My mother raised three children to adulthood, my mother kept all three of us alive, my mother is a more than capable caregiver…. *deep breath.*
I just handed Kendall off to my mom, gave her complete responsibility for him for the next week. I am CHILD FREE (with the exception of the one that takes up the space in my uterus and keeps kicking me in the bladder) for the next WEEK.
I should be rejoicing, cartwheeling, partying it up, watching a Teen Mom marathon and eating junkfood without having to hide.
I should not be fighting off mommy visions of my 2 year old running off into streets, climbing under cars, getting into trouble, harming himself. I should not be fighting off this anxiety. This is completely unfounded. My mother is going to be just fine taking care of him… right?
It’s just, he’s SO active, and he has a tendency to not listen, and he wears *me* out, and I’m used to him. I’ve been gearing up for the marathon that is toddlerhood for the last 2 years. I have the endurance built up.
AND I’m a paranoid, first-time parent who might have a bit of a control issue. There’s that, too. My helicopter tendencies might be making me twitch just a little, I will admit.
She’s watched him before overnight. Once when we planned to run the marathon in San Antonio last year but wound up with a killer case of food poisoning instead, and once when we went to Sonoma for 4 nights. Each of those times, though, we were doing something, going places, pre-occupied… or vomiting our neurosystems out. We weren’t at home without him. We weren’t just here... living life… like we did before he was born.
So we have a week to spend with each other, to give a little more attention to the dogs. to work on getting some house projects done, and to maybe just go out a few times. We don’t have to worry about bathtime or bedtime tonight. I can sleep in tomorrow as long as I want. I can just pick up and go to the store whenever I feel like it.
I know it’s going to be an awesome “staycation,” and I know Kendall is going to have a BLAST on his vacation away from us out in the country. And my mom? She’s going to be great… but I have a feeling she’s going to be the one in need of a little relaxation come next Sunday night.
Have you ever sent your kid(s) away just so you could spend some time doing nothing (or a lot) around the house? What did you do with your time?
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27 comments
The entire idea of this is beyond my comprehension. This coming from the fact we have no family close by and so my mind is boggled by this whole concept. You are lucky. I would be worrying. Full of what-if’s. I am obviously no help…just here to say I am excited for you!!
When we lived in Virginia this would have never happened. It was a big reason why we moved back to Texas after having Kendall. We don’t have family in the immediate area, but it’s so nice that we can plan for things like this. It must be very hard to not have family nearby at all.
Just enjoy it! And by that, I mean sleep in, call your mom multiple times a day to check on K (and lay off when she starts sounding annoyed), eat all the junk food you want, and *remember*: this may be the last free time from kiddos that you get for awhile!! Savor it, Mama! We know you love him–and he won’t forget that after a week. Now your mom…she needs a BIG pat on the back for taking an active toddler for a WEEK…jealous! My mom takes mine for a night, calls me (early, thus defeating the purpose) the next morning, and asks when I’m coming to get her!! Lmao…definitely jealous here!
We have been away from our 2 year old two main times. The first was when he was just over a year and he went to his Grandma’s house for 2 weeks while we were off galavanting in Hawaii. I was so nervous and worried that it would go okay. I fretted and felt sick about it. I obsessed over everything that was out of my control.
Turns out that my boy did amazing and bonded with my family while we were away. A year after that we did the same thing. Off he went on a 8 day vacation to Grandma’s house and we went to Hawaii alone for a week.
My mum kept the same routine that I had him on and he did fantastic. It was so much fun hearing how he was doing and the things that they got up to.
I think that it is hardest on the parents, and especially the mamas. Enjoy sleeping in and napping whenever you want.
Hi Jill,
Never commented, but love your blog! Here’s what I would do with that time:
-sleep in every morning!
-do something productive with the rest of the morning…this is your chance to get everything ready for baby # 2 that you’ve not had time to get to with K around!
-take lots of rest breaks (I remember getting so tired every 10 minutes or so while pregnant) and watch some trashy tv
-take a nap in the afternoon
-read a good book
-go to dinner and/or a movie with your husband
I think that you’ll feel better after a few good reports from your mom- just call her to check in as often as you need to and I bet you’ll start calling less and less often.
Enjoy your staycation!
Thanks! And thanks for coming out of lurkdom. All great suggestions 🙂
Confession: My child is 2.5 years old and I’ve never spent a night away from her.
Mostly, the above is due to my helicoptering issues as well…and the fact that 100% of our family lives 2 hours away. It’s too much for me to handle.
I know the time is coming for us to bite the bullet and just send her off for a weekend, but the anxiety that comes along with just the thought of it is nearly suffocating.
I am green with envy, but as you can see I can totally relate to how you are feeling. Enjoy!
I honestly cant imagine leaving him for that long, especially for no reason! Heck, Ive only spend about 10 hours total his entire life away from him. I think I would spend the entire time worried sick about him and about the person watching him, lol. While I think it would be awesome, realistically speaking I couldn’t handle it, haha.
Well, we’ve gradually worked up to this. This will be the longest he’s spent from us, but we started about a year ago letting him stay with her for a couple nights, then 4 nights when we went to Sonoma, now 7. It is really enjoyable once I get over the anxiety. I’m already feeling better after a night of sleep. You should try it! Even if just for a night 🙂
Just remember that he’s going to be a totally different toddler for your mom than he is for you. He knows your buttons, he’s still trying to impress her. 😉
We just sent the kids to the inlaws for one night this weekend and it’s amazing how just 18 hours without them allowed us to reconnect. You are going to have a FABULOUS time and it’s so worth it now that your lives are going to get even more hectic.
Let your mom enjoy her grandson, and you enjoy yourself and your husband! Plus the sleeping in. let’s not forget the sleeping in!
I have to say I’m quite spoiled in this respect. My kids have John’s mom and my dad who both live close and take the kids several times a month. It was definitely terrifying at first, but now we don’t even to call and check on them. My dad or John’s mom both take the kids for no reason at all. They’ll just call us up and say “Can I take the boys?” And I always say “YES YES YES!” (not that I don’t miss them, I just know they have a great time with their grandparents.) My dad already took them on two Saturdays in a row this month. Unfortunately, WE never (okay, rarely) get to do anything fun while they’re gone. All we ever do is homework, or housework… there also seems to be a really interesting habit of my doula clients going into labor on our pre-arranged kid-free nights (which, yes, is convenient, but ya know, it’s still a mild bummer to spend your night off working.)
Don’t worry though – that helicopter thing will seriously ease up when the second baby is a toddler. You just get to a point where you throw in the towel and stop stressing like FTM’s do. I’d say it’s a blessing.
Enjoy your week!!!!
When I went through the epic migraine in August, we sent Deacon off to Virginia for a wedding with M’s parents, and it wasn’t the first time he’d gone away with them. We’re lucky enough to have them so close by, but I still panicked a bit the first time they took him.
It’s to the point now when they’ll take him sometimes just so they don’t have to truck up here first thing Monday morning to get him. I’m not going to lie, it’s really, really nice. Doesn’t mean I don’t miss my baby when he’s gone. I talk to him at least once a day when he’s away.
Believe me, I understand your worries..it’s just a mom thing and I think we all go through that anytime we leave them.
But, try to relax. Do whatever you want, sleep in, watch tv for you (no noggin for a week !) Walk through Target ALONE, just do your own thing. Trust me you need this, especially since you have another one coming in a couple of months 🙂
My parents live 40 minutes away…which is such a help. My mom came and picked up my 2 year old for a 3-day Mimi overnight stay while we were getting new floors installed. E was so excited to drive away with Mimi. I happily waved goodbye to her, after reminding my mom not to talk on her phone and to drive safely. Then I turned around, walked up my front steps and started sobbing. I literally sat on the floor of the playroom and tried to breathe deep. I took an ativan and cried. Then…we got to watch whatever we wanted on tv, ate dessert without a little mouth wanting any, and went to bed without tiptoeing up the steps. It.was.AWESOME.
The next two days I got so much done. Painted the upstairs, super-cleaned the bathrooms, watched Oprah, didn’t cut anyone’s sandwich into bite-sized pieces. Again, AWESOME. I felt like I actually accomplished something. Something easy to see and measure the success of.
And the best part was that I got to miss my little terror. I was so glad to see her when my mom brought her back. And she was glad to see me. She was actually more well-behaved for a couple of days after she got back. Sometimes a change in scenery and a little break from Mommy can do wonders for a toddler, I think.
Enjoy the break, and enjoy getting to miss K for a while.
I would spend half the time being lazy and the other half getting a bunch of stuff done. I don’t know that we’ll ever get this, though.. so.. yeah, not point in dreaming about it. Glad you are, though!
Ditto the others – just enjoy it! We are so fortunate that we have all of our parents and most of our family right here in town, so Michael has a sleepover once a week or so, at my mom’s or father-in-law’s. He (and they) love the time together. In fact, today my father-in-law is taking Michael to the aquarium all day and keeping him overnight, and we’re headed to Atlantic City for a much-needed mini-getaway. Trust me – it was tough letting him go at first – and we’ve still only ever been away from him for one night. I guess you could say that I’m a bit of a helicopter mom myself 🙂
Oy! This is exciting and terrifying all in one bundle! I can’t wait to hear all about it. Being the mom giving adivce, I can tell you it will be fine and he’ll have a blast…but if I were the mom getting advice, I’d probably tell you to shove it! I’m the mom that left the hospital as early as possible after giving birth b/c I was worried about my “baby” home with daddy and grammie without me! PLEASE PLEASE come back next week and tell us how great it was, how much your mom followed the routine (or that not following didn’t stop the world from turning), and how fantastic it was for you and K to be apart for a bit, allowing you some time to relax and him some time to spread his bitty wings! : ) Have a great week!
O.M.G. That sounds so incredibly awesome! Would your mom adopt me and my little one???? While our parents are close, mine aren’t healthy enough and my in-laws are too busy. So jealous of your week.
I have only ever spent one night away from Ella (2.5) and that was on Mother’s Day. 🙂 Best Mother’s Day present ever.
I hope you have a great week! Try to enjoy it!
Wow, I’m jealous! I’m also kind of a crazy helicopter parent and I’ve never left her with anyone for more than a few hours (she’ll be 2 in January). I totally understand all of the worrying. I just let my StepMother take her to Little Gym & lunch for the first time (in my car) and that gave me crazy anxiety. Good for you guys!
My hubby and I went to visit his parents in Alaska a couple months ago, and left our baby (just 4 1/2 months then) with them overnight. We have no family near us, and had barely even spent any time away from the baby, so it was a wonderful break for us. Hard to be away, but something very important for mom and dad! Hope you guys have a blast!
I am SO abnormally paranoid about leaving my baby with ANYONE. I hope that by the time she’s two, I’ll be able to leave her with my mom overnight so that hubby and I can have some time to ourselves. But I won’t even think about it until then. Good luck and have fun this week. I hope it leaves you feeling refreshed and ready to welcome #2!
ENJOY. Although, being home would be a bit harder. We just went to Colorado and left the kids here w/ my parents and it was fine. But we were away. I say do what YOU want, WHEN you want, HOW you want!
Totally enjoy yourself ! Mom will be just fine, look at how you and your brother & sister turned out. She has everything under control and now you need to kick back & enjoy. It amazes me that when my boys were home with me they ended up with broken arms & stitches but, with grandma they were over fed with ice cream, had way too much fun & actually listened to what she said and to top it off they didn’t want to come home…Really !!!
We have left Jack with Grandparents for that long. We are lucky enough that the furthest are 40 minutes away.
When it’s more then a night, it’s usually bc daycare is closed and I don’t want to use my vacation or I’ve had surgery so my parents take him for a week.
He loves going to his grandparents so I have no worries.
When I have to work, I really enjoy the extra half hour I get bc I don’t have to get him ready. Or that I don’t have to cook supper bc it’s just the two of us.
My son turns one next week, and because of breastfeeding, we haven’t had a night away from him yet. The idea of having some time alone sounds amazing, but I know I would be thinking just like you.
Just enjoy it, though!! We just found out we are on the road to two under two, and I know I am definitely hoping for a few days just to me and my husband. It’s the calm before the storm…!
I left my not-quite-2 year old with friends for 2 nights when I had the new baby. Otherwise he hasn’t spent the night anywhere without me. I have gone out a couple of nights, but the first time was HARD, and that was with my mom watching him. Of course, I was still breastfeeding, so I was worried that he’d refuse to eat and scream the entire time I was gone. He was fine, and I’m sure it will get easier as the kids get older. At my insistence, I spent the night at my aunt’s just before I was 2, and my mom worried the entire time. 🙂 After that she was totally fine with it though- she had at least a little quiet with only one kid in the house.
We don’t send our kids away very often, but occasionally my mom has some time off of work and our older 2 boys, 3yrs and 6yrs, go there for a night. The longest they’ve stayed there was 2 nights, one time. The hubby and I just enjoyed our time at home, the peace, the quiet, being able to sleep in, being able to watch a movie at home in peace (-: I don’t know if I could part with them for a week though…. lol