Step aside, finger paints.
Your time is up, drum set.
There is a new guy in town, and he’s the most passive AGGRESSIVE of all the messy and obnoxious gifts anyone can give anyone’s kid.
He is… THE CRAYOLA COLORED BUBBLES.
Because clear bubbles, obviously, aren’t fun enough… anymore. This day’s child needs CYMBAL CRASHING, PAINT SPLATTERING, BARNEY DVD ON REPEAT equivalent mother effing bubbles.
No, he was not just attacked by an angry bucket of green food coloring. Just, you know, BLOWING BUBBLES.
They are bright, and they are colored, and they are here to stay.
Seriously. That shit has sat through 2 rain falls.
“They are messy fun for outside!“ some may remind me. Yeah, yeah, I’m aware of the company line.
And these feet leave these footprints on my floor before I can catch him and ask him to leave his shoes outside.
Listen, I adore 99% of the stuff Crayola makes, and I’m not saying they should stop making these bubbles. I’m just saying these are a powerful tool for evil, and should be treated as such. Only give the kids that belong to the people you hate the VERY MOST these bad boys.
Finger paints and drum sets should suffice for people you only hate a little.
Kendall got these for a birthday present. I’m very afraid of the mom who was responsible for it. I probably shouldn’t be left alone in a room with her.