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Parenting LOLZ

Festive Mommy Truths

by Jill November 29, 2011
November 29, 2011

It’s the MOST wonderful tiiiimme of the yeeear!

You know, the time of the year when we make our life one million times harder by trying to hide gifts from sneaky kids, bake more in 3 weeks than we have the rest of the year, and put up a tree in our living room covered in things the children should not touch. Then spend our days saying “don’t touch that” and rearranging misplaced ornaments before we finally say F-it and embrace the worlds ugliest Christmas Tree, complete with random assortment of action heros stuck inside the branches.

The commercials would have you believe this is the time of year parents gaze at their twinkle-eyed children and bask in their wonderment. The TRUTH is, this is a time of year we spend a lot of time wondering if all this is worth the hassle.

This first one is inspired by what it was like to put up our Christmas Tree this weekend.

And when I read this as Danielle Elwood’s Facebook status I snorted with laughter.

Merry, Merry! Pass the wine.


50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide
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9 comments

Stephanie November 29, 2011 - 12:41 pm

HA!! I am not ashamed to say that I have tried the squirt bottle trick with the toddler (because it IS highly effective when it comes to the cat)! It is, however, not so effective with a toddler who loves water and then wants to have it squirted into her mouth.

Reply
Whitney November 29, 2011 - 1:27 pm

Love it!!! In our house, all-hail the ‘fence’ (aka the Super Playyard from BRU). Not so cute, but saves my ornaments and sanity!

Reply
Crysi November 29, 2011 - 1:39 pm

We tried the squirt bottle too, at my ILs suggestion. Does. Not. Work. The twins love water too much & only want to drink out of it. 🙁
We get our tree next year. After 5 years of small children, no breakable ornaments go on our tree. This year we have an insane cat who I’m positive will be worse than the 2 year old twin tornadoes.

Reply
Crysi November 29, 2011 - 1:39 pm

Next week, not next year. You can see where my head is.

Reply
Monica November 29, 2011 - 5:57 pm

Can I just say I don’t mean to offend anyone, but why do so many people have so much trouble with their kids and trees? I have never had an issue. Gone through this three times with babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and kids. Never once had an issue with my kids and the tree. When they are really little I just make sure nothing breakable is on the bottom of the tree. When they get a little bit older I show them how nice the tree looks after we get it decorated and how we want to keep the ornaments where they are and then gentle reminders of look with our eyes and not with our hands. Never had an issue before. Didn’t ever have to think of spraying my children with water. Not that I would think that would ever work since they usually like water. I just don’t get it.

Reply
Jill November 29, 2011 - 6:16 pm

Meh… different kids for different people. Different situations. Also? It’s a joke 🙂

Reply
FireMom November 29, 2011 - 6:14 pm

Oh man. I thought I was just a horrible mom the other day when we were decorating and I just wanted everyone to DISAPPEAR. Whew.

Reply
Jill November 29, 2011 - 6:16 pm

I was like, seriously, next year we are doing this while they are ASLEEP.

Reply
Amy November 29, 2011 - 8:00 pm

I’m totally going to try the squirt bottle trick now…

Reply

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