Welcome Back, Ladies

Leyna hasn’t nursed in over 3 days. That’s not the result of a conscious decision to wean her on my part. It just happened. That whole don’t offer, don’t refuse approach. She’s not asked for them.

I actually didn’t realize it had been that long until last night when I finally figured out why my breasts were aching….

and looking awesome.

Feel free to mock my MySpace inspired self-portrait.

Can’t they just stay like this forever? Can’t I just pump every 3 days? Will that work?


I feel like we need to go to happy hour together and catch up. It’s been so long since they were both so perky-looking and equal sizes.

Granted, they’re about 3 inches closer to my belly button than they were in our glory days, but so are the bags under my eyes so I really can’t blame them.

I know they can’t stay forever, though. If this weaning thing is really happening, this is just the last hurrah before they skip town, leaving me with (as Jen from HaHas for HooHas put it) balloons filled with pudding.

Or rocks in tube socks.

Or fried eggs.

Until I get pregnant again and start the whole cycle all over.

And then get a boob job?

Leyna is nearly 22 months old, and maybe finally weaning

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  1. Hilarious – but I am not laughing at you…just with you. I have been a very perky & happy C cup since I was 15. I’m half Portuguese, so it’s in the genes. Or so I thought. Apparently the european blood in me is not strong enough to survive against the loss of breast milk. I am now a sad B, and barely one at that. A large part of me can’t wait to get pregnant again just so I can have my boobs back…

  2. I’m so with you…my 20-month old just stopped nursing about a week ago and I am pretty pumped (bad pun, couldn’t resist) about the temporary surprise benefit of weaning. I know it’s short-lived though and I’ll be sad when the super boobs are gone for good. I have also noticed in the last week that I am less crabby about my husband being in my personal space and my son has actually been sleeping through the night. I do feel a little sad about less snuggle time, but I’m mostly excited to be done. Good for you for making it 22 months.

  3. hehe, love this post! After nursing 2 kiddos I have a new appreciation for my never been so well endowed body, you can’t loose what you never had let’s just say 😉

  4. Sawyer is 3 and still not weaned, so I am envious! Although, I have had the same observation as you when he is gone for the weekend sometimes…. I’m like, “Whoa! Incredibly growing cleavage! Wahoo!” And then he comes home and they look like floppy pancakes. Ah, Motherhood.

  5. First, you rock for making it this far! Second, I do not even want to think about the deflation that will happen to by girls. Third, I might have a coffee can of quarters stashed in my bedroom as a pre-savings fund for the boob job I’ll have to put my girls back up on my chest where they’re supposed to be instead of, you know, down at my navel where they’re most decidedly NOT supposed to be.

  6. I’m so scared for my baby to wean! I nursed my first for 22 months until I was pregnant with his sister and now she’s still nursing at 14 months. I’m pretty sure she’s my last baby so what will happen to my boobs??? I’m concerned. So we’ll just keep on keepin’ on until she’s done.

  7. I was an A cup before I had my first baby, & now that number two is weaned…? Well, have you ever seen two partially melted hershy kisses?

  8. I”m so glad I’m not the only one who took a selfie shot of the girls when weaning. Mine will never ever look like that again unless I go under the knife. Well it was fun for the short span of time it lasted.

  9. I kind of want to feel you up. And wow, boobs have such a magical hold over me. I still look at the pics I took of mine and am amazed at their lusciousness. Why? Why couldn’t they stay? Why couldn’t I have just pumped forever? WHY? — signed, Card Carrying Member (Or, Potentiall Owner/Operator of Mosquito Bites for Boobs Club)

  10. 1. Brava for 22 months!!! 2. I TOTALLY tried to keep pumping out of sheer vanity after my 20-month old weaned, but by then lefty was so damn uncooperative it didn’t pan out. Maybe you’d have better luck! You can always donate and tell yourself it’s not about vanity but rather good citizenship 🙂

  11. I’m so jealous of your weaning! My son will be 10 months in a few days and I am counting down to a year. I want my girls to be my business again, even if that means they deflate. I have loved nursing and I am sure I will miss it, but I miss underwire bras, not having to pump at work or in parking lots at the mall or what have you. I am ready for them to be un-useful again (except for the drinks and helping me win card games via distraction).

    • I’m with you. I nursed my daughter till 16months and then my hubby wanted the booby back. 🙂 My son was SO over it at a year that we just took a month to wean and that was that. I’m 5 weeks away from having baby number 3 and already am thinking about a year filled with pumping in awkward places or having a baby attached to me at all times. I love my kids but also love my personal space. Nursing is something I would fight for if necessary but that doesn’t mean I love every min. of it. As far as the boobs go-they used to be so pretty-now they are as battle-worn as the belly. There is just no getting this body back to pre-baby looks!

  12. Wow…weaning! I am having a hard time imagining a day without nursing. Your post frightens me, though- my first daughter self-weaned at 8.5 months, and I must admit, the girls pretty much went back to normal. Second baby, 13 months and NO END IN SIGHT, I truly fear for my boobs. You’re right, though, you can always get pregnant again and restart the cycle of boob fabulousness! Congratulations on weaning!

  13. Ugh. Matthew just turned 2 and is down to nursing once every couple days… on one hand, I’m SO over it… I’ve either been pregnant or nursing for the past 5 years, and loved almost every minute of it, but it’s time to have my boobs back. Except they’re already a far cry from the perky C+/D of my pre-baby days… I’m already in mourning and it’s only going to get worse. And I’m all done with babies, too. BOO. :*(

  14. Very nice perky boobs!
    It’s been about 3 months since my 15 month old weaned. Toward the end he only liked the left side, so I get that uneven feeling 😉
    I miss my boobs, they look so sad now 🙁

  15. Woolies, Naturally on

    My second son quit nursing at 9 months. I was freaking out calling all the nursing moms I knew…but that was it. He was done. Went straight to a cup. Not to be confused with a C cup.

  16. Hahah!! Love this – my daughter is also 22 months, but NOT slowing the heck down with nursing…but some days, she goes longer between, and all of a sudden HOLY POOP. They are awesome. But then the boob alarms go off and it’s not so awesome.

  17. Thanks for making me feel normal. I was starting to freak out because my 18-month-old hasn’t made a move to wean really, but she is gradually slowing down – glad to hear I’m not the only one with an older baby nursing (I’m getting some Time-magazine type raised eyebrows from certain family members, which I hate to admit was shaking my confidence). However, the slow wean has made my breasts freaking SPECTACULAR, so no complaints there.

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