Pregnant 2nd Time Moms- A Warning

The end is definitely near. I’ve been in denial about this pregnancy actually coming to a close and producing a real, live baby, but I think my body is trying to override my brain and make me wake up to the fact that this is happening… very, very soon. Ways my body is shaking me and shouting, “HELLO! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!” include the following:

1. So visibly exhausted merely pushing a cart through a store that employees are stopping me and asking if I need a motorized one. I have to decline and point out that the 38 lb toddler is a little too big to throw in the front basket.

2. Waking up choking on my own stomach acid. My reflux is so bad now that even my super strong dose of Zantac, taken twice a day, is NO match for the lava that is insisting on finding it’s way back up to my mouth.

3. MORE stretchmarks… because, you know, the vast array I collected while pregnant with Kendall just weren’t enough for my cannonball belly this time around. They are now showing up ON TOP of my stomach. How completely unfair is that?

4. The return of morning sickness along with an uncomfortable, I ate too much feeling that lasts all day. I need to approach eating like that of a gastric bypass patient these days, it seems. Obviously there’s not even enough room for the acid in my stomach, let alone a whole sandwich (which I still wish could be slathered in grout and dunked in laundry detergent because, yes, still going strong with the Pica).

5. False labor.

Oh yeah, that last one was super fun this weekend. I began feeling contractions in a pattern, accompanied by some lower back pain and cramping while at an event in the city on Saturday night. They continued every 2-3 minutes my whole drive back and for another hour and a half after I got home. I finally got them to go away with lots of water, general laziness and a bubble bath. The whole time all I could think was, “This absolutely can NOT happen now. I have entirely too much laundry to clean and the birthing tub and carseat won’t arrive in the mail until later this week!”

It really drove the point home that, despite the level of sheer exhaustion I’m unable to shake, somehow I have to get ready to have this baby. Which meant I went into furious planning mode and made a list that is plastered on the refrigerator. Just making the list took nearly all the energy I had, I have no f-ing idea how I’m going to summon the strength I need to actually cross everything off of it.

So I leave you with this lesson, especially for all you second-time moms. You may *think* you have all the time in the world. You may be in disbelief at how fast this pregnancy is flying by and your reaction may be to bury your head in the sand and think at some point time will magically stand still or at least slow to allow you to get things accomplished. You WILL BE WRONG, and you will be screwed. Oh, how I wish I would have got so much more done back in my 2nd trimester when I experienced that brief renewal. Listen to me when I say do not count on getting anything of significance done the last 8 weeks of your pregnancy, especially when you are in charge of keeping a toddler alive. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Kendall is 2.5 and I’m 35.5 weeks pregnant… and screwed

50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide
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  1. I can totally relate! I had this LOOOOONG list of to-do’s at the end of my pregnancy – and #2 decided to establish his earlybird status and come @ 36w4days. Let’s just say that list is still being finished…and he’s 6 wks old now. πŸ™‚

  2. well shit! I’m screwed, i haven’t had a ‘brief renewal’ in my second trimester. The exhaustion and morning sickness haven’t given me a brief respite at all. I sorted clothes and picked a bedding set, that’s about all i’ve gotten done so far. baby might be sleeping in a laundry basket…if i can get through enough laundry to have an empty basket

  3. Ugh. I remember that. And it’s a bajillion times harder when you have a toddler already.

    Oh, and the false labor is AWFUL with #2. I barely had it with #1, but with #2 I thought I was going into labor sooooo many times. I even got to 6cm and thought “hey this is it!” Nope. I walked around like that for 3 effing weeks until I was induced at 39w1d. Good times.

    Best of luck mama! It will all get done and she’ll be here before you know it!

  4. Oh geez I feel ya – you are right, I should be doing some stuff, since I have 10 days left of 2nd tri…
    With my first, my midwives told me I could have a glass of red wine with the bath when I went into false labor (I went into false labor, say, around 3 times before I started just ignoring it…). I think the wine totally helped!! If your midwife will let you!
    In fact, that reminds me. I am going to go ahead and buy the wine NOW!!

  5. Bloody. Hell. At 29 weeks pregnant with my second, I didn’t not need this post today. I still have 11 (maybe?) weeks and I already don’t know how I am going to get it all done.

  6. While it’s true… it won’t matter once number two arrives. I know that sounds trite but I felt the same with baby two and baby three but after they arrived I thought ‘ Why did my bathroom drawers have to be perfect for this?”

    The only thing that did matter was having food options, baby clothes ready, and a few new things to help me with my post partum depression.

    It won’t matter. Just rest. Pregnancy exhaustion is so different from baby is here exhaustion. They are both draining in different ways.

    The first two years is always tough. I had a tougher time adjusting to two then three kids. But everyone is different. Just enjoy the last few weeks as much as you can with your little guy. It will never be quite the same. I am glad I let it all go and just vegged on the couch with my two babies when I was pregnant with my third. Don’t regret it at all.

    Ladies- You don’t need to get it all done. It will work out. Prioritize and then give yourself a break. I have had 5 pregnancies ( 2 that weren’t successful) and I found the best was to try not to stress. Life is going to change drastically- rest while you can. It will get better. Women have amazing adaptability and strength. Listen to your inner wisdom.

  7. I am sending this post to my husband. HE insists we have all the time in the world, and why on Earth would we need to think about, much less do anything to prepare for, the second baby yet? I am 14 weeks pregnant. Time to get a move on.

  8. I’m with Shannon, I’m in my second tri and wondering WTF is the renewal period? I don’t have it!! I’m 23 weeks and wondering WTF is going on here!! Hello kid stay put for AT least the next 17 weeks so I can get some stuff done… like getting a room ready for you or you’ll be stuck sleeping in one of my drawers πŸ™‚

  9. Gah. I had the same kind of episode with my 2nd pregnancy that kicked me in the rear. It will all be fine. You have boobs, a bed and the carseat is on its way, right? That’s all you need (since heavy sedation and copious amounts of vodka aren’t allowed).

    Enjoy the last few weeks as a family of three. In another year you’ll barely remember what is was like to not have your new girlie.

  10. I am pregnant right now with my 3rd. I never had a period where I felt good this whole pregnancy. I have been on b6 and 1/2 generic unisom since like week 7. I am not 27 1/2 weeks. I have tried numerous times to stop taking it and STILL have disabiling MS. I eat tums like candy. So relieved this is our last baby :)!!!! In the home stretch.

  11. Ugh, I feel you. I felt so freaking unprepared that last month before Jack was born and it seemed like a MILLION things came up that I had been neglecting..meanwhile I could barely walk from the couch to the kitchen without breaking a sweat and feeling like I was going to pass out. It will be ok though !! Remember, it doesn’t have to be perfect..everything doesn’t have to be done, and everyone will survive.

  12. Thanks. At 16 weeks, I am finally feeling better and then this…BAM. LOL.
    How about working full time and caring for a 2 year old??? Will that be difficult once I hit the oh so fun 8-9 month mark? HAHA

    Honestly, I am not worried…besides a new bouncer, I feel confident. We have SO much for my colicky, reflux, non-sleeping son, that i am ready. If we have a girl, she can wear some boy clothes..who cares, LOL.

    i am just hoping for a non-colicky/reflux child. That is all…just be easier, PLEASE!

  13. AMEN. This is my life lately too, 37 weeks pregnant with our 2nd, chasing around a 22 month old and still hoping that I actually get all 3 weeks I have left…

  14. lol- I think you all are scaring me away from having a 2nd! Good luck Jill- it will all work out. Tell your hubby to get crackin on that list and you take it easy.

  15. thanks for the heads up!

    BTW – have you talked to your Dr about Prilosec? I had the same awful reflux (waking up, choking on it). Prilosec definitely worked better than Zantac. And I could not eat much dairy, or eat a couple hours before bed. Just some tips, which you may already know!

  16. Honestly? I think it was a blessing that our house did not sell. Because in this little house we didn’t have a nursery to decorate.

    All we did was borrow a changer to put in our master and wash the clothes. No decorating necessary. I can’t imagine if I had to plan a whole other room for Brigham before he was born. I was just way too tired taking care of a toddler and myself.

    I kept joking that I would think about the pregnancy when we were on our way to the hospital! And that’s pretty much what happened.

    I was totally thrown for a loop when he came at 38 weeks. But the timing was perfect regardless of how much of a mess our house was πŸ™‚

  17. duly terrified. (wonder if my OB can call in a rx for birth control…?)

    also: choking on stomach acid. I was right there with you when I was pregnant. only it was like that from before I peed on a stick until the morning after he was born. I totally related with your tums story from back in the day. I kind of fear that more than labor.

  18. Hey, just something to try – I had that all-day, just ate too much Chinese food feeling and I tried papaya enzymes(any digestive enzymes from whole foods would work also) and it was MIRACULOUS!!!! Just an idea for that part of the crappines ……

  19. Now you have me wondering…the stretch marks are on *top* of your belly…like you can look directly down and just see them? If so, I am just going to lay this out there and say that sucks, mama! I can’t imagine getting more on top of the millions I already have, but alas, I am sure they are in my future as well.

    Try to enjoy these last few weeks and make Scott take Kendall out a couple days so you can get some stuff crossed off that list!

  20. You are so right. I hope women heed your advice. Lord knows I could have used it two months ago. Ill never stop being freaked out by how quickly time flies. Hang in there gorgeous. That reflux must super suck :O(

  21. I’m terrified and not even pregnant yet! My son is turning 2 and we just started trying for #2. My husband wants to get pregnant now but I keep thinking one more month, one more month, that’s all I need to get stuff done.

    I have such strong memories of the 1st & 3rd trimester exhaustion that I wanted to prepare and freeze meals in advance of just getting pregnant. I want to decorate my son’s room while I have energy and so much more. I feel once I get pregnant I will be too tired to care and nothing will get done.

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