That’s Me.

You know that girl without kids who thinks she would be such a better mother than all the mothers she sees?

That was me.

You know that girl who could not, for the life of her, understand how parents couldn’t get their kids to listen to them?

That was me.

You know that mom who has that kid that does the exact opposite of what she says ALL. THE. TIME. and thinks it’s funny?

That’s me.

You know that mom who’s always chasing after her kid, abandoning her screaming infant in a hot car so she can fetch her toddler who’s aimlessly running through a parking lot?

That’s me.

You know that mom who’s always losing her shit in public?

That’s me.

You know that mom who never looks happy because she’s constantly on guard for the next time her toddler decides to disobey her and put himself and/or others in danger?

That’s me.

You know that mom who reads and asks and strategizes and stresses and does every thing she can to figure out just how the hell she is fucking up so bad?

That’s me.

You know that mom who looks at all the other moms with the calm, disciplined, obedient children and beats herself up for not having it all together like they surely must have?

That’s me.

You know that mom who has the kid who thinks it’s appropriate to pull his pants down at the park in front of 20 other people to pee?

That’s me.

Karma’s having a great time getting back at me today.

Kendall is nearly 3, Leyna’s 3 months, and I’m 3 seconds away from locking myself in my room all day.

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  1. Ah sweetie… We’ve all been “that mom”. Huge virtual hugs to you today. You sound like you could use one… and wine… and a bubble bath. LOL! Tomorrow’s a new day and heres hoping it all goes smoothly.

  2. Aww, sounds like you’re having a rough day. I hope it gets better for you & that the kids give you some peace today.

    BTW, even tho it’s embarrassing now, it’s super hilarious & some day you’ll look back at this moment and laugh about it.


    You could just use this little anecdote to tease and humiliate Kendall about later on when he brings his future girlfriends over the house, haha!

  3. I almost always am thankful that I don’t have a calm, obedient, disciplined child.
    I was one. A perfect angel. That’s because my mom broke my spirit. Nothing I did was ever good enough for her, I was always in trouble for something that I couldn’t help, I was sent to my room for hours for any mess up.
    I thought that if I behaved she’d love me and hug me again. Didn’t work.

    I’d rather have my son feel he can run around and express himself whether it be positively or not than feel like his mother’s life would be better without him around.

    • Ashleen, that just breaks my heart. I struggle so much with telling my kid no too much versus letting him run wild. I don’t ever want to break his spirit, but I want him to listen to me when it counts. Ugh.

  4. TheNextMartha on

    Wait, there’s some mom who’s kid doesn’t pee in the middle of the park? Only one right? I mean it’s just a fluke? I think you’re in good company with the rest. Wait until 3.5. Your life will change.

  5. 🙁 aw, jill. I hope your day gets better. I used to be “That Mom” even though I’m not a mom. “I’ll always wear my hair nicely when I’m in public with kids” and “My kids will never be that loud in public”. I have changed my mind and self in the past year. Now I see a frazzled mom with a screaming infant and a runaway toddler and I try to lend a hand and at the very least, I say a short little prayer for the momma. Raising kids can be a tough job, Momma, but keep your chin up. You are doing a fantastic job of raising 2 beautiful children. Again, I hope your day gets better. Maybe a glass of wine will help 😉 It is 5 o’clock somewhere, lol

  6. Oh, not to worry. My mom let my 3 yr old son pee in the park the other day because there was no one there and she couldn’t find a bathroom. And then last night, we were all outside playing and my son looks around and asks “where can I poop? I have to go poop?” Ugh!!!

  7. Oh Honey! LOL Trust me, I read your blog and am envious of how together you have yourself! This is from the chick who lives in MAINE and whose kid wouldn’t wear a hat all winter, and she’s not even 2 yet. I’m screwed.

    • HahahahahahahahahahaaHA! Yes. He already goes 2 days a week and will be going 3 days a week this summer. And his teachers swear he’s a little angel for them. He must be saving all his rebellion for the days I’m on duty.

      • Yes, he does save it up for you because he knows no one else will put up with that shit and still love him to pieces the way you do.

  8. That’s me. I was THAT mom the other day at Target when I stood in the front of the store battling my two-year-old for almost 5 minutes because he refused to get into the shopping cart. And, as soon as I did get him in, my four-year-old decided he needed to go to the bathroom…IMMEDIATELY. At one time or another we are all “that mom” and anyone that says otherwise is either lying to herself or never leaves her house.

  9. Oh girl. I’m telling you. This is just such a rough age. Landon has been an angel up until now.

    Yesterday, he just ran up to his baby brother who was standing innocently at the toybox, shoved him face first into the wood floor and proceeded to bawl and scream for 15 minutes when we put him in timeout as if HE was the one that was hurt.

    When I asked him to say sorry to his brother and hug it out, he said no and ran into his room. Alrighty then.

    As he approaches three, he is becoming more and more tough to redirect. He gets upset more often and quickly, I might add. His fits of frustration seem to appear out of nowhere!

    My mom raised four daughters (I’ve no idea how she survived the teenage years but I know it shortened her life expectancy). She told me that 2 is nothing compared to 3. So gear up, lady. I’m trying to prepare myself for a really rough year with my 3-year-old and 1-year-old. Lord help me.

  10. it’s me too, Jill.

    and you’re not fucking up so bad. you ARE being really hard on yourself though… and that? it’s me too.

    lots of hugs your way. you’re doing a great job. let yourself believe that.

  11. Thats me too….I’m that mom that is too tired from work to play with her kid. I never wanted to be that mom…No wait, I was NEVER going to be that mom. Feeling like shit about it.

    But we do what we can do….and tomorrow is a new day. There is always a new day to start fresh. Be kind to yourself.

  12. I am not a mom, but I WAS that kid, and let me tell you… sometimes there’s just nothing you can do. I totally remember being that kid too, and seriously. Nothing you can do. My siblings? Perfect angels. Me? Hell in tiny body pouring bottles of glue in carpet, dipping my sister’s dolls in baby food, shutting my little brother in recycling bins, scratching my sister’s name in cupboards so she was the one that got in trouble and wandering off to friends houses without telling my parents I was leaving the house. And those are just the ones I remember. Haha!

    I’m sincerely terrified to have children now because my parents have been wishing on me that I’ll spawn a copy of my younger self my whole life. Such a multitude of wishes cannot possibly go unnoticed… If it helps at all… I grew out of it and Kendall will too 🙂 You just have to survive until then. 😉

  13. I truly believe we (moms) are harder on ourselves than we should be.

    To be honest, three has always been a harder age for our kids ( we have 5) than two.

    I am sending you big, virtual bear hugs! Being a mama is Haaaarrrdddd! You are doing a great job! Let yourself believe that!

  14. Oh Jill this is so me. I think we might be raising the same kid just different genders. I feel that people look at me constantly thinking how did she eff up so bad.

  15. I will give you the best advice EVER given to me by a fellow mommy- (this is in follow up to the preschool comment)

    Your son will give you the most shit, hurt you in the worst way possible, run away, scream at you, be totally rotten when you want him to be an angel, be an angel when him being rotten would get you out of a sticky situation. But he will do all this only to you because YOU love him. He knows you love him. And no matter what, you always WILL love him. So take it in stride and know, because you are that one constant in his life, he will do all he can for attention from you, good or bad. Because he knows no matter what you are going NOWHERE”

    That little bit of advice from a friend with 5 boys ages 13 to 1 year is exactly what helps me survive my son on his worst days. His push my buttons, make me want to scream, get people looking at me like I deserve the bad mommy backwoods redneck award. (Like when he asked a little girl at the zoo to “excuse me b**ch, please move? I want to get down”) We all have those days. I have them more than others because as a professional nanny, I havbe raised other peoples children for over 15 years. And yet, I struggle daily with “that kid” for the last 4 years.

    Hang in there momma, it can only get better from here!

  16. Yeah, that’s all me too. Except the one about beating my self up because I don’t have it together like “they” do. I have found, by spending endless hours with my friends, that eventually, their kids will behave exactly as badly as yours, even if in different ways. In fact, watch closely enough, and you’ll find yourself thinking, “Thank God my child doesn’t to that!”

  17. It’s me to… completely. My kids are 15 months apart, and both of them are completely wild. But I was talking to my grandma the other day (CRYING to my grandma) and she told me that my kids are the way the are because I’m a GOOD mom. I let them explore, I let them be independent, I let them make messes. I let them run and jump and climb. My kids are FEARLESS and very intelligent. They’re fearless because they know that they can take risks but I will stop them before it gets TOO dangerous. They’re independent because I’m always there to help them. I may be frazzled and always on edge, waiting for the next fall or disaster, but they’ll only be this little once… and I need to enjoy it! (My girls are 19 months and 33 months)

  18. “You know that mom who looks at all the other moms with the calm, disciplined, obedient children and beats herself up for not having it all together like they surely must have?”


    I say this as a mom of one of those kids. I have no idea what I’m doing or how I totally lucked out, but I know that I did.

    She was the zen baby. She has always been extremely cautious – which I adore her for.

    I have it EASY and parenting still kicks my ass more days than not.

    You are a ROCK STAR MOM and don’t you ever forget it.

  19. don’t worry so much about messing up! it’ll just make you feel worse. when you know you’ve screwed up give yourself a few minutes to analyze the situation, forgive yourself and look at those precious faces that adore you regardless. and if it makes you feel any better, my 8yr old was that angel child you were talking about. we rarely ever had to discipline him. we thought we’d done such a good job with him… then came our 2yr old… holy moly that kid is a hot mess to take out in public! and he does NOT listen to much of anything we say. they’re both awesome kids, they just have VERY different personality. i think those angel kids are either just a lucky break for the parents or the result of being scared into being angelic. just saying…

  20. Those are me too!
    Except my 2 yo daughter can’t pee in public… yet.

    Most days I don’t know if I’m coming or going. Please know your not alone 😉


  21. I missed this because it was on my due date, and I was sorta preoccupied with losing my mind right about that time.

    But anyway – That’s me too.

    I wish I could say that 4 is easier, but for me, it ain’t. People keep telling me 5 will be okay, but we’re almost there, and not much has changed. I cannot believe I have to go through this two more times. The more I think about it, the more I discover that I must have been drunk and high to decide to have more kids. I’m telling you, the “That’s Me” list of humiliating moments just keeps growing longer and longer.

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