, but wonderful thoughts.

  14. After a boy and a girl, I am also pregnant with baby #3 that somehow made her way into my womb without temping and charting and obsessing over OPKs! Imagine that! When I shoved the pee stick in my husband’s face, his only comment was “What does it say? I can’t see anything without my reading glasses”. Don’t worry, grandpa. This is our last. 🙂

  15. I just found your blog (I know, where have I been) but I love it already. Huge congratulations to you and you look great! My first (and only so far) pregnancy was very planned and I still didn’t quite believe there was a baby in there until one came out.

  16. Can I say that I’m totally jealous?! Our first was planned and our second would be… if only we could get pregnant! I’m in the opposite boat, I suppose. Trying and trying, then being convinced you’re pregnant only to have AF show a few days later. I’m totally jealous that you didn’t have to go through all of that with your third! GOOD LUCK TO YOU, MAMA! And I think it’ll be a great story to tell for years to come. I certainly enjoyed reading it!

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