Back from “vacation,” and by “vacation” I mean road trip from hell with brief moments of lovely family time, peppered by toddler terror and anxiety on blast from lack of sleep and too much screaming in my ear.
If I’m not making any sense to you right now it’s because I’m not making sense to myself, and thus, that would make sense, right?
Easter was fun. I took pretty pictures.
Oklahoma is a nutritional wasteland (but I’ve discussed this before). We had a picnic in our Jeep in the parking lot of an Oklahoma Walmart, consisting of cold cuts and crackers and peaches…obviously.
I would suck as a pioneer and traveling in covered wagons and shit. I was whiny that we couldn’t reach the DVD player from the front to re-start the movie for Kendall and that there was no way to plug a TV in front of our POSESSED 15 month old. I started googling, from my phone, new cars that have wi-fi hot spots built in because my small phone was getting really annoying and I wanted a real keyboard. (This would be where you picture me stomping my feet like Veruca from Willy Wonka.)
Someone asked me to blog tips for road trips, to which I suggest:
1. Don’t go on road trips
2. Rot the children’s brains with TV and video games… they are easier to deal with in a comatose state
3. Don’t forget to pack your own food… and sneak some liquor in there for the lucky soul who’s not driving and therefore on WHERE IS THE EVER LOVING PACIFIER, SO HELP ME, IF YOU THROW IT ONE MORE FUCKING TIME duty by default.
4. Don’t go on road trips with teething toddlers
5. Bring lots of pacifiers
6. Don’t ask me for road trip advice
And now I get to try to claw my way back to some sort of normal… so please forgive the disruption around here for a bit.
Feel free to discuss amongst yourselves how great or not so great your weekend was. I can’t promise I’ll be a part of the convo because the things to do, there are many of them.