Well, yesterday was quite the day. My post about letting my 12 month old “cry it out” got pretty much nothing but support over here, but it is STILL a bitch fest over on my Facebook page about it all (and many other FB pages, I’m sure, where I’ve been called a selfish bitch and accused of “checking out” after 5 pm).
Meh. I’m not upset. In fact, I totally expected each and every one of those reactions. I’ve been a part of this mommies-on-the-internet thing way too long not to. I grew up on the tough streets of TheKnot/Nest/Bump. I have seen me some kuh-razy when it comes to internet judgement.
Last night I remembered a post I wrote nearly 3 years ago about My Take On Mommy Wars. I’m happy to say my views on the whole thing still haven’t changed, and the biggest takeaway from it I think we all need to remember and BELIEVE is this:
I’ve never hidden that I have a past history of harsh judgement of mothers. Those attitudes actually set me up to fail and feel like shit when I became a mother, and I’m not the judgemental bitch I used to be. Everyone can stand a little growing and reflection at some point, and anyone can change.
If you want to be a part of the movement of mothers online who are fed up with all the “mommy wars” and maternal internet bullying, I encourage you to head to my friend Elizabeth’s amazing website The Mom Pledge, and take the pledge. Those of us who have moved beyond judging (or never did to begin with) need to start speaking up and being louder than those who will belittle us for our choices and tear us down instead of helping us stand up and build a stronger community of mothers.
Because, ladies, we don’t deserve this shit. None of us. Not even the ones doing the judging. Motherhood is a lonely, hard, cold road when traveled alone, and many mothers only have the internet to turn to for support. Let’s make it as warm and inviting as a cozy home that smells of freshly baked cookies (or at least NOT like the piss your kid leaves behind when he misses the mark), ready for a friendly playdate. Your playdate can even involve wine. Just try to be a good hostess, kay? Even to the people who are different from you. (And seriously, if your playdate involves wine, I better be invited.)