6 weeks out
I think I’ll have a Halloween party. I think I’ll have a toddler Halloween party. That’s a fabulous idea! A cute little party, nothing big, just something for all the kiddos, something for Kendall. It will be nice to do this for him before the baby comes. Can’t be that hard… I’ll keep it really small.
4 weeks out
Time to send invites… let’s make it an Evite, keep it paperless and eco-friendly. Super easy to just upload everyone’s email addresses…. Wow. So, hmmm… that’s a lot of email addresses. That’s a lot of people. Oh well, surely a lot of them won’t show up. It’s Halloween weekend. They probably all have other plans.
3 weeks out
Soooo… lots of yes’ RSVPs… not so many no’s. Where are we going to put 35 people in this house? Holy crap. Scott’s going to kill me.
2 weeks out
This won’t be so bad. Lots of people will be great! Lots of kids, lots of fun. We’ll have snacks and crafts. I’ll put in an order with Oriental Trading company. We’ll keep it cheap.
I’ll make some delicious pumpkin muffins that I saw on the Pioneer Woman, and I’ll make banana bread. I can even make some dulce de leche in a can to dip apple slices in.
I’ll use the Party Like a Kid Halloween printables for decorations, and we’ll set up a mini pumpkin patch in the back yard. We can even set up a photo opp spot with a hay bale and a giant scarecrow and some potted mums. The kids can all get their picture taken there and I’ll print them all out and mail them out after the party. Maybe they can even color their own magnetic picture frame at the party? Yeah.. that would be awesome! This is going to be so easy. Piece of cake. Nothing to worry about.
1 week out
Shit. I missed the shipping deadline for Oriental Trading Company. I’m exhausted and I need to go shopping for party crafts. I guess I’ll hit up Hobby Lobby tomorrow.
6 days out
Craft stores are where stress goes to get it’s freak on and procreate. Way too many choices, yet nothing I had in mind. No fuzzy magnetic Halloween picture frames? No foam stick-on pumpkin faces? No time to think this through. Kendall has about 5 minutes before he self destructs. Why did I ever decide to bring a 2 year old with me? Oh right… because I DON’T HAVE A CHOICE. Distractions? Tell him about the party! Include him! I know you’ve kept it hush hush up to now so he won’t bother you about it, but this will keep him quiet. Tell him we’re having a Halloween party with all our friends. Brilliant. I am a freaking toddler whisperer.
He thinks he gets a say in things.
Although, he’s adorable. Now telling everyone who passes, “Hewwo. I Kendall. I have Halloleen party at mah house wit mah fwiends. I get stickers.”
Yeah, okay. We’ll get stickers.
“At my Halloleen party, we dance to Katy Perry, okay momma?”
Here come the demands of the 12 year old girl trapped in my 2 year old son’s body.
4 days out
Get stomach flu. Puke brains out. Spend the next 24 hours not preparing for the party or cleaning the house AT. ALL. Instead, make giant messes everywhere.
2 days out
Begin cleaning flu germs out of the house. Nag Scott a little more about how important it is that the guest bath be back to fully functional in time for the party.
Begin to make mental list of all the things to buy tomorrow-
pumpkins for pumpkin patch
pot of mums
napkins and plates
and all the things to clean
the kitchen floor
Start to wonder if I’ll get it all done. Foolishness! I’ll be fine. It’s just a simple little party with 35 guests. Check Weather.com and pray there’s no rain in the forecast. We’ll definitely need to let people spill outside.
1 day out
Begin metamorphosis into PSYCHOTIC WIFE OF DOOM. Breathe fire on husband every 30 seconds, nothing he does is right. Realize time is flying at warp speed.
WHY CAN’T I STOP TIME TO CLEAN THE HOUSE?? WHY DOES THIS HOUSE EVEN NEED TO BE CLEANED? WHY CAN’T WE EVER KEEP ANYTHING CLEAN? WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF? CLEAN, HUSBAND, CLEAN!!! FASTER!
Pick up printables from Kinkos because piece of shit printer doesn’t have enough ink.
Head to evil empire Walmart. Throw last 12 pumpkins in cart while shooting laser beams of death out of eyes at little old lady headed toward me for one.
F*ck Pioneer Woman’s fancy pants recipe. Am now making box mix cupcakes.
F*ck homemade cream cheese frosting. Betty Crocker for the win!
F*ck dulce de leche in a can. That shiz takes 4 hours to cook! And it very possibly could, literally, blow up in my face. Grab two tubs of caramel sauce.
Argue with husband, who thinks his opinion matters, about decorations and plates and napkins. Psychotic Wife of Doom amasses super powers while in evil empire, becomes even more psychotic, even more full of doom. Am now breathing fire AND spitting napalm.
Come home, clean more, bake my ass off, yell at husband, ignore child, QUESTION SANITY x 1,000.
Bed at 12:30
Day of party
Wake at 7:30, QUESTION SANITY, realize Psychotic Wife of Doom is still amongst us.
CLEAN. Half ass the windows. These are parents of toddlers we’re having over. Surely they will understand smudgy windows.
Contemplate dog murder after learning (via my nose) that the Labrador contracted some sort of foul case of flatulence mixed with deadly butt juice over night. Nix idea upon realizing dog murder would just make more of a mess to clean. Grab bottle of Febreze and light 50 candles.
Am pretty sure husband is drawing up divorce papers. NO TIME, NO TIME FOR DIVORCE! MUST SET UP PUMPKIN PATCH! NO, YOU ARE NOT PUTTING THOSE PUMPKINS IN STRAIGHT LINES! HOW HARD IS IT TO LINE UP PUMPKINS?!
Realize we forgot potted mums and giant scarecrow. F*ck photo opp spot. Am over it. Am over everything.
30 minutes until party
Everything is done, house looks great, Psychotic Wife of Doom is gone. Apologize profusely to husband and child. Put on makeup. Put on smile.
Cue smoke and mirrors.
The party was actually a great success. We had over 30 other people here, including 14 kids under the age of 3. We had hot apple cider and coffee for the adults, cold apple cider for the kids. The pumpkin spice cupcakes I wound up making were DELICIOUS and so easy. Several people on Twitter suggested I try this recipe:
1 box spice cake mix
1 can pumpkin puree
Mix together (will be really dense), bake at 350 for 20 minutes. Seriously, YUM. I topped them with canned cream cheese frosting.
We also had banana bread and apple slices, all of which about 90% was left over. I guess it’s hard for people to eat when they’re chasing their toddlers through someone else’s house.
Kendall had a blast, the weather was perfect, and I *think* I did a good job hiding Psychotic Wife of Doom’s presence once people got there. I have, however, promised my husband I will never do anything like that ever again… at least not while 8 months pregnant. He is a saint for putting up with my moods sometimes, and there should seriously be an official, medical term for the level of psychosis that takes over me 24 hours before I host an event. It’s a freaking miracle our relationship even survived the days leading up to our wedding.
I wish I could share pictures of the party with you, but uh, I don’t have any that aren’t blurry or too dark or just plain terrible.
I do, however, have a few Halloween pics to share.
And a 32.5 week belly picture
Hope your Halloween festivities were fun! Please tell me I’m not the only one who loses her mind party planning.
Kendall is officially 2.5 today and I’m nearly 33 weeks pregnant. Holy. Shit.