How Can We Escape Puke & Poop?

That was Scott’s question to me earlier as he cleaned out Leyna’s little potty after she successfully filled it to the brim.

“Uh… go to an island without them?” I replied wistfully.

It’s been that kind of day. I laid on the couch most of it, convinced I was dying from some awful plague only after ruling out every possibility that I could be pregnant. I’ve been nauseous off and on for the last few days, but never to the point of puking.

Because I fight puking with all of my being. Every last ounce of energy is used to NOT EVER PUKE. 

I started to feel better this evening and suggested we go out to dinner since I didn’t feel like cooking and the kids were anxious to get out.

Little did I know that Kendall was actually serious when he told me his tummy hurt right before we left and wasn’t just playing me for bottomless soda.

“Mommy, my tummy hurts. I don’t want to eat anything. I just want to drink soda. 10 sodas.” << THAT’S WHAT HE SAID. So obviously I thought he was just being… smart.

Until he ran to the bathroom as soon as we placed our order at the restaurant, and then puked all over it.

And then all over his bed at home.


I’m glad he obviously hasn’t inherited my puke-phobia. Sorta.

The good news is I’m most definitely not pregnant because that’s not contagious. (And because, seriously, it would be impossible… but the contagion factor really sealed it for me… beyond the negative pregnancy test I took this morning. I have issues. I know.)

To entice him to stay in bed and “rest” (a.k.a. stay in the room that is already contaminated), I let him watch the Disney Jr. app on the iPad only after I stuck that bad boy in a Ziploc bag.

Feel free to pin that shit. “How to protect your iPad from your puking child,” or “DIY puke guard for the iPad.” I’m so clever.

And tired. Good night.

50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide
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  1. I’m the exact same when it comes to puking. Always have been, and I assume always will be. My first is just turning a year old this month and I just told my husband that I have absolutely no idea how I’m going to handle it when our kids are sick. Especially when they only want Mom. Hope you all feel better, and are puke-free soon 😉

  2. I am the same way when it comes to puking. Thank goodness for zofran this pregnancy, although it didn’t stop me from puking altogether much to my horror.

    I hope you feel better really soon. Nausea is the devil. And I also hope Kendall’s illness is short lived and doesn’t spread to the rest of the house.

  3. SERIOUSLY. We are exactly the same person exactly exactly exactly. “Because I fight puking with all of my being. Every last ounce of energy is used to NOT EVER PUKE.” That is seriously my goal in life. To never ever vomit. Vomiting = no. No no no no no.

  4. I’m a puke-phobic too and fight it just as you described. Can’t tell you the last time I threw up. Our oldest is 3 and we haven’t had a big boy puke yet (knock on wood!). I’m nervous for the day and really not sure I’ll be able to handle without losing my own. Are you able to deal with it?

    Hope everyone is better soon!!

  5. I HATE puking! I will fight it until I have to run to make it to the toilet… My husband is the opposit. Well, he doesn’t love it, just would rather get it over with and feel better. It is rather silly fighting it so hard since I always do feel better after… I don’t care. It’s gross and sucks!

  6. Right there with you on the puking, but whatever is going around here, well there’s no stopping it! Moving last night was all that would induce the room spinning sensation, and even as an adult I was unable to run to the bathroom quick enough! But after having been puked on 5 times in the last three days (my 1 year old gave this wonderful illness to me), and at least 2 dozen times since having children 4 years ago, you’d think I’d be used to this by now… but…. alas I’m not! Hope you guys are feeling better soon, because I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus!

  7. Ughh we had it Sunday and yesterday too. A mom’s least favorite sound, hearing puke hit the wall through the baby monitor. Yuck!

  8. Does anyone actually like puking? Nooo… and I am also one of those extreme puke fighters. I’ve been stricken with a stomach bug twice in one month, ENOUGH ALREADY! Why the forces of nausea evil have tried to conquer me this much in 30 days I’ll never know. Surely they have someone else to bother. Seriously, I hope you are feeling better soon!

  9. Stephanie Portz on

    I thought I was weird! I’m glad there are other people to understand! I just don’t puke — I even managed to hold it in DURING LABOR! I just can’t let myself. (And I usually don’t feel better afterward, so maybe that contributes to the effort)

  10. #1 – hope everyone is feeling much, MUCH better
    #2 – with FireGirl, she has a special lingo. Tummy hurts, or is sick = faking. But if she tells you her tummy is ‘hot’… well, that s*** is serious.
    #3 – brilliant idea with the ziploc bag. Now you just need to prototype some fancy schmancy way to market them and make tons of $$ off of it 🙂

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