Funny Thing About Sleep

It’s, like, essential to function. Bummer, right?

I mean, I would be a MUCH better mother and housekeeper and a freaking rock star blogger if I didn’t need sleep.

Why, sleep, why must I be so dependent on you?

Scott’s been on a business trip all week, but I was determined not to let everything fall to pieces while he was gone. Monday started out great. I actually slept pretty well the night before, having gone to bed at 10 (possibly a touch worn out or…. buzzed from the Super Bowl festivities). I got to sleep in since Scott was driving out that day, but he didn’t have to leave super early.

I kicked Monday in the ass. I cleaned all the things and blogged all the things, and I did that while the children slept. I kicked Monday in the ass so hard that I was SuperMom, Blog Superstar and a fucking Merry Maid all in the same day.

Monday night I had to get up with my STILL WAKING UP ALL THE FREAKING TIME ONE YEAR OLD, but I was able to make up for it by taking a quick power nap on Tuesday while Leyna napped and Kendall was at school. I powered through, cleaned even more things, got some work done, and totally didn’t neglect a single child.

Wednesday was a struggle. I napped again while Kendall was at school and Leyna napped (for 3 hours because why sleep at night when we can sleep all day when mother should be working?), but it was less a power nap and more a coma. I got drive through Taco Bueno for dinner and killed 2 baby seals by throwing everything away since I didn’t have the energy to take out the recycling. I then stayed up until 12:30 getting work done that I should have done while I was in my afternoon coma.

Leyna woke last night 6… 9… a billion times? Kendall crawled into bed at 7 this morning and I handed him my phone without even opening my eyes, “Here mmmmpphhhh….. play. Game. Quiet.”

Being the brilliant boy he is, seeing how beyond tired and completely vulnerable I was, he began whining that he didn’t want to play any of those games. “I want a neeeewwwww game, momma,” he quietly whispered in my ear while I tried to bat him away like a fly. Before he could eek out, “pleeeEEEEAAAssee” the 5th time, I’d typed my password into the app store and hit purchase. I do this often. There are days I don’t even remember buying the new game. I’m certain I do it in my sleep.

Now, I’m in walking zombie mode. I care not about the house. The blog schedule can go to hell. I didn’t make Kendall brush his teeth this morning. I’m not even sure if I brushed my teeth this morning.

Scott’s going to be home in a couple hours, and I’ve been bragging all week about how on top of things I’ve been. I’ll just have to throw my hands in the air and say, “Sorry you missed it,” when he walks in.

I’ve had my suspicions over the last year, but I finally feel confident claiming any and all of my incompetencies and my raising iTunes budget on my total lack of sleep and my sickening dependence on it.

Kendall is 3.5ish and Leyna is 13 months old 



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  1. Awww, mamas everywhere can sympathize. Even though we go into parenthood ‘knowing’ sleep is elusive, it never seems real till you bring that screaming demon-child home….THEN you know. Quite frankly, I”m completely amazed at how much you accomplished on such parcels of sleep. One day at a time, right? *hugs*

  2. I think ALL my week look like this. I think it also has something to do with Caroline ALSO still waking up EVERY NIGHT. Go to sleeeeeeep children.

    How come the kids can get by with so much less sleep and still have SO MUCH ENERGY?

  3. Aww, I’m right there with you because I have a previously-champion-sleeper of a 17 month old who wakes atleast 1-2 times a nigt…after being THAT baby that slept 6 hours a night from the day she was born. At one point last summer we were struggling for a few weeks with night waking/long day-time naps and our pedi told us to limit her nap to 2 hours tops (wake her up after that). If she needed two naps, then break them up to 1 hour each. Worked like a charm then. Don’t know what to do now because the only thing I can do during the day is eliminate the nap and I am surely not ready for two children who don’t nap.

  4. MH actually said to me when my son was 4 months old and nursing every 2 hours 24 hrs a day: “Just tell me, is this really the best you can do?” (re: the housekeeping) I almost had a stroke. I told him to see how well HE FUNCTIONS on three 90 minute naps a night, b/c when the baby does sleep during the day, our 2 year old is still up and needs her mama.
    I had that Ferber book memorized by the time DS turned 6 months old, i was SO READY to start sleep training. We’re still working on it, but I have to say, that Ferber is a GENIUS in my book.
    Ugh. Sleep. So necessary and so missed…

  5. Awww, we (I) know you feel. I will have a TERRIFIC day where I feel like I must have done a line of something to keep me so on top of it, full of energy, focused, and driven. On that day, I get the shower sparkling, clean the bathrooms, vacuum, and get ALL CAUGHT UP on laundry. I feel like I can take on the world. Then, the next day hits. Ouch, that hurts. Yep, so thanks for sharing, and I’ve been there! 🙂

  6. When my SO was away for a total of two months over the summer and I was solo-parenting, I pretty much lowered my expectations to nothing. No wait. I made myself shower. Every other day. And feed the children. That baby I was trying to get to sleep in his crib – fuckit, we co-slept. I needed sleep and all my high ideals when pfft, right out the window. All that fantasizing I did about being a single parent when my SO was pissing me off… that went right out the window, too. Glad he’s home and hopefully you can (start) feeling human again.

  7. This is so what happens every time my Mr. goes out of town too. The first day I’m all super-mom to the max…everything is squeaky clean and perfect…by the time he comes back, be it two days later or ten, I’ve burned myself out so badly I can’t even keep on top of the basics and the house looks like it’s been driven through by a convoy of leaking garbage trucks.

  8. I am with you on just handing my 3yo my iPhone in the morning and letting him play….I charge my phone overnight just for those extra 15-30 mins of sleep. Thankfully he loves the games I have and rarely asks for new ones, plus I don’t think I can type my iTunes password in while 3/4 asleep =P lol great post!!

  9. My husband was out of town this week too…and I too get all ‘I’m going to rock this week’ and then let it all fall apart by the time he gets home. And if it’s not my 1.5 year old waking up at 2am to play, it’s the one in my belly that feels the middle of the night is the best time to practice her yoga and karate.

    I hope your weekend is much better than your week…and that you catch up on a little sleep!

  10. It’s so refreshing to hear a mama admit to needing sleep! I’d jump in front of a freight train for my kiddos, but for the love of all things holy, I can’t spend all night up with them and be happy and productive all day too. When both of my twins start to sleep through the night, then I’ll attempt to be productive 😉

  11. ” killed 2 baby seals by throwing everything away since I didn’t have the energy to take out the recycling. ” LOVE THIS! I do the same thing!!
    Also with the brushing the teeth, if I forget and am already downstairs, screw it! Gum to the rescue!!

  12. I wish I could be like my husband and function on 5-6 hours of sleep every night. I need at LEAST 7-8 to be a normal human being, more if I want to be a supermom. Fortunately, Vicki has been sleeping well for the last 6 weeks (anti-jinx) so I’ve been doing OK. Not looking forward to all the travel my husband has coming up, though. And when #2 is here in June and I’ll have to do it with 2 kids and less sleep? I’m screwed.

  13. My twins are almost 6 and my husband has been traveling since before they were born…. the 4th day with dad away is always the WORST. No matter how much I try to prepare or underachieve, something always goes insanely wrong by day 4. It’s a good reminder that I need a partner in life!

  14. Girl, I know exactly how you feel! Besides working at the nail salon from 930-630 six days a week, I barely have the energy to keep up with my almost one year old, let alone manage the blog like I used to. Or even catch up on blogs I usually read!

    I swear, after a word day, bathing, feeding, and putting the baby to sleep. I just pass out right there until feeding time. I feel the guilt, but I can’t help it! I love me some sleep!

  15. Im right there beside you! I have four girls a 6, 4, 2, and 4 month old and only my 6 year old sleeps through the night! I have to admit I do my best to keep the laundry done and the dishes clean! Lol

  16. My husband was gone all weekend and I was left with the 4, 3, and 18 month old. I had grand plans of the great things we’d do and stuff I’d accomplish while he was gone. Ha! I escaped to the grocery as soon as he walked in the door yesterday and ran into another neighborhood mom…I don’t think either of us had showered in days and we both admitted to not brushing our teeth (and it was 4 pm) yet. We talked for a good 30 minutes in the dairy aisle bc neither of us wanted to go home! Nice to know it’s not just you, right?

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