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The StoryToddlers

The Post So Many Have Been Waiting For

by Jill August 15, 2011
August 15, 2011

An update on the terrorist…

Listen, I really hate to even type this out FOR FEAR I JINX IT.

But, for you all, I will because I owe it to you.

And because I can’t have you all thinking my kid is perpetually terrible.

I’m not saying he’s fully reformed, but I think I shall now classify him as a “happy boy with mild terroristic tendencies” (even though they can be acute at times.) <<<I typed that in a very quiet whisper.

I don’t know what it is. I don’t know what caused the change. I’d like to tell you all it’s because I was a terrific counter, and I controlled my temper, and I modeled perfect behavior. I wasn’t, I didn’t, I don’t.

I think the change in him comes from a lot of things:

From me, it was an effort on my part to cut him some slack, recognizing that he can sense my frustration and trying to eliminate unnecessarily frustrating situations (which is incredibly hard when I’m writing on a deadline and he’s home from school for summer vacation), and working REALLY HARD at rewarding his positive behavior.

From him, and this is the big one, I think it was just time and growth. The kid has grown up this summer. He has actual conversations with us. Ones that involve sentences like, “Sometimes I get really mad when I can’t play golf in the house.” Ones that we can then, in turn, explain, “I’m sorry that makes you mad, but sometimes it’s not okay to play golf in the house. We’ll have to find more time to play it outdoors when it cools off.” And it’s almost like he gets it.

But I think the biggest thing that’s lead to this change is giving him acceptable outlets to let off steam. He played t-ball this summer, and he plays Wii Sports and Wii Sports Resort every. single. day. I do not feel one fraction of an ounce of guilt over that. It was 100+ for 41 days in a row here. That Wii has been a sanity-saver this summer.Ā (It was given to me, I have to disclose that I’m a Nintendo Ambassador, but I genuinely love that thing for this very reason.)

And yes, most of the time we let him play golf in the house.

Kendall is 3 years 3.5 months and Leyna is 7.5 months old.


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20 comments

Courtney August 15, 2011 - 5:22 pm

This post makes me smile. Especially since we’re looking at having our second when our first is around 3 or so. I hope we’re able to reason with him a bit and explain to him why his life will be changing so very drastically.

Reply
teeny August 15, 2011 - 5:22 pm

It’s the magic of 3 1/2. 2 going into 3 is just awful, they ramp up the tantrums and aggression something fierce. But somewhere around 3 1/2 a lightbulb turns on, and they (usually) figure out that talking gets them more than crying (usually),

Enjoy this while it lasts. Things are going to suck again around 7-8. Sorry.

Reply
Jill August 16, 2011 - 5:21 pm

I’m bracing myself for it to get worse tomorrow. I can’t really accept that he’s not going to regress again soon.

Reply
Brett August 15, 2011 - 5:25 pm

He already has the grip down! And the plaid shorts!

Reply
Jill August 16, 2011 - 5:22 pm

You would think we actually golf with how natural this comes to him. No, we both hate golf. HATE. This will be his form of rebellion. He will grow up to be a golfer.

Reply
Megyn August 15, 2011 - 5:26 pm

You give me hope!! Dealing with a newly 3 year old terrorist with the memory of an elephant! Although he always tells us why he’s mad or senses all of our feelings, like “You fwustated? Why yous fwustated?” However, when push comes to shove, he can tell us everything AFTER he’s thrown in WW3 for day.

Reply
Christina August 15, 2011 - 5:41 pm

You give me hope, but as C is the exact same age as K, but is still a terrorist, I don’t know when it’s going to happen.

Reply
emily bilbrey August 15, 2011 - 5:45 pm

so happy to read this! good for you guys! and why in the WORLD would you ever feel guilty about letting your kiddo play wii sports? it’s fantastic physical & mental exercise, and 100+ degrees? that would be just plain dangerous for kids to play in for very long, eep! you’re a great mama, lady. go with your instincts, keep your chin up and keep on keepin’ on.

LOVE the new blog look, too! (:

cheers!

Reply
MomEinstein August 15, 2011 - 6:20 pm

I’m so glad that things have turned around for you! I cannot imagine being stuck indoors with a terrorist toddler. I’m excited I have a Wii for the inevitable winter days where we’re stuck inside.

Also, love his golfing outfit. All he needs is a caddy.

Reply
TheNextMartha August 15, 2011 - 7:03 pm

That is great. I remember the exact time frame that my older son just “got it” and became “normal” It was wonderful. My younger is 4 and has chilled out some. I’m hoping for more cause he is quite the pistol.

Reply
Meghan August 15, 2011 - 7:04 pm

Thank you so much for this post! It gives me hope that the terrorist days of living in fear of the next “attack” won’t last forever haha!

Reply
Suzanne August 15, 2011 - 8:51 pm

You give me hope. We’re deep in the screaming, no-words-for-his-feelings stage but a light at the end of the tunnel makes it feel a TINY bit more bearable.

Reply
ellen August 15, 2011 - 9:03 pm

We went through colic and terrorist moments right along with you! So far, three has been great! Emma says, “let’s sit and talk, mama!”. It is usually about her going to disney with her boyfriend, but at least she wants to talk!
Glad you can enjoy him more now:)

Reply
Lindsay August 15, 2011 - 10:16 pm

I am so happy to read this! It gives me hope (add to the list!) that my sweet, sunny girl will make a reappearance sometime soon. She is 3years2months and full of toddler angst. The teenage years are going to be lovely!

Because let’s be honest, our kids are so much more fun to be around with they aren’t screaming at you! And if we’re not screaming at them, that’s even better. šŸ˜‰

Reply
Devon August 15, 2011 - 10:45 pm

My son is about to be 2 in October & I have a feeling we are headed right into this stage. Reading this makes me feel like we have a chance at coming out the other side unscathed!

Reply
Kristin August 15, 2011 - 10:55 pm

This makes me scared. The tantrums are only just beginning at my house though. So far, he does pretty well if we redirect him or give him a shoe. or food. He’s basically a dog. šŸ˜‰

Reply
sarah disenchantedsl August 16, 2011 - 5:57 am

i dont get how my husbands mother coped. she had 2 boys and 2 girls all under 5… and my dads mother had 3 under 6. after seeing friends struggling to cope with one, and your struggle with K, i worry how i will cope, im the most forgetful person i know, and i have sleep issues. i will be destroyed.

Reply
Jill August 16, 2011 - 10:32 am

There are times, Sarah, that I really think this would be easier with more than one his age (or close to it). I think so much of his frustration stems from being bored and us just not being able to play with him all day long. He’s getting better about independent play, now, which is really helping.

Reply
verdemama August 16, 2011 - 7:21 pm

I’m very happy for you, and–somewhat selfishly–very encouraged for my family too. My son is 2.5 years old and is going through a “difficult” phase as well. Good to be reminded there’s some light at the end of the tunnel.

Reply
Mommy Points August 16, 2011 - 11:19 pm

Oh my gosh. He is so big. And adorable. Great post, glad to hear that things are going a bit better. Did I mention he is so big and adorable??!!

Reply

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