The moment you become a parent, time begins to whip by, increasing in speed with every passing day.
The moment your baby starts screaming the first night they show signs of colic, time slows to a crawl as you plod through, officially, the longest night of your life.
Time completely stops the first time you witness, in slow motion, your baby face planting onto a tile floor.
On days when naptime is skipped, bedtime will be delayed by 2 days.
On days when children nap, 2 hours will go by in 15 minutes. All you will accomplish in that 15 minutes is screwing around on the internet and cleaning 1.5 dishes.
“Free time,” or any time away from your children, consists of tasks like bathing oneself and enjoying some old school rap with the windows down as you drive to the store to buy stuff for the children.
While your children breeze through milestones in the blink of an eye, you will continue to be shocked when you realize that other people’s children are, in fact, also growing.
For every child you have, the amount of time it takes to get out of the house is multiplied by 17.
Daylight Savings Time will F you and your schedule so hard.
As a parent, there will absolutely never, ever, nope, not EVER be enough hours in the day. Nuh uh, not even next month. Not even when you finish that big project. Nope. Never. Never again.
Kendall is 3 years 5 months, Leyna is 9.5 months